Re: Rough Day - Wendie

[Guest guest]

Thank you ! Before all the evaluations began back in October of

last year I used to meditate all the time. Somewhere along the way I

told myself I was too busy or I needed to use that time to do

research. We're going on vacation next week so hopefully I'll be

relaxed & recharged when we return home.

Wendie

>

> > Last night & today has been rough on me.  I try not to let myself

> > feel sorry for Sky or myself, but the past 48 hours I've been

> > struggling.  I still feel like we've been swept away into an

> > alternate universe.  It's been a month and a half since we got

Sky's

> > diagnosis & I still feel as lost as ever.  I'm struggling over

what

> > therapies & treatments to start Sky on & trying to figure out how

> > we'll pay for it.  She's getting O.T. & S.T. through E.I. & we're

> > staring Tomatis in May.  I'm pretty sure we're going to try

> > Floortime, but I keep going back and forth if we should do ABA. 

> > Everytime I read about ABA at first I think it all sounds great &

> > then other times I think it will be hell for her considering her

> > sensory issues.  We found out this week our insurance company

isn't

> > paying for all of our Ped. Neuro. visits which we originally

thought

> > was covered.  It doesn't look like the insurance company is going

to

> > be much help paying for anything she may need in the future.  I

> > contaced SSI today & we make too much money to get any kind of

> > benefits.  I called Medicaid too & got the same response.  My

husband

> > makes too much money, but not enough to pay for all these extras. 

> > We're refinancing our house next week to get a lower interest

rate &

> > to pay off one of our cars.  We're planning on putting the extra

> > money toward Sky's therapies, but it's still not enough.

> >

> > Today after I made the phone calls to SSI & Medicaid I decided to

> > take a break from all this.  My girls were napping so I decided to

> > fix me a soda & read for awhile.  I was standing in front of the

> > kitchen sink & tears just poured out of my eyes from nowhere.  I

> > cried so hard I couldn't stand & just sank to the floor.  I prayed

> > over & over for God to make me strong and to help me be the

person my

> > girls need.  I just don't feel like I can do all of this. 

> >

> > Sky's twin sister, Rain,  has been acting out for the past couple

of

> > weeks.  We all know why.  She's feeling like Sky is getting lots

of

> > attention because of all the theapy we're doing with her.  I

usually

> > include Rain in the therapy sessions, but I think she can sense

it's

> > all about Sky.  I took Rain to the movies yesterday & let Sky stay

> > with our sitter.  I'm hoping I'll be able to schedule at least one

> > day a week to do something with Rain by ourselves.  I know this

won't

> > fix how she feels, but I don't know what else to do.  I'm

constantly

> > hugging & kissing my girls all day & telling them I love them.  I

> > don't want either one of them to feel neglected or that they

aren't

> > loved.  I'm just feeling overwhelmed by this diagnosis & what

comes

> > with it.  Not to mention all the regular everyday things on top of

> > that.  I feel like I'm loosing my grip & everything is suffering

> > because I can't cope.  I don't know how the rest of you do it

all! 

> > I'm sorry this is so long & yes I know it sounds like a big old

pitty

> > party, but I just need to share these feelings with someone who

> > understands.  If you got this far thanks for listening.

> > Wendie

> >

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