decent relationships only after death (WAS: BUG-EYED NADAs at family gatherings)

[Guest guest]

>

> >

> >I remember my brother saying that we

> (siblings) could not have decent relationships with each other

until nada passed away. Well, she passed away and I think he was

right. We no longer have to deal with the constant drama and

destructive competitiveness that nada so selfishly encouraged among

her children. And that is nice.

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,

i actually said the same thing to my friend yesterday - that i will

not have a real relationship with my sister until my nada dies. i

feel bad saying it, but it is true. i am not talking to nada - not

for over a month now (yea!!) - and that means no calls from my

sister. but she lives with nada still, and so it's impossib;e for us

to talk. i am incapable of acting like things are ok, and she is

incapable of acting like she understands. and so, no contact.

my therapist asked me what i would do if nada dies, and i cried to

her because the answer came so quickly - i would be relieved. i

won't be happy, bc i really don't wish death on anyone, and i'm sure

i'd have some wacked-out KO grieving to do. but i would mostly be

sad for my father. as for me, i would feel relief.

am i horrible for wanting that? do other KOs relate to thinking the

only way to a sane relationship with other family members is through

the BPs death?

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