computer stupid

[Guest guest]

From: Egyud

I THOUGHT I WAS COMPUTER STUPID UNTIL READING THIS.

   To any among you who believe you are technologically challenged. 

"you ain't seen nuthin yet." This is an excerpt from a Wall StreetJournal

 article:

 1. Compaq is considering changing the command "Press Any Key" to

"Press Return Key" because of the flood of calls asking where the "Any"

 key is.

2. AST technical support had a caller complaining that her mouse

was hard to control with the dust cover on. The cover turned out

to be the plastic bag the mouse was packaged in.

3. Another Dell customer called in to say he couldn't get his 

computer to fax anything. After 40 minutes of troubleshooting, the

 technician discovered the man was trying to fax a piece of paper

by holding it in front of the monitor screen and hitting the

"Send" key.

4. Yet another Dell customer called to complain that his keyboard

no longer worked. He had cleaned it by filling up his tub with

soap and water and soaking the keyboard for a day, then removing

all the keys and cleaning them individually.

5. A Dell technician received a call from a customer who was

enraged because his computer had told him he was "Bad and an 

Invalid." The techexplained that the computer's "bad command" and "invalid"

 response shouldn't be taken personally.

6. A confused caller to IBM was having trouble printing documents

and told the tech that the computer had said it couldn't find the 

printer. The user had also tried turning the computer screen to

face the printer but that the computer still couldn't "see" the printer.

7. An exasperated caller to Dell Computer Tech Support couldn't

get her new Dell Computer to turn on. After ensuring the computer was

plugged in, the technician asked her what happened when she pushed

the power button. Her response, "I pushed and pushed on this foot 

pedal and nothing happened." The "foot pedal" turned out to be the

computer's mouse.

8. Another customer called Compaq tech support to say her brand

new computer wouldn't work. She said she unpacked the unit,

plugged it in and nothing happened. The tech asked what happened

when she pressed the

 power switch. At that point she asked, "What power switch?"

9. Another IBM customer had trouble installing software and rang

for support. "I put in the first disk, and that was OK. It said to

put in the second disk, and I had some problems with the disk.

When it said toput in the third disk, I couldn't even fit it in ........" The

user hadn't realized the "Insert Disk 2" implied to "Remove Disk 1" first.

10. A story from a Novell netWire SysOp:

Caller: Hello, is this Tech Support?"

 Tech: "Yes, it is. How may I help you?"

Caller: The cup holder on my PC is broken and I am within my

warranty period. How do I go about getting that fixed?"

Tech: I'm sorry, but did you say a cup holder?

Caller: Yes, it's attached to the front of my computer.

Tech: "Please excuse me if I seem a bit stumped. It's because I

am. Did you receive this as part of a promotional at a trade show?

How did you get this cup holder? Does it have any trademark on 

it?"

Caller: "It came with my computer. I don't know anything about a

 promotional. It just has '4X' on it."

At this point, the Tech Rep had to mute the caller because he

couldn't help it. He was laughing too hard. The caller had been using the

load drawer of the CD-ROM drive as a cup holder and snapped it off the

drive.

 11. A woman called the Canon help desk with a problem with her printer.

The tech asked her if she was "running it under windows." The 

woman responded, "No, my desk is next to the door, but that is a  good point

 because the man sitting in the cubicle next to me is under a  window

and his printer is working fine,"

12. AND, last but not least:

Tech Support: OK, Bob, let's press the control and escape keys at

the same time. That brings up a task list in the middle of the screen.

Now, click on the letter "P" to bring up the Program Manager."

Customer: "I don't have a 'P'."

Tech Support: "On your keyboard, Bob."

Customer: "What do you mean?"

Tech Support: "'P' on your keyboard, Bob."

Customer: "I'm not going to do that!"

 

 

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Later,

Liz