Re: Nada at the recital...the continuing saga

[Guest guest]

Di,

What a good plan to go out to dinner after the recital! I thought

your comments to your son, about nada's bad choices, and that the

situation was a sad one were very appropriate. You really showed

parental responsibility in a difficult situation, but you did it with

compassion for your son's feelings as well. I also think you were as

respectful to your nada as you could be in these situations.

Your pride in yourself is very well deserved!

Sylvia

> Hi All,

>

> After yesterday's migraine, I woke up to a twitch over my eye.

Hmmm,

> think it was stress related, LOL!

>

> I went to the recital. I was a " chaparone parent " so I sat in the

> seats with my son's group. The auditorium was full, so I had no

idea

> if nada showed up or where she was sitting. I, myself, would have

> been easy to spot- an adult with the kids in dance costumes. I was

> able to enjoy the show and my son's dances. There was to be a

> reception with cookies out front afterwards, but I had told my son

> that we would go out to dinner after the recital ended. It was

> dinnertime when the show ended, but I also wanted to avoid a

> confrontation.

>

> After the recital ended, my son and I headed through the backstage

> to the back hallway. I had parked in the back of the building. As I

> was walking out and looking for my keys, I noticed that son wasn't

> with me anymore. I turned and he was holding the stage door open,

> but he hadn't gone backstage. I called his name and I heard nada

> say, " He's talking to his Grandmother! " So she did travel 300 miles

> and pushed her way through the backstage to reach my son. She stuck

> her head out and asked him if he had a track meet this weekend

> (presumably so she could go and watch him). I said no meets and she

> repeated it as if I were lying. I wasn't. She said goodbye and I

> turned to leave and son came with me. Very awkward to be certain.

>

> I asked son what nada had said to him. He said she wanted him to

> know that she was there to watch him perform, that he did a nice

> job, and that she had wanted to come to his birthday party, but

that

> his parents didn't want her there. He said it was " kinda sad that

> nada can't come to his party. " I said that I wish that nada could

> come to his party too, but that I wasn't ready to be around her

> because she says mean things to me and that she had started to

treat

> son poorly too. We went out to dinner and actually had a fun,

> relaxed time together. I felt a hint of FOG for not being able to

> ask nada to come to dinner, but I knew that would lead to pain and

> suffering.

>

> A mom, daughter, and grandma were seated at the table next to ours

> at dinner. I could see my son looking at them so I said that I

> thought it was sad that nada couldn't make good behavior choices

and

> treat us kindly all of the time.

>

> I made it through the evening and I am proud of how I handled

> myself. I have no idea how nada got here. I feel like I am in a

> fishbowl tonight- that maybe she is driving past our house. I hope

> she doesn't follow us tomorrow, but I will deal with that bridge if

> it shows up on the path!

>

> Thank you all for your words of support, and for just being out

> there as my silent protectors.

>

> Di.