Re: Having trouble coping

[Guest guest]

Jen,

I'm so sorry you're feeling bad. It sounds like it got worse

yesterday. I do understand those cycles all too well and that

sinking nothing is every going to get better feeling. Oh Jen, I hope

you do go to the new pain doctor. I think they should be able to

help you more. I have used Lidoderm patches but I didn't have good

luck with them. But maybe you would and why not try cuz they cannot

hurt you for sure.

Did you get any sleep???? I wish you could do something with the job

in order to not have to do that lifting. Is there anything??? Did

you see the links I sent Debbie on RSD on the other site?

There was an attorney on that post as well. I wonder if they could

help you?

I sure hope you get to feeling better. Just wanted you to know you

can vent anytime. If you ever want to email me do it I'm always here

for you. I tease you sometimes but I'm just trying to put a smile on

your face!

Love, Amy

[Guest guest]

Hi Lyndi,

I was in a really bad place last night when I posted. It was

starting to get late, and NOTHING I tried was working to kill the

pain. I'd taken 20mg of Oxy, Soma several times, used the heating

pad, had my husband massage me from neck to hips using muscle rub,

and even still, I just wanted to be put out of my misery. I was up

til about 3 trying to find relief. It's eased up some now, but I'm

still pretty uncomfortable at best.

Okay, I have to defend my team leader here. He's actually a pretty

good guy. On a normal basis, he schedules me to work on smaller

bearings, and has agreed to never again schedule me on a job called

material handling, which was total hell for me the one time I did

it. I don't know what was up with him that day, whether he just got

fed up with people complaining, or if he was just having a bad day

himself. Like I said, he's normally NEVER like that, and we usually

get along great. I'm his " fill in " person on the lead jobs when he

needs me to be, so I know he has a lot of respect for me. I'd

already refused to do an order of 45 bearings that weighed 75 pounds

each, and finally got to the point where I just ignored or avoided

the heavy stuff by Saturday anyway. At worst, nothing probably

would have happened to me other than I would have been bitched at or

written up for insubordination, but I doubt it would have gotten

that far, because I do have FMLA restrictions. I just didn't have

my paperwork with me at the time. I took it out of my purse to make

a copy, and forgot to put it back in! As for ostraciziation, I am

not the least bit worried about that. The person who complained was

NOT a friend, or even an acquaintance. My friends know what I go

through, so they'd never ditch me because of that...and my friends

definitely outnumber non-friends! I'm a generally nice, and easy to

get along with person. So tomorrow morning, the team leader, the

boss, and I are going to sit down and very thoroughly go over my

work restrictions, so no one ever has any doubts again.

Yes, the pain made it very tough for me to function with my family.

I'm thankful that my afternoon shift husband had yesterday off, or I

would have been facing it all alone. My girls are 13 and 11, so

they pretty much understand what is going on with me, but they dont'

always deal with it in the best ways. Most of the time, they're

pretty good, but there are times when tempers flare, and they try

to " pull the wool over my eyes " like your childer do, with homework

and stuff. I've gotten very good a directing the household from the

couch when need be though. The only time my kids get freaked out is

when I'm in the grips of a severe fibro fog, the kind that has me

not knowing whether I'm coming or going, but hell, those sometimes

scare me! The last one I had made me totally forget how to perform

job functions that I'v known for 8 years!

My rash doesn't show up like the traditional butterfly, more like a

blob of something has been dropped at some point on my nose. It's

usually pretty small, no bigger than the size of a dime, but it

looks horrible. And no matter how many times I get it and explain

it, the same people will ask me over and over what I did to my

nose. That is SOOO exasperating! Can't they remember from the last

FIVE TIMES?? I'm grateful that my tests keep coming back negative

too. I just wish there was something that made them heal a lot

faster!

I live in the US, Ohio to be exact. Perhaps sometime in the future

I will check into vocational rehab, when it gets to the point when I

can no longer do the work at all. It's just that right at this

point, I can't walk away from my job. Also, they might be willing

to transfer me to another dept. if this job gets to be too much. I

think there is a " special circumstances " clause in our handbook. I

know of 2 people who were moved to new jobs one after an

autoaccident and one due to a degnerative illness, that left them

disabled, so I don't think they can change the rules just because

it's a chronic illness. But as far as the vocational rehab programs

are concerned, do they pay you while they are training you? I can't

afford to be without an income.

I'm still wavering on the pain management doctor thing. My doctor

doesn't have any problems with treating my pain with narcotics and

muscle relaxers, and I have absolute trust in him. He referred me

to a pain doctor once, and it was a nightmare experience. This

doctor didn't want to focus any attention on my Fibro and chronic

tenonitis pain, but only on my lower back and SI joint. He just

wanted to to the high dollar steroid injections, despite the fact

that I'd just told him that I was steroid intolerant. When he found

out that I was pretty much dead set against the injections, he told

me " Well, there is nothing I can do for you then! " and walked out

the door. With that being my first experience, I'm afraid of what

my second will hold. But I do agree that it's probably time for

more agressive treatment. And okay, I will admit, I'm afraid of

change, and of new doctors. They make me anxious.

BTW, I haven't been able to turn my head all the way to the side in

well over a month. I'm jealous that you are able to! I know I need

to start making some real, strong changes, it's just hard to get

started. Since it's Fibro Awareness month, and Noble had a

huge display, and I picked up a few more books to read. Hopefully,

they'll give me the kick in the butt I need to leave the comfort of

my PCP, and find someone who will be very aggressive in my treatment.

Thanks for your reply. I really appreciate it!

Hugs,

Jen

PS...I know what you mean about broken sleep nights. I was up til

almost 3 myself!

[Guest guest]

Dearest Amy,

Yes, my pain hit it's highest level last night, and I hit my

lowest! I didn't put forth a lot of effort yesterday at work, but

ya know, I really don't care. I was worn out, in pain that wouldn't

go away, and I wanted to be at home in bed with my heating pad.

They were lucky I was even there at all!

Since I wasn't getting any sleep last night...the pain was keeping

me awake, I spent time looking up massage therapists and pain

specialists. I have quite a list going on now. The massage

therapists I'm going to start checking out on Monday when I get home

from work, and the pain specialists I'm going to discuss with my PCP

when I see him, as I'm making an appt. with him as well on Monday.

I'm getting to the point where intermittent usage of narcotics and

muscle relaxers aren't cutting it, nor is the half-way FM treatment

I'm getting. I think I need to be seeing someone who is more

specialized.

My pain level is lower than it was yesterday, but still not low

enough for me to be comfortable. At least it's low enough for me to

get " some " relief from the meds now though! As far as the job goes,

I have FMLA restrictions, but so far, they haven't really been

pushed, but just been going on what I've said I can or can't do. It

seems like it's time to make them " officially known " . I didn't see

the post about the attorney...I will have to go and check it out.

I would like at least give the Lidoderm patches a try, at least for

when I'm at work. Like you said, it can't hurt to try! And I

figure that any relief is better than none at all! Now all I have

to do is convince my doctor that the pain I want to use them for

is " localized " enough! That is his biggest point of contention

right now. We'll have to discuss that in depth when I go to see

him!

Thanks for everything Amy. You're a wonderful person, and you

always put a smile on my face, even when you aren't teasing me!

Lots of love and hugs,

Jen

[Guest guest]

Jen,

My eyes are crossing but drop a line and update how you're doing.

I have to go to the city tomorrow for bldwork and a patch if I can

get my doc to cooperate. Hope you are better tomorrow. Love Amy

Hey whats FMLA? I thought it was family leave! lol

love, Amy--- In chronic_pain , " Jen " <nettazig@y...>

[Guest guest]

Jen,

My eyes are crossing but drop a line and update how you're doing.

I have to go to the city tomorrow for bldwork and a patch if I can

get my doc to cooperate. Hope you are better tomorrow. Love Amy

Hey whats FMLA? I thought it was family leave! lol

love, Amy--- In chronic_pain , " Jen " <nettazig@y...>

[Guest guest]

Jen,

My eyes are crossing but drop a line and update how you're doing.

I have to go to the city tomorrow for bldwork and a patch if I can

get my doc to cooperate. Hope you are better tomorrow. Love Amy

Hey whats FMLA? I thought it was family leave! lol

love, Amy--- In chronic_pain , " Jen " <nettazig@y...>

[Guest guest]

Amy wrote:

> Jen,

> The last attorney was for SSD. The other 2 were sites someone was

> asking for about RSD. I don't see the post though. I wonder if it

> was info I wasn't suppose to post. If you need it I'll email it to

> ya. Let me know. Love, Amy

Hi Amy

In an earlier post, you said you posted the attorney and RSD info to a different

group.

Were you talking about that group, when you said the message hadn't shown up?

Or did you think it hadn't shown up on this one?

--

EasilyConfusedLyndi

[Guest guest]

<<< After 13 years of constantly battling pain that thought of not hurting

anymore does return from time to time. With the meds I have it would be

easy to give in to that thought but then pain would win the battle. Being a

Texan or maybe it is the German/Irish/ blood in me I can't surrender.

>>>

Welcome to the group . I am sorry you have so much pain but I am glad

you realize that you can't just surrender. I hope you can get some comfort

here with others that really understand what you are going through.

I know how hard it is when others see you and wonder what is wrong with you.

Chronic pain is the 'hidden disease' and when people can't actually 'see'

what is wrong with you, they can be very cruel.

Anyway...take care and know you are among friends who understand.

Peace,

Ann