Re: Have you ever wanted..

July 7, 2004

Yup! Been there, done it. You're not alone.

We're having to " parent " our parents. Just like we can't confide lots

of stuff with our kids, because they don't have the emotional maturity

to handle it. And so it is with our parents whom we've outpaced on the

Maturity Scale. It's not fun parenting a parent. Big bummers!

Smiles!

Carol

countrymom_5 wrote:

> I hate the fact that I can't call and say " mom I don't feel too hot. "

> Just wanted to vent to people who can understand what it's like not

> to be talk to their parent.

July 8, 2004

I so understand what you mean. I see my hubby venting to his parents and

sister ( my sister committed suicide ) and I feel so jealous and frustrated.

When I was preg with my daughter our twenty week unltrasound showed all

sorts of " markers " that she may have a lethal chromosome disorder. I was sooo

distraught. This was the baby I had prayed for and wanted so badly. Like a

fool i called the nada monster forgetting she is less than human and therefore

unable to comprehend human feelings.

I guess I expected sympathy or even support. Boy was I fool. I called

that Witch being and I was si upset, in tears, besides myself. You know what

her

response was, " WEll what did YOU do to cause this? Were you DRINKING and

doing DRUGS? " At first I was STUNNED into silence and when I replied I had not

done anything the Evil One responded with, " WEll YOU MUST have done

something. YOU must have been around something to cause this. What did YOU do?

"

I hung up on the bitch, ( do pardon my french, but I do liken her more to

a female dog with rabies than a human mother )

My daughter did have problems with her cord and was born with low birth

weight but is a healthy happy tot now, thank God. But I will never forget nor

forgive that Soul Vampires cruelty.

alomst two years later when I confronted her about this she told she she

did NOT CARE how she made me feel because as a nurse it was her right and

obligation to be that way. I tried to explain to her she WAS NOT MY NURSE, SHE

WAS MY MOTHER!!!! She didnt get it and said she would do all over again to me

regardless of how it made me feel if the same situation happenned again.

She CANT respond like a MOTHER because she IS NOT ONE, like I said shes

a bitch, LOL.

July 8, 2004

unfortunately yes. I had a head on collision with a UPS truck ( the UPS

truck turned in front of me) while I was hauling horses. Totaled my

truck...permanently damaged my dog ( he ended up with grand mal seizures

that killed him) That's what close and dear friends are for...to tell them

all about your horrible day...

Jackie

> to pick up the phone and call your nada about something bad that

> happened to you and realized you can't do it. You can't do it

> because she will not react the way a normal mother would?

> Yesterday my kids and I were on the way home from my in-laws when I

> was rear ended by a truck. Our truck is destroyed but the kids are

> fine. I have to have a bone scan on Friday because I am having

> problems with my head, left arm and hand.

> I talked to my husband (who is out of town), my insurance agent

> (happens to be a cousin of my husband) and my mother in law. All of

> my husband's brothers and sisters have already called to check on us

> but I can't even tell my mom and that stinks.

> I did e mail my brother and sister to tell them that I don't want to

> be involved in anymore decisions concerning " what to do with

> mother " . I just don't have the energy or the time to spare to deal

> with her mostly imagined problems when I have very real problems to

> contend with here. My son just turned 7 and is now very concerned

> about getting into a vehicle. We were just fortunate that it was our

> old farm truck I was driving. If it had been one of the cars the

> kids would have been seriously injured. The other truck and trailer

> it was hauling managed to push my truck over a 100 feet down the

> road.

> I hate the fact that I can't call and say " mom I don't feel too hot. "

> Just wanted to vent to people who can understand what it's like not

> to be talk to their parent.

July 8, 2004

In a message dated 7/8/2004 11:12:00 AM Eastern Daylight Time,

sleddog@... writes:

> Like a

> fool i called the nada monster forgetting she is less than human and

therefore

> unable to comprehend human feelings.

>why do we do this to ourselves ?? We know what the out come will be.

>Finally, at age 45, I have stopped looking to the witch for anything...but I

>used to want to share things ( both good and bad) with her...and the result

>was so predictable...I'm glad your baby is OK...she's so cute :-)

>Jackie

ThankYou,

July 8, 2004

Sure can relate to this!

Just after my husband died, I went to my nada for comfort.

She put her arm around me and said, " I know your hurting but.... think of how

much more it's going to hurt me when your dad dies. " With nada, it's ALWAYS

about her.

No matter the situation, it's worse, or will be worse, for her.

Warm thoughts,

Have you ever wanted..

to pick up the phone and call your nada about something bad that

happened to you and realized you can't do it. You can't do it

because she will not react the way a normal mother would?

Yesterday my kids and I were on the way home from my in-laws when I

was rear ended by a truck. Our truck is destroyed but the kids are

fine. I have to have a bone scan on Friday because I am having

problems with my head, left arm and hand.

I talked to my husband (who is out of town), my insurance agent

(happens to be a cousin of my husband) and my mother in law. All of

my husband's brothers and sisters have already called to check on us

but I can't even tell my mom and that stinks.

I did e mail my brother and sister to tell them that I don't want to

be involved in anymore decisions concerning " what to do with

mother " . I just don't have the energy or the time to spare to deal

with her mostly imagined problems when I have very real problems to

contend with here. My son just turned 7 and is now very concerned

about getting into a vehicle. We were just fortunate that it was our

old farm truck I was driving. If it had been one of the cars the

kids would have been seriously injured. The other truck and trailer

it was hauling managed to push my truck over a 100 feet down the

road.

I hate the fact that I can't call and say " mom I don't feel too hot. "

Just wanted to vent to people who can understand what it's like not

to be talk to their parent.

Send questions and/or concerns to ModOasis-owner

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http://www.BPDCentral.com

July 8, 2004

> Like a

> fool i called the nada monster forgetting she is less than human and

therefore

> unable to comprehend human feelings.

why do we do this to ourselves ?? We know what the out come will be.

Finally, at age 45, I have stopped looking to the witch for anything...but I

used to want to share things ( both good and bad) with her...and the result

was so predictable...I'm glad your baby is OK...she's so cute :-)

Jackie

July 8, 2004

> Sure can relate to this!

> Just after my husband died, I went to my nada for comfort.

> She put her arm around me and said, " I know your hurting but.... think of

how much more it's going to hurt me when your dad dies. " With nada, it's

ALWAYS about her.

> No matter the situation, it's worse, or will be worse, for her.

> Warm thoughts,

>

yes, it is always about them...:-(

Jackie

July 8, 2004

> Yup! Been there, done it. You're not alone.

>

> We're having to " parent " our parents.

What's " funny " with me is that even though my nada is a nada, I

didn't figure out until LAST year when I was left with little choice

but to break contact with her, that I shouldn't be calling her when I

need a mom! I always called her, I always did, knowing it would be

inadequate, knowing that getting " help " always came at a price well

above it's worth, KNOWING how she was. Glutton for punishment =

ME!!! I just really wanted a mom.

Now even though it took so long to realize that I should give up on

that I will say one thing: The first few times when I felt that urge

to call her up but didn't do it, afterwards when I was able to get

through whatever it was myself, it was just amazing how good that

felt. Not being " independent " or figuring something out myself, but

not having to deal with her baggage on top of it! Because face it,

in the end I always did in the past figure things out myself, I had

to, but with the added " bonus " of having to feign gratitude or

satisfaction to her as the " perfect mother " that she was. So I guess

I have the opposite reaction to wanting this- yeah I might want it

but when I don't act on that, it turns out so much better in the

end. I hope nobody ever feels that way about me! (Better off

without my help than with it!)

July 8, 2004