Re: Re: for those w/experience, hypersensitive?

[Guest guest]

>

> I don't think you are hypersensitive. Your nada is intruding in

> every aspect of your life. She seems to be trying to take your place

> in everything. Just when you find a new friend, there she is taking

> over again. IMO, she is mean and evil spirited, and is using

> religion as a cover to convince everyone that she is kind and

> loving. That is some of the difficulty of BPD, those outside the

> family usually don't see what is really going on because nadas are so

> good at pretending they are something they aren't.

Yes, tell me about it. That's why I don't want to join those

homeschool groups. I have even decided what I will say to anyone who

asks why I did not, although I doubt they will notice I am missing

except that nada will probably get them to notice.

>

> And I may be paranoid here, but I don't think your nada is giving you

> a truthful representation of the conversations she has with these

> people - or with anyone else. Why doesn't she try to find friends

> her own age, instead of your age? Isn't this the same thing she did

> when you were a teenager?

Well, some of these homeschool parents are pretty close to her age.

Now she was suposed to go with the old fogies (haha) group from church

to go see a show somewhere and be gone tonight from 6 to midnight.

Guess what/ She decides she does not have time to do it. Just last

jnight, though, she was inviting herself over to watch a movie with me

and my daughter. Then at the stables today, I think she tried to be

in hearing distance when she approached me about why I don't want to

invite her over and about how she was told by her therapist to make

friends with other families and yet I get upset about it. I told her

I just don't like her trying to force us to invite her to do anything.

She said she does not want to b/c she does not enjoy only being

invited b/c she feels like she is making me do it. She told my

daughter that her therapist told her to make friends with other

families since she isnt accepted by her own.

Get this one- my daughter's semi-best friend apparently has a ballet

dance tomorrow and invited nada. nada told my daughter today she was

going to this ballet tomorrow. daughter is now semi-sad b/c she

really wonders why her best friend would invite nada but not her.

Nada said, " Oh, it's probably she has a bad memory and forgot. You

know how she is. Even you say you forget important things for

yourself sometimes. " That's just stupid. My daughter said, " I would

not forget to invite my best friend. " Now all this nada acting

innocent stuff is really getting ridiculous. I can't even imagine how

nada has gotten this girl to choose inviting nada over inviting my

daughter. That one is a doozy for me to figure out. I know that

nada has gotten this girl's mother to think I am mean and looney, but

that girl would never turn on my daughter. It does not make sense.

I predict what happens next. Nada will now call and have the girl

call my daughter tomorrow to invite her to the dance. Well, too late.

I told daughter nada would probably do that and I don't think

daughter is interested if her friend has to be reminded to call her to

invite her. This is the girl I am having a hard time getting my

daguther to get to her confirmation next week b/c her mother won't let

daughter come early b/c they have family over. I even emailed the mom

and asked if daughter could come visit us sometime so we could give

her gift in person (she emailed me on my previous email but to this

one I got NO response).

Well, nada must have found out from the mother daughter can't go to

confirmation, so nada called another familiy we know in Pearland and

asked her if daughter could come to their house and they drop daughter

off at the church (even though they have nothing to do with the family

being confirmed or even with this family at all). They apparently

said they would but who knows if nada painted some nasty picture about

me and why daughter can't just ride with her. I told daughter she

has to be prepared if the mom asks why she can't just ride with

grandnada. Daughter said she will just say " family issues " .

> Are you in a really small town? Is it possible to go to another

> church?

well, we go to a different church service on Sundays than nada.

Weekdays is where we are stuck. This religious group nada says she

is going to meetings - that has nothing to do with any church - it's

just a group which I am a member of but can't do anything with bc of

school and work.

>Is there any other way to get nada out of your life?

Can't think of any other ones at the moment.

>

> I know you get exhausted over the thought of selling your house, but,

> with summer coming on, will you have a reprieve from homeschooling?

> Can you use that time to get your house fixed up enough to sell it?

I am just about broke at the moment from fixing the mess in the attic

(the roof was trying to cave in b/c apparently the igmos wholived here

before had about 6 layers of shingles on the roof!) That and

donating a ton of money to Uncle Sam. I don't get to claim daughter

on taxes b/c nada does since daughter has been on my dad's insurance

(which is cheaper a whole lot than having daughter on my insurance).

I am hoping that runs out by next year so I can claim daughter on my

taxes. I do appreciate her being on his insurance, but tax break

would be nice!

> Your nada is making you and your daughter miserable. We can all

> understand that, but there is no way to get your nada to understand

> that. Her illness prevents her from understanding anything except

> that she wants to get her needs met, and she will go to all these

> lengths to do so. And I don't think that is going to change.

Doesn't seem so.

>

> You are drained of energy, and your nada seems to have energy to

> spare. Hmmmm, where do you think she is getting that extra energy

> from?

I guess it's from the energy I was drained of eh?

> If I couldn't keep my nada from intruding in my life, I would get the

> heXX far enough away so that it was no longer a possibility.

>

Right now I am trying to figure out how to get daughter friendly with

the idea of moving. At the moment she absolutely hates the idea. I

even mentioned moving to another state where one of her most favorite

priests has a parish and going to his parish and even finding her a

horse to ride, or moving close to her aunt whom she really really

likes. She still is all mopy about it.

Theresa