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Trish,

I'm going to reply to your post in pieces. Here's the first.

You said;

>Let me start with an example Vermeulen (the speaker) told:

> leads some kind of small self supporting discussion group of ASD

>people. In other rooms there are other groups of ASD. Now there is a break

>and everyone goes to the hall for a coffee and a chat. After a while,

>wanted to get started again because he was behind schedule. So he said : " I

>want to start earlier, please my group, come with me. " The noticed one

>man of his group, B, was in another room talking with someone and B didn't

>hear 's call. So raised his voice and called: " B, CAN YOU COME

>AND JOIN US? "

>B came to , all in panic. Asking : " What did I do that made you

>angry with me???? " While only wanted to get his attention so he had

>raised his voice.

>

>What I try to tell you with this example is, that I just want to understand

>how communication 'works' with ASD. sent signals, but they didn't work

>for B. In fact, well meant communication signals, were hurting B.

This is an excellent example. I didn't relate to it at first, then it hit

me. My wife is always sighing and making faces. I never seem to know why

she sighs. Is she mad at me? At something else? Is she tired? Or is she

just relaxing? I always have to ask her and she behaves like i should know.

I always thought it was her. Maybe at least some of the time, it is really

me not picking up the subtle signals. (help) Same with her faces; mad at

me, thinking or tired... i have to ask. I have learned not to jump to

conclusions. The example itself is something common to my experience. I

hear my name called, my stomach drops, i wonder if i'm in trouble.

Then why do i think i'm reading people okay? I'm always picking up

something and i'm comfortable with what i do discern. I feel pretty clear

about what i don't understand too . Am i that far off the truth? Maybe i

am. I don't miss signals entirely but i can be fooled easily(i just thought

that was normal) . I have alot to learn yet about this condition.

Ric Ferris

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Trish,

I'm going to reply to your post in pieces. Here's the first.

You said;

>Let me start with an example Vermeulen (the speaker) told:

> leads some kind of small self supporting discussion group of ASD

>people. In other rooms there are other groups of ASD. Now there is a break

>and everyone goes to the hall for a coffee and a chat. After a while,

>wanted to get started again because he was behind schedule. So he said : " I

>want to start earlier, please my group, come with me. " The noticed one

>man of his group, B, was in another room talking with someone and B didn't

>hear 's call. So raised his voice and called: " B, CAN YOU COME

>AND JOIN US? "

>B came to , all in panic. Asking : " What did I do that made you

>angry with me???? " While only wanted to get his attention so he had

>raised his voice.

>

>What I try to tell you with this example is, that I just want to understand

>how communication 'works' with ASD. sent signals, but they didn't work

>for B. In fact, well meant communication signals, were hurting B.

This is an excellent example. I didn't relate to it at first, then it hit

me. My wife is always sighing and making faces. I never seem to know why

she sighs. Is she mad at me? At something else? Is she tired? Or is she

just relaxing? I always have to ask her and she behaves like i should know.

I always thought it was her. Maybe at least some of the time, it is really

me not picking up the subtle signals. (help) Same with her faces; mad at

me, thinking or tired... i have to ask. I have learned not to jump to

conclusions. The example itself is something common to my experience. I

hear my name called, my stomach drops, i wonder if i'm in trouble.

Then why do i think i'm reading people okay? I'm always picking up

something and i'm comfortable with what i do discern. I feel pretty clear

about what i don't understand too . Am i that far off the truth? Maybe i

am. I don't miss signals entirely but i can be fooled easily(i just thought

that was normal) . I have alot to learn yet about this condition.

Ric Ferris

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Re: Re Myself

>>>>>As you expressed the experiment here i don't see the conclusions

reached as necessary. How did they know that the sounds made by the non ASD kids

were the same? A very important and highly debateable question. What do they

mean by language? Again, critical in reaching these conclusions.<<<<<

I think it is at least pretty remarkable that EVERY mother could tell whatALL

kids were expressing; except for what the ASD kids expressed. And that the

expressions of the ASD kids each was only recognized by its own mother....

Being a mama, you know :o), I was very much TOUCHED by this unbelievable bound

between the mother and her ASD child (much 'more' than NT). I like to believe

that this explains why the AS persons I know (IRL or on lists) or having read

their books, talk very highly about their mamas.

In fact, when my AS friends write about their Mama, they always spell it with

capital M. :o)

Maybe I was SO much into THIS 'mama thing', that I didn't question the

REASONS Vermeulen (the speaker) brought this up.

I am curious......

I have bought his book 'Autism and Emotions'. Now it will take me some time to

read it (busy busy busy :o)). But when I am DONE with it, and figured out your

questions, I will get back to you. For YOUR questions are now MY questions TOO.

I am not trying to get out of this so.....

Is it a deal that I get back to you later about this?

Or would you just like to forget me having confused you with this all?

I am sorry to have no answers to your questions.

Because you brought it up, I start to wonder the same....

I just think your questions and doubts are RIGHTLY.

That is one of the reasons I don't like the visitors of these kind of

meetings related approx. 95% NT and 5% ASD.

If there could be more ASD, what a great conversation and discussion it would

be.... My..... :o)

I have confused you with me telling you about what is said on the

symposium. And now I am confused too by your questions :o)

And THAT is just OKAY Ric. Because you have shown me that I just must not take

such notifications and remarks, giving by a professional, even though it is

Vermeulen, for granted !!

Trish

>> Het postadres van het autisme-spectrum: http://spectrumpost.zzn.com

________________________________________________________________

Ontvang uw eigen Web-based E-mail service bij http://www.zzn.com

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