Guest guest Posted December 31, 2004 Report Share Posted December 31, 2004 You are right. My nada was very ambivalence to her children. I remember a film called 'Gaslighting' with Ingmar Bergmann. The film showed impressive how destructive gaslighting can be to (sane) people. Happy New Year, everyone. Gerard > > Hi KOs, > > My younger brother used the word " gaslighting " to describe nada > recently (maybe he's finally getting it???). I've seen the term > before but I looked it up again. Basically gaslighting is when > someone you trust (or you're supposed to trust) forces you to accept > their version of reality, even when you know it's wrong. It's a form > of brainwashing to control others, to force them to be dependent > without question on what you say. > > It's definitely what my nada does, and why my perspective is so > skewed. She'd often do it purposely, change her mind to test us, > make sure she still controlled our reality ( " No, the sky isn't blue, > it's green. No wait, it's purple. Now what color is the sky? (hint: > it's not purple and you'll be in BIG trouble if you say it is) " ). > > Apparently nada attacked my younger brother and he yelled at her to > stop. She started to cry and asked him why he was so abusive towards > her. Later she wrote up a " contract " outlining the things she would > no longer allow him to do to her. I have no doubt she'll make him > sign it. > > It's interesting (and very sad) to witness nada pull the same junk > on my younger brothers that she did to me, now that I'm out of the > house and able to see it better. It just confirms what I already > knew about her, that she's vindictive, controlling, and resentful. I > just worry about my younger brother, who is still living there. He > reports being unable to stop shaking after fights like those. > Everybody is begging him to leave, but he just can't seem to do it > (he's 23, so he can move out). > > I've decided that nada will have no part in my life for the > forseeable (and maybe distant) future. I tried thinking about > contacting her again, but I just have no desire whatsoever to let > that junk back into my life. She can have her anger and bitterness. > I want peace. And if that means never speaking to her again, so be > it. > > Happy New Year, everyone! > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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