Guest guest Posted November 3, 2004 Report Share Posted November 3, 2004 I see that I overlooked this. Hello again. > I'd like to hear a " Hi " from everyone on this list, I'd like to know > 1 - Your sex, > 2 - Your age, > 3 - If you had a BPD father and/or a BPD mother, > 4 - The age of your BPD parent(s), > 5 - Whether that parent is still alive, and > 6 - How long ago did you first learn about BPD. I am female and about to be 35. I believe that my mother is (or was when I was growing up) a fairly high-functioning BP. She also had something going on that seemed to be cyclical: it's been suggested that she might be bipolar. It makes sense from what I remember that she might be both, with the episodes of BP symptoms coming during her depressive phases. That's my own untrained speculation. I would be interested to hear from anyone with experience of the combination. She is now in her mid-sixties and from what I understand (I have had very little contact with her in the last 15 years) her behavior has settled down somewhat. I'm not planning to get re-engaged with her myself, but am currently dealing with some issues in trying to make that decision clear to members of my family who have chosen to stay in contact with her. It's difficult to do this without getting into a kind of war of competing narratives that serves no real purpose. I actually first heard of BPD in a true-crime book that I picked up in someone's guest bedroom in I think 1988. It was a story about a BPD woman who murdered her children -- I don't remember the title, I just remember starting to look at it casually (I don't habitually read true-crime) and being immediately rivetted by the description of this woman's thought processes, which rang all manner of bells. Not too long after that, I stopped interacting with her, and I've really been focussed on my own stuff in the intervening time, so I never purued it. Now, however, I find that I need some tools to deal with these family issues, which come up more as my grandparents age and so on. A friend mentioned SWOE to me last month. Possibly in my previous post I made inappropriate use of the word " should " . If so, my apologies. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted November 4, 2004 Report Share Posted November 4, 2004 Hi Ivy_crown! I have a NADA with both traits, BPD and Bipolar. She has a diagnose, but I am not in contact with her either, so I don't really know what it is. I too have interpreted what she has, and asked about it from our crises centre and my former therapist, so it seems what I found out fits. I am not at all an expert like Edith is, (I found out about all of this just last Christmas) but I fit here and have talked to people with bipolar parents too, it has ment a lot for me. BM Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted November 5, 2004 Report Share Posted November 5, 2004 Hi, Before I start talking about me, I wanted to tell you that I fully support your decision not to see your mother. I think everyone has to make that decision for themselves and noone should try to convince you out of it. Personally, I am on " a break " from seeing my nada. I dont' honestly know where that will end up. So here's my 411: I'm 22 years old, and a female. My mother is the BP in my life. She is 53 years old. She's still alive. I learned about BPD a few months ago from my counseler. She told me my mother might have it after I recounted some of the things my mother has said/done in the past. My counseler helped me find the strength to stop talking to my mom for a while. I have wrestled with a lot of FOG, but I guess it helps that my mom had the most intense rage she's had in years right before I stopped talking to her. So I use that memory as a check against the FOG. The FOG is getting heavier as the holiday's near because I'm sure she's very sad that she'll be alone this Christmas. (She has driven most everyone else out of her life, except her sisters who live on the other side of the country...) A couple of other things about me - I am a college student although I am filing for a medical leave from school to focus on counseling. I got into therapy when my world came crashing down around me and I realized how truly unhappy I am and have been. I went into counseling to deal with childhood sexual abuse and have discovered that I have just as much hurt from my nada. So I am dealing with both at the same time....Needless to say I'd rather focus on this and continue my college education when I have a better handle on my mental health. Thanks for your interest. > > I see that I overlooked this. Hello again. > > > > I'd like to hear a " Hi " from everyone on this list, I'd like to know > > 1 - Your sex, > > 2 - Your age, > > 3 - If you had a BPD father and/or a BPD mother, > > 4 - The age of your BPD parent(s), > > 5 - Whether that parent is still alive, and > > 6 - How long ago did you first learn about BPD. > > I am female and about to be 35. I believe that my mother is (or was > when I was growing up) a fairly high-functioning BP. She also had > something going on that seemed to be cyclical: it's been suggested > that she might be bipolar. It makes sense from what I remember that > she might be both, with the episodes of BP symptoms coming during her > depressive phases. That's my own untrained speculation. I would be > interested to hear from anyone with experience of the combination. > > She is now in her mid-sixties and from what I understand (I have had > very little contact with her in the last 15 years) her behavior has > settled down somewhat. I'm not planning to get re-engaged with her > myself, but am currently dealing with some issues in trying to make > that decision clear to members of my family who have chosen to stay > in contact with her. It's difficult to do this without getting into > a kind of war of competing narratives that serves no real purpose. > > I actually first heard of BPD in a true-crime book that I picked up > in someone's guest bedroom in I think 1988. It was a story about a > BPD woman who murdered her children -- I don't remember the title, I > just remember starting to look at it casually (I don't habitually > read true-crime) and being immediately rivetted by the description of > this woman's thought processes, which rang all manner of bells. > > Not too long after that, I stopped interacting with her, and I've > really been focussed on my own stuff in the intervening time, so I > never purued it. Now, however, I find that I need some tools to deal > with these family issues, which come up more as my grandparents age > and so on. A friend mentioned SWOE to me last month. > > Possibly in my previous post I made inappropriate use of the > word " should " . If so, my apologies. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted November 5, 2004 Report Share Posted November 5, 2004 Hi, Before I start talking about me, I wanted to tell you that I fully support your decision not to see your mother. I think everyone has to make that decision for themselves and noone should try to convince you out of it. Personally, I am on " a break " from seeing my nada. I dont' honestly know where that will end up. So here's my 411: I'm 22 years old, and a female. My mother is the BP in my life. She is 53 years old. She's still alive. I learned about BPD a few months ago from my counseler. She told me my mother might have it after I recounted some of the things my mother has said/done in the past. My counseler helped me find the strength to stop talking to my mom for a while. I have wrestled with a lot of FOG, but I guess it helps that my mom had the most intense rage she's had in years right before I stopped talking to her. So I use that memory as a check against the FOG. The FOG is getting heavier as the holiday's near because I'm sure she's very sad that she'll be alone this Christmas. (She has driven most everyone else out of her life, except her sisters who live on the other side of the country...) A couple of other things about me - I am a college student although I am filing for a medical leave from school to focus on counseling. I got into therapy when my world came crashing down around me and I realized how truly unhappy I am and have been. I went into counseling to deal with childhood sexual abuse and have discovered that I have just as much hurt from my nada. So I am dealing with both at the same time....Needless to say I'd rather focus on this and continue my college education when I have a better handle on my mental health. Thanks for your interest. > > I see that I overlooked this. Hello again. > > > > I'd like to hear a " Hi " from everyone on this list, I'd like to know > > 1 - Your sex, > > 2 - Your age, > > 3 - If you had a BPD father and/or a BPD mother, > > 4 - The age of your BPD parent(s), > > 5 - Whether that parent is still alive, and > > 6 - How long ago did you first learn about BPD. > > I am female and about to be 35. I believe that my mother is (or was > when I was growing up) a fairly high-functioning BP. She also had > something going on that seemed to be cyclical: it's been suggested > that she might be bipolar. It makes sense from what I remember that > she might be both, with the episodes of BP symptoms coming during her > depressive phases. That's my own untrained speculation. I would be > interested to hear from anyone with experience of the combination. > > She is now in her mid-sixties and from what I understand (I have had > very little contact with her in the last 15 years) her behavior has > settled down somewhat. I'm not planning to get re-engaged with her > myself, but am currently dealing with some issues in trying to make > that decision clear to members of my family who have chosen to stay > in contact with her. It's difficult to do this without getting into > a kind of war of competing narratives that serves no real purpose. > > I actually first heard of BPD in a true-crime book that I picked up > in someone's guest bedroom in I think 1988. It was a story about a > BPD woman who murdered her children -- I don't remember the title, I > just remember starting to look at it casually (I don't habitually > read true-crime) and being immediately rivetted by the description of > this woman's thought processes, which rang all manner of bells. > > Not too long after that, I stopped interacting with her, and I've > really been focussed on my own stuff in the intervening time, so I > never purued it. Now, however, I find that I need some tools to deal > with these family issues, which come up more as my grandparents age > and so on. A friend mentioned SWOE to me last month. > > Possibly in my previous post I made inappropriate use of the > word " should " . If so, my apologies. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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