Guest guest Posted April 8, 2003 Report Share Posted April 8, 2003 Hi Kassiane, YOU can obviously pass as NT. You have friends. You are verbal. You are intelligent. My daughter may never know what a friend is. She may never speak. She may always have temper tantrums and show inappropriate behavior. Until you walk in the shoes of someone with a severely autistic child, you have NO RIGHT to say we are wrong to hope for a cure. Margaret Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted April 8, 2003 Report Share Posted April 8, 2003 >I agree with you 100% Kassiane. I hope someday they find a cure but don't push them into being NT. That can lead to stress, stress, stress. >> Not to be rude, but if you hope for a cure, you DONT agree 100% with me. You might agree 90%, but not toally, which is 100%/ I am in favor of progress. I am COMPLETELY anti cure. We aren't sick, we aren\'t broken, we are just differnet. Kassiane *in a pedantic mood this morning* _______________________________________________________________ Get the FREE email that has everyone talking at http://www.mail2world.com Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted April 8, 2003 Report Share Posted April 8, 2003 Hi Kassiane, YOU can obviously pass as NT. You have friends. You are verbal. You are intelligent.>> You dont know any of that. Most of my friends are autistic. I didnt have any even sort of friends till I was in high school. Didnt have REAL friends till I met autistic people. Im not always verbal, and what I say is not always functional. I am intellegent, yes, but there are such holes in my abilities that in some areas I am very nearly " retarded " in the vernacular. >>My daughter may never know what a friend is. She may never speak. She may always have temper tantrums and show inappropriate behavior. Until you walk in the shoes of someone with a severely autistic child, you have NO RIGHT to say we are wrong to hope for a cure.>> I WORK WITH SEVERELY AUTISTIC KIDS. Forget YOUR pain, what about your CHILD'S pain? I stil;l have the occasional meltdown-its called FRUSTRATION, from dealing with this world and the incomprehensible people in it. Like it or not, I know what it IS to BE AUTISTIC. Neurotypical parents CANT know this, the same way we cant know what it is to be NT. ALmost NO adult autistics want a cure. Shouldnt that say something? I hope for a cure for ignorance, not for autism. Ignorance and selfishness cause far more suffering than autism ever did. Kassiane *who is getting mad now* _______________________________________________________________ Get the FREE email that has everyone talking at http://www.mail2world.com Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted April 8, 2003 Report Share Posted April 8, 2003 > Kassiane, YOU can obviously pass as NT. You have friends. You are verbal. > You are intelligent. > > My daughter may never know what a friend is. She may never speak. She may > always have temper tantrums and show inappropriate behavior. Until you walk > in the shoes of someone with a severely autistic child, you have NO RIGHT to say > we are wrong to hope for a cure. > > Margaret While I would say that often people who are at the milder end of the spectrum do not always take into account the difficulties encountered by those at the more severe end of the spectrum, I would have to agree with Kassi in much of what she says. I don't want to 'cure' autism. I don't want to expunge it from the world. To do that would be to lose a lot. There are a lot of wonderful things about the way an autistic mind works. I'm not a parent, and I don't presume to know what parents of autistic children feel. But I would say that to hope to get rid of the autism completely is not only unrealistic, it is, as Kassi says, negating those who have autism. Your daughter may never understand friendship. But she may well have friends. It's been my experience that if children are given the benefit of the doubt and offered enough information to make appropriate decisions, they will choose to be a fried to someone who is different. Your daughter may never speak. But she may learn to sign, or to use PECS, or to type/print her communication. Don't sell her short. Pursue communication first. Your daughter may always have temper tantrums and display inappropriate behaviours. Unless she's being reinforced for the temper tantrums, they are likely not her fault - they are more likely a result of some kind of overload... and as she gets older you may be able to teach her other ways of letting people know that things are getting to be too much for her to deal with. Inappropriate behaviours can also be dealt with in much the same way. Your daughter quite likely understands more than you think. She may not show it, but that is more likely a result of being unable to express herself appropriately. Pursue treatment. Expect her to learn to communicate (not to speak), to get by as independently as possible in the NT world. Just remember, if you don't expect anything of her, she will achieve just that: nothing. There is hope for her future. A good ABA program can teach her the skills she will need to be able to live independently (or in supported group housing) - things like self-care, how to get dressed, how to feed herself; also school and work skills like reading and writing and drawing. A good ABA program will also be able to help her learn to communicate. Try sign first, and if it is too difficult, move to PECS. Begin, of course, with manding, or asking for things. Teach one sign at a time and make sure she can discriminate (that she's asking for the one she really does want) between the first two before adding a third. If she can't tell them apart, move to PECS. Either way, done correctly, promotes the acquisition of speech. Don't look for normalcy. There is no such thing. Look for what is normal for your daughter. Look for what is possible for your daughter. Expect just a little bit more than you really think she will be able to do - she'll surprise you. -Janna ABA Therapist, North Vancouver, BC, Canada BMus, BAPsych **************************************************************************** ***************** " Home is not a place. It is wherever your passion takes you. " - President Sheridan, Babylon 5 (Objects At Rest, Production #522) " Deep calls to deep in the roar of Your waterfall; all of your waves and breakers have swept over me. " - Psalm 42:7 " Rolling river God, little stones are smooth, only once the water passes through... " - Nichole Nordeman, " river god " (wide eyed, 1998) " Nobody else is stronger than I am, today I moved a mountain! I'd like to be your hero, I am a mighty little man! " - Steve Burns, " Mighty Little Man " (Songs For Dustmites, unreleased) http://crosswinds.net/~jlhasd **************************************************************************** ***************** Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted April 8, 2003 Report Share Posted April 8, 2003 << Don't look for normalcy. There is no such thing. Look for what is normal for your daughter. Look for what is possible for your daughter. Expect just a little bit more than you really think she will be able to do - she'll surprise you. >> Leave it to Janna to keep her head, and do so beautifully... good job =) Kassiane _______________________________________________________________ Get the FREE email that has everyone talking at http://www.mail2world.com Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted April 8, 2003 Report Share Posted April 8, 2003 << Don't look for normalcy. There is no such thing. Look for what is normal for your daughter. Look for what is possible for your daughter. Expect just a little bit more than you really think she will be able to do - she'll surprise you. >> Leave it to Janna to keep her head, and do so beautifully... good job =) Kassiane _______________________________________________________________ Get the FREE email that has everyone talking at http://www.mail2world.com Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted April 8, 2003 Report Share Posted April 8, 2003 > << > Don't look for normalcy. There is no such thing. Look for what is normal > for your daughter. Look for what is possible for your daughter. Expect > just a little bit more than you really think she will be able to do - > she'll > surprise you. > >> > Leave it to Janna to keep her head, and do so beautifully... > good job =) > Kassiane Thanks. Writing's always been a strong point for me, regardless of what other issues I've ever had to deal with. Oh, and I didn't write that right away, either. I read it, went and did some more stuff elsewhere, then came back and replied, just as you were writing your OWN response! -Janna ABA Therapist, North Vancouver, BC, Canada BMus, BAPsych **************************************************************************** ***************** " Home is not a place. It is wherever your passion takes you. " - President Sheridan, Babylon 5 (Objects At Rest, Production #522) " Deep calls to deep in the roar of Your waterfall; all of your waves and breakers have swept over me. " - Psalm 42:7 " Rolling river God, little stones are smooth, only once the water passes through... " - Nichole Nordeman, " river god " (wide eyed, 1998) " Nobody else is stronger than I am, today I moved a mountain! I'd like to be your hero, I am a mighty little man! " - Steve Burns, " Mighty Little Man " (Songs For Dustmites, unreleased) http://crosswinds.net/~jlhasd **************************************************************************** ***************** Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted April 8, 2003 Report Share Posted April 8, 2003 > << > Don't look for normalcy. There is no such thing. Look for what is normal > for your daughter. Look for what is possible for your daughter. Expect > just a little bit more than you really think she will be able to do - > she'll > surprise you. >>> > Leave it to Janna to keep her head, and do so beautifully... > good job =) > Kassiane Thanks. Writing's always been a strong point for me, regardless of what other issues I've ever had to deal with. Oh, and I didn't write that right away, either. I read it, went and did some more stuff elsewhere, then came back and replied, just as you were writing your OWN response!>> You mean while I was losing my temper? =/ Kassiane *who still hasnt totally gotten it under control again, as fair warning to all* _______________________________________________________________ Get the FREE email that has everyone talking at http://www.mail2world.com Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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