Guest guest Posted May 11, 2005 Report Share Posted May 11, 2005 Hi everyone, thanks for all your words of encouragement! I started reading " Understanding the Borderline Mother " last night, wow! I wish I had known of it sooner than now. But I'm grateful there are just resources out there to help us. If you have read it, you're familiar with the 4 kinds of mothers described - I realized nada is mostly a " Queen " , with some " Witch " characteristics as well, pretty scary. It also discusses the " all-good " and " all-bad " child and it helped me understand the roles my brother and I have been (unwittingly) playing all these years. But there is still a lot I don't understand. BP is, from my understanding, supposedly a kind of psychological " response " that the brain has to various stimuli in a person's past and present. It sounds as though it is shaped more by life experiences than by chemistry, although that seems to play a role as well. So can and should we realistically hold BP's accountable for their actions? I think yes, mostly. I am reading things where BP's say " I wanted to stop (lying, freaking out, whatever)but I couldn't... " , things like that. Are they at fault or is the disease? Not that I am looking to place blame, but there is no way nada will EVER accept responsibility for her actions. I mean, this is the same woman who threw a lamp at me for wanting to leave the house when I was 16. I want to forgive and let it go, I guess I'm still working through the anger of it all. Thanks everyone for listening. Mel Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted May 11, 2005 Report Share Posted May 11, 2005 > .... So can and should we realistically hold BP's > accountable for their actions? I think yes, mostly. .....> Mel ****YES, YES, YES! In fact, I believe that the only way someone with BPD can get better is if they are held accountable and they also want to make the situation better. Neither of these things seem to happen very often, however. As long as the BP has someone to enable them, or someone they can control, their interest in changing their behavior is non-existant. However, it is also better for us if we respect ourselves enough to not accept inappropriate behaviour from a BP. Sylvia Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted May 11, 2005 Report Share Posted May 11, 2005 > .... So can and should we realistically hold BP's > accountable for their actions? I think yes, mostly. .....> Mel ****YES, YES, YES! In fact, I believe that the only way someone with BPD can get better is if they are held accountable and they also want to make the situation better. Neither of these things seem to happen very often, however. As long as the BP has someone to enable them, or someone they can control, their interest in changing their behavior is non-existant. However, it is also better for us if we respect ourselves enough to not accept inappropriate behaviour from a BP. Sylvia Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Join the conversation
You are posting as a guest. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.
Note: Your post will require moderator approval before it will be visible.