Guest guest Posted June 1, 2005 Report Share Posted June 1, 2005 I think b/c in a sense she discounted your feelings. You said you " feel " molested, not that you said you " were " molested. I get very upset, just like you, when someone discounts my feelings or my reality. Now just the other day when my nada came up and hugged me while I was trying to even move away from her, she hugged me anyway and I said " Get off of me! " Strangely, that is a reaction some people have who have been molested. Now I was not molested by her, anyway, but it's a similar reaction and I don't exactly know all the details about why, but we have those types of shared reactions sometimes with people who have been physically molested; I think it's b/c our boundaries were practically molested - oh, let me change the word, breeched, run over, whatever. Theresa > Hey guys, > I'm having a very hard time dealing with something my therapist said > today. In fact I'm so very angry at her right now that I am posting > this in order to calm down. I say (quite often, apparently) that > sometimes when nada contacts me, or when there is the threat of nada > knowing what I'm doing, I feel " molested " . She said I shouldn't use > that word because it's disrespecting the experience of those who have > actually been " molested. " I was apologetic at the time, because I > don't want to disrespect anybody, but now I am fuming. I have never > been furious with her before, but I am FURIOUS. Why am I so furious? > > --Ch > > > > > > > Send questions and/or concerns to ModOasis-owner > " Stop Walking on Eggshells, " a primer for non-BPs, can be ordered via 1-888-35-SHELL () and for the table of contents, go to: > http://www.BPDCentral.com > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted June 1, 2005 Report Share Posted June 1, 2005 I think b/c in a sense she discounted your feelings. You said you " feel " molested, not that you said you " were " molested. I get very upset, just like you, when someone discounts my feelings or my reality. Now just the other day when my nada came up and hugged me while I was trying to even move away from her, she hugged me anyway and I said " Get off of me! " Strangely, that is a reaction some people have who have been molested. Now I was not molested by her, anyway, but it's a similar reaction and I don't exactly know all the details about why, but we have those types of shared reactions sometimes with people who have been physically molested; I think it's b/c our boundaries were practically molested - oh, let me change the word, breeched, run over, whatever. Theresa > Hey guys, > I'm having a very hard time dealing with something my therapist said > today. In fact I'm so very angry at her right now that I am posting > this in order to calm down. I say (quite often, apparently) that > sometimes when nada contacts me, or when there is the threat of nada > knowing what I'm doing, I feel " molested " . She said I shouldn't use > that word because it's disrespecting the experience of those who have > actually been " molested. " I was apologetic at the time, because I > don't want to disrespect anybody, but now I am fuming. I have never > been furious with her before, but I am FURIOUS. Why am I so furious? > > --Ch > > > > > > > Send questions and/or concerns to ModOasis-owner > " Stop Walking on Eggshells, " a primer for non-BPs, can be ordered via 1-888-35-SHELL () and for the table of contents, go to: > http://www.BPDCentral.com > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted June 1, 2005 Report Share Posted June 1, 2005 I think b/c in a sense she discounted your feelings. You said you " feel " molested, not that you said you " were " molested. I get very upset, just like you, when someone discounts my feelings or my reality. Now just the other day when my nada came up and hugged me while I was trying to even move away from her, she hugged me anyway and I said " Get off of me! " Strangely, that is a reaction some people have who have been molested. Now I was not molested by her, anyway, but it's a similar reaction and I don't exactly know all the details about why, but we have those types of shared reactions sometimes with people who have been physically molested; I think it's b/c our boundaries were practically molested - oh, let me change the word, breeched, run over, whatever. Theresa > Hey guys, > I'm having a very hard time dealing with something my therapist said > today. In fact I'm so very angry at her right now that I am posting > this in order to calm down. I say (quite often, apparently) that > sometimes when nada contacts me, or when there is the threat of nada > knowing what I'm doing, I feel " molested " . She said I shouldn't use > that word because it's disrespecting the experience of those who have > actually been " molested. " I was apologetic at the time, because I > don't want to disrespect anybody, but now I am fuming. I have never > been furious with her before, but I am FURIOUS. Why am I so furious? > > --Ch > > > > > > > Send questions and/or concerns to ModOasis-owner > " Stop Walking on Eggshells, " a primer for non-BPs, can be ordered via 1-888-35-SHELL () and for the table of contents, go to: > http://www.BPDCentral.com > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted June 1, 2005 Report Share Posted June 1, 2005 Well, I am angry too. I don't like the fact that your therapist said you were being disrespectful. She should know you better than that. I suggest that at your next session you discuss this with her further. Therapists make mistakes too. Take care, Sylvia > Hey guys, > I'm having a very hard time dealing with something my therapist said > today. In fact I'm so very angry at her right now that I am posting > this in order to calm down. I say (quite often, apparently) that > sometimes when nada contacts me, or when there is the threat of nada > knowing what I'm doing, I feel " molested " . She said I shouldn't use > that word because it's disrespecting the experience of those who have > actually been " molested. " I was apologetic at the time, because I > don't want to disrespect anybody, but now I am fuming. I have never > been furious with her before, but I am FURIOUS. Why am I so furious? > > --Ch Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted June 1, 2005 Report Share Posted June 1, 2005 Well, I am angry too. I don't like the fact that your therapist said you were being disrespectful. She should know you better than that. I suggest that at your next session you discuss this with her further. Therapists make mistakes too. Take care, Sylvia > Hey guys, > I'm having a very hard time dealing with something my therapist said > today. In fact I'm so very angry at her right now that I am posting > this in order to calm down. I say (quite often, apparently) that > sometimes when nada contacts me, or when there is the threat of nada > knowing what I'm doing, I feel " molested " . She said I shouldn't use > that word because it's disrespecting the experience of those who have > actually been " molested. " I was apologetic at the time, because I > don't want to disrespect anybody, but now I am fuming. I have never > been furious with her before, but I am FURIOUS. Why am I so furious? > > --Ch Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted June 2, 2005 Report Share Posted June 2, 2005 Hi, Being molested physically is not the only form of molestation. A fair percentage of therapists are pretty screwed up themselves. I remember a line in a book that read: put a space in therapist; the rapist. I thought that was funny. I finally found a therapist I liked but once she made a comment to me that I found a little hateful/hurtful. She was talking about a group session and how a lady wanted to attend but was reluctant. I said " Tell her we are harmless. " And she said " Are you? Maybe you are not harmless " and just stared at me like she wanted to hurt me. It was the end of the session and I just left but it bothered me. I didn't go back for several weeks and never mentioned it to her. I wish I would have because I was so criticized as a child that I have a hard time hearing something that feels like a personal attack. Of course I just let it go like a good KO. I remember it made me think she thought I was a bad person, but then I thought well, I guess maybe I am not harmless, who is really? I am certainly not that evolved to make such a claim. I think a good therapist is someone who is supportive but not to the point to where they are just agreeing with everything because we are paying them. I wonder if they resent having to agree with their patients. Sometimes I imagine they would like to " go off " and tell us what they really think because I get the feeling it isn't always what they are saying. Anyway, if it happened today I would say something. I have since learned to trust my feelings much more than I did back then. > Hey guys, > I'm having a very hard time dealing with something my therapist said > today. In fact I'm so very angry at her right now that I am posting > this in order to calm down. I say (quite often, apparently) that > sometimes when nada contacts me, or when there is the threat of nada > knowing what I'm doing, I feel " molested " . She said I shouldn't use > that word because it's disrespecting the experience of those who have > actually been " molested. " I was apologetic at the time, because I > don't want to disrespect anybody, but now I am fuming. I have never > been furious with her before, but I am FURIOUS. Why am I so furious? > > --Ch Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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