Accountability?

[Guest guest]

Hi everyone, thanks for all your words of encouragement! I started

reading " Understanding the Borderline Mother " last night, wow! I

wish I had known of it sooner than now. But I'm grateful there are

just resources out there to help us. If you have read it, you're

familiar with the 4 kinds of mothers described - I realized nada is

mostly a " Queen " , with some " Witch " characteristics as well, pretty

scary. It also discusses the " all-good " and " all-bad " child and it

helped me understand the roles my brother and I have been

(unwittingly) playing all these years. But there is still a lot I

don't understand. BP is, from my understanding, supposedly a kind

of psychological " response " that the brain has to various stimuli in

a person's past and present. It sounds as though it is shaped more

by life experiences than by chemistry, although that seems to play a

role as well. So can and should we realistically hold BP's

accountable for their actions? I think yes, mostly. I am reading

things where BP's say " I wanted to stop (lying, freaking out,

whatever)but I couldn't... " , things like that. Are they at fault or

is the disease? Not that I am looking to place blame, but there is

no way nada will EVER accept responsibility for her actions. I mean,

this is the same woman who threw a lamp at me for wanting to leave

the house when I was 16. I want to forgive and let it go, I guess

I'm still working through the anger of it all.

Thanks everyone for listening.

Mel