abbreviations

[Guest guest]

Plze direct me the best place to find the abbreviations used by the

group. Thank you so much for posting; finding and reading the items

on this site has been very reassuring for me. Take care, dekas

[Guest guest]

dekas103 wrote:

> Plze direct me the best place to find the abbreviations used by the

> group.

<<

ABBREVIATIONS: The WTO lists have abbreviations and their own

vernacular. Words commonly used include:

BP: person in your life who has BPD or whom YOU THINK has BPD

traits.

BPD: Borderline Personality Disorder.

BPSO: BP Significant Other. XBPSO=Ex BPSO (this has many

variations) including uBPSO (undiagnosed BPSO).

DBT: Dialectic Behavioral Therapy, a cognitive-behavioral

therapy that has been successful in the treatment of BPD. Also

see 'Therapies' at www.BPDCentral.com website.

DEAR: Communication technique used to set limits and ask for

things. See at www.BPDCentral.com (press 'Library').

Defense Mechanisms: projection, denial, splitting, and

rationalization.

Distortion campaign: a deliberate attempt by someone to smear

your name because they have split you as all bad. They feel

justified and may tell lies or truly believe their distortions.

May or may not involve the law.

DSM-IV: Diagnostic and Statistical Manual, edition 4,

published by the American Psychiatric Association. Used for

diagnostic and insurance purposes.

Fada: Used by some of the NonBP adult children of BPDs on the

Oasis lists to refer to their BP father who was not-a-father in

the true sense of the word.

Fleas: Unhealthy behavioral responses learned while living

with a BP.

FOG: Fear, Obligation and Guilt, which make you susceptible to

emotional blackmail.

FOO: Family Of Origin (includes one's original mother, father,

and siblings).

Hoovered: after the vacuum cleaner, to be sucked back into the

relationship for another ride on the BPD rollercoaster.

Intermittent reinforcement: when good outcomes happen on an

unpredictable schedule, thereby reinforcing (ie, rewarding)

behavior. Examples: when the BP sometimes acts 'normal', when

you sometimes don't observe limits (this is rewarding to the BP).

KO: Kid Of [a BP].

L & L: The booklet titled " Love and Loathing " .

Lasagna therapy: A type of therapy whereby lasagna is dumped

over the head of a BP who constantly criticizes the way one

eats--so much so one won't eat with the family anymore. Salad

dumping in the lap is an adjunct part of this therapy. Currently

under double-blind test trials at several prestigious

universities. <wink>

Light Bulb Effect: the realization that you're not crazy and

BPD may explain the other person's behavior.

LOL: Laughing Out Loud.

Mirroring: Not absorbing the BP's projections and reflecting

them back to the BP.

Nada: Used by some of the NonBP adult offspring of BPDs on the

'Oasis' lists to refer to their BP mother who was not-a-mother

in the true sense of the word.

NPD: Narcissistic Personality Disorder.

NonBP: Person who is affected by someone else's BPD -- eg, you

and your family.

OCD: Obsessive Compulsive Disorder.

OZ: the " Twilight Zone " feeling of not knowing what is real

because of the BP's distortions.

PAS: Parental Alienation Syndrome: When a parent deliberately

and repeatedly makes the other parent the " bad guy " and the

child believes the accusations (such as " Daddy doesn't love

you. " ). A form of child abuse.

Projection: When a person denies certain feelings by

attributing them to someone else.

PUVAS and DEAR: Communication techniques you can download at

the www.BPDCentral.com library. DEAR is about setting personal

limits and PUVAS is about ONE of the communication techniques

you can use to communicate with BPs. Other techniques in SWOE

are defusing and walking away.

Rationalization: Good-sounding reasons but not necessarily

truthful.

ROFLOL: Rolling on the floor laughing out loud.

SO: Significant Other.

Splitting: Black and white thinking, practiced by both Nons

and BPs.

Sponging: Absorbing the BP's projections and bad feelings. (See

" mirroring " )

STB-ex: Soon-to-be ex [husband, wife, or SO]

SWOE: The book " Stop Walking on Eggshells. "

SWOEW: The workbook to SWOE.

T: Therapist.

Trigger: not a horse, but something that takes a person back

to an earlier trauma. They respond to the current situation and

also relive the past one. For example, a BP's criticism about

your clothes triggers you because your father did the same thing.

UBM: Book titled " Understanding the Borderline Mother " by

Ann Lawson (2000).

>>