Friendships/Self Sabotaging/Depression

March 15, 2001

Robin,

My son is

9 and also has very few friends (he has one friend now after much work in

school group therapy). Before Carson

was diagnosed he was getting very depressed and we could not figure out

why. Having no friends has played

a big part of his depression. He

also self-sabotages himself a lot.

If he does get a friend, he works to ruin the friendship. We have had to glue back together some

of his friendships. Boy, parenting

is hard!!

I also

pray that your son does find ways to make friends. One good friend is better than 500 fair weather friends!

Madsen

emilymadsen@...

Reflections

I was thinking back to when my son was

quite young. When he was 1 1/2 I bought him new shoes. I took him to a good

shoe store and they did a professional job of fitting him. After we put the new

shoes on him he wouldn't put his foot down. He would keep one foot in the air

and cry. The clerk assured me that they fit. Now I know that it was the change

that bothered him, not the shoes. His feet grew very quickly and often needed

new shoes. He adjusted as the old shoes would hurt his feet. As he got older

and the growth slowed down he was very upset when I wanted to buy shoes because

his wore out. He had never experienced that before. He finally gave in and let

me buy him new shoes. He now is the proud owner of 3 pairs of shoes. This is a

miracle. Each has a specific use, but atleast he can change shoes now.

I was talking to his teacher today and he was amazed at his

progress since the begining of the school year. Each new developmental stage

brings new problems. It is so easy to see the problems and forget the progress

that each problem represents. My son is noticing the other kids around him and

is getting upset that he has no friends. He is becoming more aware of others

feelings towards him. Last year it was difficult to get him to notice the other

kids. It broke my heart that he is upset that he has difficulty with

friendship. But as I said atleast he is more aware of the world around him.

I pray that God opens my eyes to continue to notice the small

stuff.

-Robin

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