Re: nada destroying things

[Guest guest]

Re destroying things--I told my good friend the list was having this

discussion, and she wrote how the first time she left home for a

significant period of time, her nada destroyed all of her school

records and all the stories she had written. It seems the pattern

is that nadas want to destroy the things dearest to us--our school

records, our stories if we write, our favorite dolls, wedding

dresses, musical instruments. Perhaps the reason is an attempt to

annihilate evidence that we are separate entities from them? My

nada's insults were most often designed along the lines of complete

annhilation--you do not exist, you are not valid. So maybe the

destruction of our things is to try to get rid of evidence we

exist. Especially that we exist separately from them, and that we

want to be away from them.

For those of you who've been saying your nada hates you or no--I

don't think it's helpful to think that way. I don't think nadas

have the capacity to love or hate. They only have the capacity to

be obsessed about themselves and try to force their children to

behave in ways that satisfy that obsesssion. The discussion about

the toys only makes it hit home again--these people are NOT sane.

So it doesn't make sense to feel bad that nada 'hates' you or not.

When nada says 'I hate you', it doesn't mean the same thing as if

you or I would say it. It only means something along the lines of,

you didn't do act xyz that I obsessively believe would prove you are

not a separate person from me.

Charlie

[Guest guest]

Re destroying things--I told my good friend the list was having this

discussion, and she wrote how the first time she left home for a

significant period of time, her nada destroyed all of her school

records and all the stories she had written. It seems the pattern

is that nadas want to destroy the things dearest to us--our school

records, our stories if we write, our favorite dolls, wedding

dresses, musical instruments. Perhaps the reason is an attempt to

annihilate evidence that we are separate entities from them? My

nada's insults were most often designed along the lines of complete

annhilation--you do not exist, you are not valid. So maybe the

destruction of our things is to try to get rid of evidence we

exist. Especially that we exist separately from them, and that we

want to be away from them.

For those of you who've been saying your nada hates you or no--I

don't think it's helpful to think that way. I don't think nadas

have the capacity to love or hate. They only have the capacity to

be obsessed about themselves and try to force their children to

behave in ways that satisfy that obsesssion. The discussion about

the toys only makes it hit home again--these people are NOT sane.

So it doesn't make sense to feel bad that nada 'hates' you or not.

When nada says 'I hate you', it doesn't mean the same thing as if

you or I would say it. It only means something along the lines of,

you didn't do act xyz that I obsessively believe would prove you are

not a separate person from me.

Charlie

[Guest guest]

Re destroying things--I told my good friend the list was having this

discussion, and she wrote how the first time she left home for a

significant period of time, her nada destroyed all of her school

records and all the stories she had written. It seems the pattern

is that nadas want to destroy the things dearest to us--our school

records, our stories if we write, our favorite dolls, wedding

dresses, musical instruments. Perhaps the reason is an attempt to

annihilate evidence that we are separate entities from them? My

nada's insults were most often designed along the lines of complete

annhilation--you do not exist, you are not valid. So maybe the

destruction of our things is to try to get rid of evidence we

exist. Especially that we exist separately from them, and that we

want to be away from them.

For those of you who've been saying your nada hates you or no--I

don't think it's helpful to think that way. I don't think nadas

have the capacity to love or hate. They only have the capacity to

be obsessed about themselves and try to force their children to

behave in ways that satisfy that obsesssion. The discussion about

the toys only makes it hit home again--these people are NOT sane.

So it doesn't make sense to feel bad that nada 'hates' you or not.

When nada says 'I hate you', it doesn't mean the same thing as if

you or I would say it. It only means something along the lines of,

you didn't do act xyz that I obsessively believe would prove you are

not a separate person from me.

Charlie

[Guest guest]

Charlie,

In my mothers case, I am sorry, but I cannot agree with you. My mother

threatened & then tried to kill me each & every time she told me that she

hated me. I know that my mother is incapable of loving me or perhaps she is

incapable of loving anyone. But her hatred toward me is absolutely bonifide

vicious & vindictive. She has wanted to get rid of me since the day she

found out that I had been conceived. And she has done nothing but prove it

almost my entire life. I say almost because she didn't dare act like a nada

around her family. They could have & would have had her locked away in an

institution forever. She has enough brains to know when to show her butt &

when not to. I figure if she can control her rages for months on end while

living around her people, then she knows exactly what she is doing when she

decides not to control it.

Debbie

Re: nada destroying things

> Re destroying things--I told my good friend the list was having this

> discussion, and she wrote how the first time she left home for a

> significant period of time, her nada destroyed all of her school

> records and all the stories she had written. It seems the pattern

> is that nadas want to destroy the things dearest to us--our school

> records, our stories if we write, our favorite dolls, wedding

> dresses, musical instruments. Perhaps the reason is an attempt to

> annihilate evidence that we are separate entities from them? My

> nada's insults were most often designed along the lines of complete

> annhilation--you do not exist, you are not valid. So maybe the

> destruction of our things is to try to get rid of evidence we

> exist. Especially that we exist separately from them, and that we

> want to be away from them.

>

> For those of you who've been saying your nada hates you or no--I

> don't think it's helpful to think that way. I don't think nadas

> have the capacity to love or hate. They only have the capacity to

> be obsessed about themselves and try to force their children to

> behave in ways that satisfy that obsesssion. The discussion about

> the toys only makes it hit home again--these people are NOT sane.

> So it doesn't make sense to feel bad that nada 'hates' you or not.

> When nada says 'I hate you', it doesn't mean the same thing as if

> you or I would say it. It only means something along the lines of,

> you didn't do act xyz that I obsessively believe would prove you are

> not a separate person from me.

>

> Charlie

>

>

>

> Send questions and/or concerns to ModOasis-owner

> " Stop Walking on Eggshells, " a primer for non-BPs, can be ordered via

1-888-35-SHELL () and for the table of contents, go to:

> http://www.BPDCentral.com

>

>

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

Charlie,

In my mothers case, I am sorry, but I cannot agree with you. My mother

threatened & then tried to kill me each & every time she told me that she

hated me. I know that my mother is incapable of loving me or perhaps she is

incapable of loving anyone. But her hatred toward me is absolutely bonifide

vicious & vindictive. She has wanted to get rid of me since the day she

found out that I had been conceived. And she has done nothing but prove it

almost my entire life. I say almost because she didn't dare act like a nada

around her family. They could have & would have had her locked away in an

institution forever. She has enough brains to know when to show her butt &

when not to. I figure if she can control her rages for months on end while

living around her people, then she knows exactly what she is doing when she

decides not to control it.

Debbie

Re: nada destroying things

> Re destroying things--I told my good friend the list was having this

> discussion, and she wrote how the first time she left home for a

> significant period of time, her nada destroyed all of her school

> records and all the stories she had written. It seems the pattern

> is that nadas want to destroy the things dearest to us--our school

> records, our stories if we write, our favorite dolls, wedding

> dresses, musical instruments. Perhaps the reason is an attempt to

> annihilate evidence that we are separate entities from them? My

> nada's insults were most often designed along the lines of complete

> annhilation--you do not exist, you are not valid. So maybe the

> destruction of our things is to try to get rid of evidence we

> exist. Especially that we exist separately from them, and that we

> want to be away from them.

>

> For those of you who've been saying your nada hates you or no--I

> don't think it's helpful to think that way. I don't think nadas

> have the capacity to love or hate. They only have the capacity to

> be obsessed about themselves and try to force their children to

> behave in ways that satisfy that obsesssion. The discussion about

> the toys only makes it hit home again--these people are NOT sane.

> So it doesn't make sense to feel bad that nada 'hates' you or not.

> When nada says 'I hate you', it doesn't mean the same thing as if

> you or I would say it. It only means something along the lines of,

> you didn't do act xyz that I obsessively believe would prove you are

> not a separate person from me.

>

> Charlie

>

>

>

> Send questions and/or concerns to ModOasis-owner

> " Stop Walking on Eggshells, " a primer for non-BPs, can be ordered via

1-888-35-SHELL () and for the table of contents, go to:

> http://www.BPDCentral.com

>

>

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

Charlie,

In my mothers case, I am sorry, but I cannot agree with you. My mother

threatened & then tried to kill me each & every time she told me that she

hated me. I know that my mother is incapable of loving me or perhaps she is

incapable of loving anyone. But her hatred toward me is absolutely bonifide

vicious & vindictive. She has wanted to get rid of me since the day she

found out that I had been conceived. And she has done nothing but prove it

almost my entire life. I say almost because she didn't dare act like a nada

around her family. They could have & would have had her locked away in an

institution forever. She has enough brains to know when to show her butt &

when not to. I figure if she can control her rages for months on end while

living around her people, then she knows exactly what she is doing when she

decides not to control it.

Debbie

Re: nada destroying things

> Re destroying things--I told my good friend the list was having this

> discussion, and she wrote how the first time she left home for a

> significant period of time, her nada destroyed all of her school

> records and all the stories she had written. It seems the pattern

> is that nadas want to destroy the things dearest to us--our school

> records, our stories if we write, our favorite dolls, wedding

> dresses, musical instruments. Perhaps the reason is an attempt to

> annihilate evidence that we are separate entities from them? My

> nada's insults were most often designed along the lines of complete

> annhilation--you do not exist, you are not valid. So maybe the

> destruction of our things is to try to get rid of evidence we

> exist. Especially that we exist separately from them, and that we

> want to be away from them.

>

> For those of you who've been saying your nada hates you or no--I

> don't think it's helpful to think that way. I don't think nadas

> have the capacity to love or hate. They only have the capacity to

> be obsessed about themselves and try to force their children to

> behave in ways that satisfy that obsesssion. The discussion about

> the toys only makes it hit home again--these people are NOT sane.

> So it doesn't make sense to feel bad that nada 'hates' you or not.

> When nada says 'I hate you', it doesn't mean the same thing as if

> you or I would say it. It only means something along the lines of,

> you didn't do act xyz that I obsessively believe would prove you are

> not a separate person from me.

>

> Charlie

>

>

>

> Send questions and/or concerns to ModOasis-owner

> " Stop Walking on Eggshells, " a primer for non-BPs, can be ordered via

1-888-35-SHELL () and for the table of contents, go to:

> http://www.BPDCentral.com

>

>

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

Debbie,

I'm so sorry you had to go through that! I can't imagine what it's

like to have a raging nada. I so admire everyone on this list who

has lived through it, and tried to make the best of life anyway.

I am off now to a Father's Day function. It's very hard to go

because I'm angry, and also I know that nada will be triggered.

First, she must notice I have been avoiding her company. Second,

this is her family, whom she has all convinced I've abandoned THEM,

not her, because I am conceited and hateful and think I'm above

them. Third, I am attending this day for my father, and she always

freaks out when there is any display of affection between the two of

us. I feel guitly because I have no concern for nada at all. And I

feel angry at my father for insisting that I go through this (and

also for putting himself through it--why doesn't he just admit she's

crazy and divorce her?)

That's me today. LOL to all of you going through father's days out

there. I wish you peace and positive energy.

Charlie

> Charlie,

> In my mothers case, I am sorry, but I cannot agree with you. My

mother

> threatened & then tried to kill me each & every time she told me

that she

> hated me. I know that my mother is incapable of loving me or

perhaps she is

> incapable of loving anyone. But her hatred toward me is absolutely

bonifide

> vicious & vindictive. She has wanted to get rid of me since the

day she

> found out that I had been conceived. And she has done nothing but

prove it

> almost my entire life. I say almost because she didn't dare act

like a nada

> around her family. They could have & would have had her locked

away in an

> institution forever. She has enough brains to know when to show

her butt &

> when not to. I figure if she can control her rages for months on

end while

> living around her people, then she knows exactly what she is doing

when she

> decides not to control it.

> Debbie

> Re: nada destroying things

>

>

> > Re destroying things--I told my good friend the list was having

this

> > discussion, and she wrote how the first time she left home for a

> > significant period of time, her nada destroyed all of her school

> > records and all the stories she had written. It seems the

pattern

> > is that nadas want to destroy the things dearest to us--our

school

> > records, our stories if we write, our favorite dolls, wedding

> > dresses, musical instruments. Perhaps the reason is an attempt

to

> > annihilate evidence that we are separate entities from them? My

> > nada's insults were most often designed along the lines of

complete

> > annhilation--you do not exist, you are not valid. So maybe the

> > destruction of our things is to try to get rid of evidence we

> > exist. Especially that we exist separately from them, and that

we

> > want to be away from them.

> >

> > For those of you who've been saying your nada hates you or no--I

> > don't think it's helpful to think that way. I don't think nadas

> > have the capacity to love or hate. They only have the capacity

to

> > be obsessed about themselves and try to force their children to

> > behave in ways that satisfy that obsesssion. The discussion

about

> > the toys only makes it hit home again--these people are NOT sane.

> > So it doesn't make sense to feel bad that nada 'hates' you or

not.

> > When nada says 'I hate you', it doesn't mean the same thing as if

> > you or I would say it. It only means something along the lines

of,

> > you didn't do act xyz that I obsessively believe would prove you

are

> > not a separate person from me.

> >

> > Charlie

> >

> >

> >

> > Send questions and/or concerns to ModOasis-owner

> > " Stop Walking on Eggshells, " a primer for non-BPs, can be

ordered via

> 1-888-35-SHELL () and for the table of contents, go to:

> > http://www.BPDCentral.com

> >

> >

> >

> >

> >

[Guest guest]

> Debbie,

>

> I'm so sorry you had to go through that! I can't imagine what it's

> like to have a raging nada. I so admire everyone on this list who

> has lived through it, and tried to make the best of life anyway.

>

> I am off now to a Father's Day function. It's very hard to go

> because I'm angry, and also I know that nada will be triggered.

*** Yuck!!! I would dread it also if I were in your shoes.

I am now soooo glad that Mother divorced all of her husbands. That gives me

the greatest excuse in the world not to go to mothers. I didn't visit her,

call her, or send her a card for mothers day or her birthday back in April.

> First, she must notice I have been avoiding her company. Second,

> this is her family, whom she has all convinced I've abandoned THEM,

> not her, because I am conceited and hateful and think I'm above

> them.

I would make a liar out of her & be so sweet that M & Ms melt in both hands

within 3 seconds. Then I would

Third, I am attending this day for my father, and she always

> freaks out when there is any display of affection between the two of

> us. I feel guitly because I have no concern for nada at all. And I

> feel angry at my father for insisting that I go through this (and

> also for putting himself through it--why doesn't he just admit she's

> crazy and divorce her?)

>

> That's me today. LOL to all of you going through father's days out

> there. I wish you peace and positive energy.

>

> Charlie

>

>

>

> > Charlie,

> > In my mothers case, I am sorry, but I cannot agree with you. My

> mother

> > threatened & then tried to kill me each & every time she told me

> that she

> > hated me. I know that my mother is incapable of loving me or

> perhaps she is

> > incapable of loving anyone. But her hatred toward me is absolutely

> bonifide

> > vicious & vindictive. She has wanted to get rid of me since the

> day she

> > found out that I had been conceived. And she has done nothing but

> prove it

> > almost my entire life. I say almost because she didn't dare act

> like a nada

> > around her family. They could have & would have had her locked

> away in an

> > institution forever. She has enough brains to know when to show

> her butt &

> > when not to. I figure if she can control her rages for months on

> end while

> > living around her people, then she knows exactly what she is doing

> when she

> > decides not to control it.

> > Debbie

> > Re: nada destroying things

> >

> >

> > > Re destroying things--I told my good friend the list was having

> this

> > > discussion, and she wrote how the first time she left home for a

> > > significant period of time, her nada destroyed all of her school

> > > records and all the stories she had written. It seems the

> pattern

> > > is that nadas want to destroy the things dearest to us--our

> school

> > > records, our stories if we write, our favorite dolls, wedding

> > > dresses, musical instruments. Perhaps the reason is an attempt

> to

> > > annihilate evidence that we are separate entities from them? My

> > > nada's insults were most often designed along the lines of

> complete

> > > annhilation--you do not exist, you are not valid. So maybe the

> > > destruction of our things is to try to get rid of evidence we

> > > exist. Especially that we exist separately from them, and that

> we

> > > want to be away from them.

> > >

> > > For those of you who've been saying your nada hates you or no--I

> > > don't think it's helpful to think that way. I don't think nadas

> > > have the capacity to love or hate. They only have the capacity

> to

> > > be obsessed about themselves and try to force their children to

> > > behave in ways that satisfy that obsesssion. The discussion

> about

> > > the toys only makes it hit home again--these people are NOT sane.

> > > So it doesn't make sense to feel bad that nada 'hates' you or

> not.

> > > When nada says 'I hate you', it doesn't mean the same thing as if

> > > you or I would say it. It only means something along the lines

> of,

> > > you didn't do act xyz that I obsessively believe would prove you

> are

> > > not a separate person from me.

> > >

> > > Charlie

> > >

> > >

> > >

> > > Send questions and/or concerns to ModOasis-owner

> > > " Stop Walking on Eggshells, " a primer for non-BPs, can be

> ordered via

> > 1-888-35-SHELL () and for the table of contents, go to:

> > > http://www.BPDCentral.com

> > >

> > >

> > >

> > >

> > >

[Guest guest]

> Debbie,

>

> I'm so sorry you had to go through that! I can't imagine what it's

> like to have a raging nada. I so admire everyone on this list who

> has lived through it, and tried to make the best of life anyway.

>

> I am off now to a Father's Day function. It's very hard to go

> because I'm angry, and also I know that nada will be triggered.

*** Yuck!!! I would dread it also if I were in your shoes.

I am now soooo glad that Mother divorced all of her husbands. That gives me

the greatest excuse in the world not to go to mothers. I didn't visit her,

call her, or send her a card for mothers day or her birthday back in April.

> First, she must notice I have been avoiding her company. Second,

> this is her family, whom she has all convinced I've abandoned THEM,

> not her, because I am conceited and hateful and think I'm above

> them.

I would make a liar out of her & be so sweet that M & Ms melt in both hands

within 3 seconds. Then I would

Third, I am attending this day for my father, and she always

> freaks out when there is any display of affection between the two of

> us. I feel guitly because I have no concern for nada at all. And I

> feel angry at my father for insisting that I go through this (and

> also for putting himself through it--why doesn't he just admit she's

> crazy and divorce her?)

>

> That's me today. LOL to all of you going through father's days out

> there. I wish you peace and positive energy.

>

> Charlie

>

>

>

> > Charlie,

> > In my mothers case, I am sorry, but I cannot agree with you. My

> mother

> > threatened & then tried to kill me each & every time she told me

> that she

> > hated me. I know that my mother is incapable of loving me or

> perhaps she is

> > incapable of loving anyone. But her hatred toward me is absolutely

> bonifide

> > vicious & vindictive. She has wanted to get rid of me since the

> day she

> > found out that I had been conceived. And she has done nothing but

> prove it

> > almost my entire life. I say almost because she didn't dare act

> like a nada

> > around her family. They could have & would have had her locked

> away in an

> > institution forever. She has enough brains to know when to show

> her butt &

> > when not to. I figure if she can control her rages for months on

> end while

> > living around her people, then she knows exactly what she is doing

> when she

> > decides not to control it.

> > Debbie

> > Re: nada destroying things

> >

> >

> > > Re destroying things--I told my good friend the list was having

> this

> > > discussion, and she wrote how the first time she left home for a

> > > significant period of time, her nada destroyed all of her school

> > > records and all the stories she had written. It seems the

> pattern

> > > is that nadas want to destroy the things dearest to us--our

> school

> > > records, our stories if we write, our favorite dolls, wedding

> > > dresses, musical instruments. Perhaps the reason is an attempt

> to

> > > annihilate evidence that we are separate entities from them? My

> > > nada's insults were most often designed along the lines of

> complete

> > > annhilation--you do not exist, you are not valid. So maybe the

> > > destruction of our things is to try to get rid of evidence we

> > > exist. Especially that we exist separately from them, and that

> we

> > > want to be away from them.

> > >

> > > For those of you who've been saying your nada hates you or no--I

> > > don't think it's helpful to think that way. I don't think nadas

> > > have the capacity to love or hate. They only have the capacity

> to

> > > be obsessed about themselves and try to force their children to

> > > behave in ways that satisfy that obsesssion. The discussion

> about

> > > the toys only makes it hit home again--these people are NOT sane.

> > > So it doesn't make sense to feel bad that nada 'hates' you or

> not.

> > > When nada says 'I hate you', it doesn't mean the same thing as if

> > > you or I would say it. It only means something along the lines

> of,

> > > you didn't do act xyz that I obsessively believe would prove you

> are

> > > not a separate person from me.

> > >

> > > Charlie

> > >

> > >

> > >

> > > Send questions and/or concerns to ModOasis-owner

> > > " Stop Walking on Eggshells, " a primer for non-BPs, can be

> ordered via

> > 1-888-35-SHELL () and for the table of contents, go to:

> > > http://www.BPDCentral.com

> > >

> > >

> > >

> > >

> > >