Guest guest Posted April 11, 2003 Report Share Posted April 11, 2003 Wendie, Sounds like every single day in my house! We did the refinance too for the same reasons. Crying is good. You have to release those endorphins and let it all out every once in awhile. De-stressing after a long day is also very important. Even if I am so exhausted I just want to fall into be, I have my quiet time at night. I have a little fountain I sit by, listening to the trickling water. I make myself some tea (Easy Now from Traditional Medicinals is great), and I just breath deeply and empty my mind for a few minutes. I call it my peace breath. 4-5 seconds in and 4-5 seconds out. Very calming. You are not alone. I think that is what is so nice about this group. Most of us can really relate to what one another is going through. So you know what, if some people think we're having a pity party, then it's going to be a great party because we're all here together, and that's better than a party of one! > Last night & today has been rough on me. I try not to let myself > feel sorry for Sky or myself, but the past 48 hours I've been > struggling. I still feel like we've been swept away into an > alternate universe. It's been a month and a half since we got Sky's > diagnosis & I still feel as lost as ever. I'm struggling over what > therapies & treatments to start Sky on & trying to figure out how > we'll pay for it. She's getting O.T. & S.T. through E.I. & we're > staring Tomatis in May. I'm pretty sure we're going to try > Floortime, but I keep going back and forth if we should do ABA. > Everytime I read about ABA at first I think it all sounds great & > then other times I think it will be hell for her considering her > sensory issues. We found out this week our insurance company isn't > paying for all of our Ped. Neuro. visits which we originally thought > was covered. It doesn't look like the insurance company is going to > be much help paying for anything she may need in the future. I > contaced SSI today & we make too much money to get any kind of > benefits. I called Medicaid too & got the same response. My husband > makes too much money, but not enough to pay for all these extras. > We're refinancing our house next week to get a lower interest rate & > to pay off one of our cars. We're planning on putting the extra > money toward Sky's therapies, but it's still not enough. > > Today after I made the phone calls to SSI & Medicaid I decided to > take a break from all this. My girls were napping so I decided to > fix me a soda & read for awhile. I was standing in front of the > kitchen sink & tears just poured out of my eyes from nowhere. I > cried so hard I couldn't stand & just sank to the floor. I prayed > over & over for God to make me strong and to help me be the person my > girls need. I just don't feel like I can do all of this. > > Sky's twin sister, Rain, has been acting out for the past couple of > weeks. We all know why. She's feeling like Sky is getting lots of > attention because of all the theapy we're doing with her. I usually > include Rain in the therapy sessions, but I think she can sense it's > all about Sky. I took Rain to the movies yesterday & let Sky stay > with our sitter. I'm hoping I'll be able to schedule at least one > day a week to do something with Rain by ourselves. I know this won't > fix how she feels, but I don't know what else to do. I'm constantly > hugging & kissing my girls all day & telling them I love them. I > don't want either one of them to feel neglected or that they aren't > loved. I'm just feeling overwhelmed by this diagnosis & what comes > with it. Not to mention all the regular everyday things on top of > that. I feel like I'm loosing my grip & everything is suffering > because I can't cope. I don't know how the rest of you do it all! > I'm sorry this is so long & yes I know it sounds like a big old pitty > party, but I just need to share these feelings with someone who > understands. If you got this far thanks for listening. > Wendie > > <image.tiff> > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted April 11, 2003 Report Share Posted April 11, 2003 Wendie, Sounds like every single day in my house! We did the refinance too for the same reasons. Crying is good. You have to release those endorphins and let it all out every once in awhile. De-stressing after a long day is also very important. Even if I am so exhausted I just want to fall into be, I have my quiet time at night. I have a little fountain I sit by, listening to the trickling water. I make myself some tea (Easy Now from Traditional Medicinals is great), and I just breath deeply and empty my mind for a few minutes. I call it my peace breath. 4-5 seconds in and 4-5 seconds out. Very calming. You are not alone. I think that is what is so nice about this group. Most of us can really relate to what one another is going through. So you know what, if some people think we're having a pity party, then it's going to be a great party because we're all here together, and that's better than a party of one! > Last night & today has been rough on me. I try not to let myself > feel sorry for Sky or myself, but the past 48 hours I've been > struggling. I still feel like we've been swept away into an > alternate universe. It's been a month and a half since we got Sky's > diagnosis & I still feel as lost as ever. I'm struggling over what > therapies & treatments to start Sky on & trying to figure out how > we'll pay for it. She's getting O.T. & S.T. through E.I. & we're > staring Tomatis in May. I'm pretty sure we're going to try > Floortime, but I keep going back and forth if we should do ABA. > Everytime I read about ABA at first I think it all sounds great & > then other times I think it will be hell for her considering her > sensory issues. We found out this week our insurance company isn't > paying for all of our Ped. Neuro. visits which we originally thought > was covered. It doesn't look like the insurance company is going to > be much help paying for anything she may need in the future. I > contaced SSI today & we make too much money to get any kind of > benefits. I called Medicaid too & got the same response. My husband > makes too much money, but not enough to pay for all these extras. > We're refinancing our house next week to get a lower interest rate & > to pay off one of our cars. We're planning on putting the extra > money toward Sky's therapies, but it's still not enough. > > Today after I made the phone calls to SSI & Medicaid I decided to > take a break from all this. My girls were napping so I decided to > fix me a soda & read for awhile. I was standing in front of the > kitchen sink & tears just poured out of my eyes from nowhere. I > cried so hard I couldn't stand & just sank to the floor. I prayed > over & over for God to make me strong and to help me be the person my > girls need. I just don't feel like I can do all of this. > > Sky's twin sister, Rain, has been acting out for the past couple of > weeks. We all know why. She's feeling like Sky is getting lots of > attention because of all the theapy we're doing with her. I usually > include Rain in the therapy sessions, but I think she can sense it's > all about Sky. I took Rain to the movies yesterday & let Sky stay > with our sitter. I'm hoping I'll be able to schedule at least one > day a week to do something with Rain by ourselves. I know this won't > fix how she feels, but I don't know what else to do. I'm constantly > hugging & kissing my girls all day & telling them I love them. I > don't want either one of them to feel neglected or that they aren't > loved. I'm just feeling overwhelmed by this diagnosis & what comes > with it. Not to mention all the regular everyday things on top of > that. I feel like I'm loosing my grip & everything is suffering > because I can't cope. I don't know how the rest of you do it all! > I'm sorry this is so long & yes I know it sounds like a big old pitty > party, but I just need to share these feelings with someone who > understands. If you got this far thanks for listening. > Wendie > > <image.tiff> > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Join the conversation
You are posting as a guest. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.
Note: Your post will require moderator approval before it will be visible.