Nada's answer to my letter

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Vix wrote:

>Most of what i said in my letter has blatantly gone right over her

head >and

>bypassed the normal processing part of her brain, which i suspected

>would be the

>case but it feels better for me having done it. I doubt she has even

>bothered

>to read the explanation of BPD that i enclosed with it though which

is >a shame

>as thought she might just have a hint of identifying with it. She's a

>lost

>cause i reckon.

Yes, I think all of it went right over her head. She probably only

took in enough to see what a brat you are!! LOL. Seriously,BPs just

can't see anything wrong with them. The way they split themselves it

is a matter of survival to them to remain right and good. I think

that is the reason so few get treatment and the ones who try end up

abandoning treatment. They don't trust ANYONE and don't believe their

problems lie with themselves. It the whole rest of the world that is

crazy in their view. They are victims of their own disease and turn

around and try to victimize everyone close to them in their lives.

I told my nada directly how I felt. She denied every point I had. I

wasn't surprised and it didn't change her, but I know what you mean

when you say YOU feel better having said it. It was a big step for me

toward letting go of the feeling of guilt and responsibility for her

happiness. I am proud of you for having the courage to state your

feelings. Your letter was very well put. Move on now, if you can and

know you deserve better treatment than she can give. You have a right

to be happy and have a life free of guilt, pain, and upset. Sadly,

the only way to be happy, sometimes, is to separate from the source of

your unhappiness.

I have tried to find the quote someone else posted here. I loved it.

Can't find it so I'll paraphrase the idea in it. (If anyone out there

has it, please post it again.) It says life is a theatre and you are

the actor. But you have to be careful who you let sit on the front row

seats. Only people who make you feel good and elevate you should be

there. Many people are better if loved from afar, in the balcony of

your theatre. You have to remove them from the front row. " Anyway

that's not nearly as concise and clever as the original statement, but

the idea rung true to me and has helped me.

Don't feel guilty for stating the truth. Even though it is unheard by

your nada, it is still the truth. Know that you are of worth. Live a

healthy, full life for the important people in your life and for you!!

Dee