Ready to chuck ABA...need wisdom...need encouragement...need good drugs

[Guest guest]

Oh, my God, I'm so sicking of singing the same old sad song. My son

will be five next month. We have been doing ABA/VB for over two years.

He is basically non-verbal. We have tried many different approaches but

he hates to work and I think I've killed our program. We've been using

cards and objects for a while now. I've been so intent on trying to get

language out of him that I'm probably screwing it and him all up. He

does pretty well on a few mands, I say few cause there's hardly anything

he ever wants. He can echo if he wants to but I'm sure he has apraxia

as well. He has the ability to memorize and by that I mean auditory

wise, in that he does well with IV skills. But that's simply a rote

memorization. He has no spontaneous language other than, " give me chip,

give me juice, swing. " What does he like? Just to perservate on

movies. Not the least bit interested in animation on TV because he

can't rewind or fast forward. I know...take movies away. I've tried on

different occasions but I always break down. I have two daughters, six

and three. They are EXTREMELY DEMANDING (I know that's my fault). My

husband works all the time so I am essentially parenting on my own. He

sees them maybe two hours per day on a good day. We have a small retail

business and I do the books for it. I'm also trying to start a

foundation to pay for all this craziness. We've gone so far in debt

because in addition to the huge ABA bills with tutors and consultants,

we do lots of biomedical treatments, chelation, FGF therapy, etc. I've

spent a college education in the last two years. I'm sick of telling my

girls we can't afford this or that. I'm stressed out to the max and

I've even been on depressants for over a year. How do you all deal with

no progress? He has improved since he was diagnosed at two but very

little. He's still not even cognitively at a two year old. Has he

improved enough that I can justify $40,000. gone and my life miserable.

I'm not the kind of person to give up because I could never live with

myself if I did, but what do you do when a program is just not reaching

your kid? He has no imaginative play and only chews on toys so

floortime doesn't really seem to be a great option either. He would be

happy in a world of total video vegetation. Sometimes I really envy

those parents who put their kids in school and that's it. No ABA, no

diet, no supplements, no blood draws, no injections, just plain ignorant

bliss. Don't get me wrong...I'm not giving up on the biomedical because

I really believe personally that you need that in order to get through

to teach. But it all gets so exhausting. I'm tired of paying my tutors

to go off and do something fun somewhere with him so that they'll be

tied with reinforcement. It doesn't work when it comes to going back to

work. It's hard for me to go off and do the fun things with him unless

I still pay someone because my girls are always demanding all my

attention.

I guess that's it for the ranting. I know I don't have it nearly as bad

as some but I'm just so frustrated and burnt out and he's not even five

yet. How does everyone deal with no progress and the thought that your

child may be like this forever? Again, I am referring to a child who is

very low functioning. Even though you love them like crazy, how do you

accept that?

Thanks,

Penny