Re:inability to accept gifts-Hope

[Guest guest]

Hi Hope

Thanks for the response. Sometimes it takes an objective viewpoint

to understand whats going on. . . guess I still have a lot

of " issues " . I happened to be reading parts of UBM. Funny thing is

queens don't accept gifts well, they're never good enough. That made

me feel bad. I think my mom is a Hermit/Queen. Daughters of Queens

usually have waif tendencies which I definately see in myself, not

feeling entitled so it was confusing to read the gift thing under

Queens. I think you're right about the hypervigilance thing. Maybe

now that I'm more aware of what's going on, I'll be able to deal

better. Thanks, cntbreathe

> Sounds to me like perfectionism. If it's not " perfect " ,

> it's not good enough. And of course any ko is hypervigilant

> enough to notice every single little detail about something

> -- which makes it easy to find something " wrong " with just

> about everything. Choosing not to use you money for

> something you don't approve of (the unethical things the

> artist was doing with proceeds from his art) is cool, but

> the larger picture is that your husband caught on

> (correctly) that you like the art and he bought you

> something in the hopes that you'd like it. Too bad

> perfectionism reared its ugly head and got in the way of

> you letting your husband please you...

>

> Hope

>

>