<Feeling fine? You obviously need medication

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Glenn Risley" <Feeling fine? You obviously need medicationThe makers of Normallix would like you to take a moment and do the> > following quiz. It could change your life:> >> >1. Do you find that some days you want to lie in bed, and other days> > you get up feeling refreshed and can't wait to start the day?> >> >2. Have you ever, after working a gruelling eight or nine hours at your> > place of employment, come home feeling exhausted?> >> >3. Do you find that you go to the bathroom, and then, several hours> > later, have to go again?> >> >4. When you are lost in the middle of the woods and are being chased by> > a large bear, do you feel overwhelmed by anxiety?> >> >5. Do you ever keep reading the newspaper, even when your spouse is> > talking to you, and then have to ask: "What did you say?"> >> >If you answered yes to any of these questions, maybe you need to speak> > to your doctor about Normallix, the new prescription medication for> > people who don't have anything particularly wrong with them.> >> >Do you see your friends taking medication every day to combat> > heartburn?> >> >Are more and more of your adult friends taking drugs because they find> > it hard to pay attention for sustained periods?> >> >Is just about everyone you know taking something to level out his or> > her moods?> >> >Are you tired of the guy in the next cubicle bragging about what he was> > able to do the night before after taking one of those little blue> > pills?> >> >And don't you feel left out that you're not on a prescription?> >> >That's why there's Normallix.> >> >Just because you're not showing any signs of acid reflux disease,> > erectile dysfunction, attention deficit disorder, mood swings and> > anxiety, or even hair loss, is no reason that you shouldn't be on> > something.> >> >Normallix is designed with you in mind.> >> >Just one Normallix a day will keep your life exactly the way it is now> > and, once you've been on it for two or more weeks, you'll be convinced> > that if you stop, all hell will break loose.> >> >Normallix, of course, is not for everyone.> >> >You should not take Normallix if you raise elephants in your backyard,> > have large green scales on more than 90 per cent of your body, sneeze> > from any orifice other than your nose, wish that someone would make a> > movie of the life of Manley, or have ratatouille more than three> > times a day.> >> >There are some side effects. When you are prescribed Normallix, the> > share price of the drug conglomerate that produces Normallix may go> up,> > and dividends to shareholders may increase, which means they will be> > able to buy more things, which is good for the economy.> >> >As well, the chief executives of the company that makes Normallix will> > receive huge bonuses, and maybe even have a little money left over to> > develop other new pharmaceutical products that, 10 years ago, no one> > even knew we needed.> >> >And, finally, Normallix may cause diarrhea, abdominal cramps and> >constipation, but then, really, what doesn't?> >> >Your drug plan may not yet cover Normallix, but that's no reason not to> > get it.> >> >Your drug plan doesn't cover food, either, but you buy that, don't you?> >> >Should you subsequently determine, through the guidance of your> > personal physician, that you need a prescription for one of the other> > conditions described above, you can still take Normallix.> >> >Normallix has been developed not to interact with other medications.> > That's because, to the best of our knowledge, it has no active> > ingredients.> >> >That's what makes it one of the safest medications available today.> >> >So, if you've been feeling left out of the pharmaceutical revolution,> > consider Normallix.> >> >Just one a day, although, if you feel like it, you can take more.> >> >> >-----------------------------------------------------------------------> ---------> >> >Linwood Barclay's column appears Monday, Friday and Saturday. E-mail> > him at> >> >lbarclay@...> > > > > > >---Outgoing mail is certified Virus Free.Checked

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