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receiving letters/gifts

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thinking about what people are posting and i think these BPs are

using last ditch efforts for attention. like, they can't call or at

least won't get us to answer the phone, so they leave messages. but

we don't call back. so they have their sick teammates come after us.

we ignore it. the mail is different - how many people can resist

destroying a letter/package without opening it? it's a sick way to

manipulate the very HUMAN trait of curiousity!!

i am so freaking tired of hypervigilance. i get stress headaches

and, like someone wrote, am scared of strangers. the phone and the

mailbox feel like enemies. but you know, i am done all that. i am

not opening anything she sends. no way. it is like a bomb tied with

a bow!!!

i will not take her calls. i will delete her voicemail. i will not

open letters. i will not accept contact - in ANY form - until i am

good and ready. and if i am NEVER good and ready, that is FINE with

me.

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