Guest guest Posted February 28, 2008 Report Share Posted February 28, 2008 I have been giving some thought to the voting that has taken place and I have deicded that it would be unwise to bring ANY members from the Family Forum over here even though the vote was a unanimous " Yes " for a handful of the more understanding members IF I elected to move people over. (Raven and I are undecided on Issue One. I think might be also.) Having them here would mean that some members would have to censor themselves or refrain from saying what is really on their minds. This forum was constructed first and foremost for Aspies and it is important not to lose sight of this. I have realized through advocating that there are too few good resources for Aspies on the web, and so it is important for me to keep this forum open purely for Aspies. The Family Forum will not be closed, but I am going to make some significant changes to it. 1) I am putting a moratorium on the admission of new members. So if anyone wants admittance, a standard " I want to join message may not longer cut it. Someone needs to recommend new members or chances are they will not get in for the time being. 2) I have, in the past, had to prevent the ability of parents to upload files to the files section because someone deleted all of the info I had accumulated on Ivor Lovaas and ABA. That prevention will remain in effect. 3) I am going to attempt to be more professional myself and keep my posting style consistent with the way I present myself at autism conventions. 4) Stunts like parents trying to gain admittance to this forum - without request- when they know they should not will result in banning. 5) I am going to have to start responding to parents the same way I responded to trolls on this forum a while ago...with disciplinary action, in order to maintain forum integrity. Other changes will apply as I dream them up. Tom Administrator Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted March 18, 2008 Report Share Posted March 18, 2008 perhaps you had been too soft hoping for a true exchange of ideas, and hopeful parents with children with needs would be a better grade of people. In truth Tom i was not able to participate because i know other parents and they Do Not have their child's best intrests at heart. Like you, this is a button for me and I get close to semi violent with a parent when i think a child is paying the price for Ego. So I removed myself by not viewing what was written. I have been deciplined for this on another board when I slammed a mom for using her child's disability to sell stuff. I can be intolerant just like anyone else. So I try to keep myself out of the way. In any case I think your moves are sound Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted March 18, 2008 Report Share Posted March 18, 2008 " In truth Tom i was not able to participate because i know other parents and they Do Not have their child's best intrests at heart. Like you, this is a button for me and I get close to semi violent with a parent when i think a child is paying the price for Ego. So I removed myself by not viewing what was written. I have been deciplined for this on another board when I slammed a mom for using her child's disability to sell stuff. I can be intolerant just like anyone else. So I try to keep myself out of the way. In any case I think your moves are sound " I wish you would have told this to the parents in the FF. They need to hear this stuff. When Raven ad I say it, and , they think we are off our trolly. Administrator Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted March 18, 2008 Report Share Posted March 18, 2008 " So please use my words if you wish, but I would need aid to be effective. " Your words stated by you are always best. was going to say something to the parents over there, but she copped out leaving Raven and I to hold the bag, which of course is typical. In some ways I am just as dissatisfied with the Aspie forums as I am with the Family Forum. Administrator Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted March 18, 2008 Report Share Posted March 18, 2008 " So please use my words if you wish, but I would need aid to be effective. " Your words stated by you are always best. was going to say something to the parents over there, but she copped out leaving Raven and I to hold the bag, which of course is typical. In some ways I am just as dissatisfied with the Aspie forums as I am with the Family Forum. Administrator Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted March 18, 2008 Report Share Posted March 18, 2008 " So please use my words if you wish, but I would need aid to be effective. " Your words stated by you are always best. was going to say something to the parents over there, but she copped out leaving Raven and I to hold the bag, which of course is typical. In some ways I am just as dissatisfied with the Aspie forums as I am with the Family Forum. Administrator Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted March 18, 2008 Report Share Posted March 18, 2008 > " My son autistic " , I blurt out again. I can't help myself it is a nervous reaction. Please bear with us a little longer, please don't make my daily tasks any harder. Please don't judge me, roll your eyes, or imagine I am nuts. I am nuts; but not for the reason you think. I am tired and focused on what I have to do to get my day done. I have to speak to my child in a specific scripted way he understands. Although he seems spoiled, he's not. He's always held to the most rigid standard, and he must comply. He never gets away with anything, he is always watched. You know he takes vitamins and supplements(they taste pretty yucky)and B-12 in the butt, and he still has to do what is asked. He has his blood drawn, gets poked and prodded more times than his peers. So if he has 7 of the latest games (man he earned them) he goes to school year round. I am not telling you my life is hard, I am telling you he deserves a break. He is such a brave little soldier, doing everything he is told by everyone. Doctors, nurses, school aides. 20 adults year round may have a hand in that years schooling, (day and night) and he troops through. So my plea and nervousness aren't for me. Please see beyond the behavior. He and I work very hard so you will see a little boy and not a condition. Thanks mimi I wrote this for something else. The b-12 is my hope to stave off psycotropic drugs a bit longer. The B12 calms Ravi's behavior and gets him to relax and attend. Psycotropic drugs would numb his senses, so i avoid them but they have been suggested since he was 3. this round i was told he was a lovely well behaved endearing boy during his 2 year evaluation. That he want to please and comply he just hasn't learned anything at school, oh and they said i needed to be tougher on him at home (tougher!!) well anyway this is what i might sound like, thought I would give you a sample Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted March 18, 2008 Report Share Posted March 18, 2008 > " My son autistic " , I blurt out again. I can't help myself it is a nervous reaction. Please bear with us a little longer, please don't make my daily tasks any harder. Please don't judge me, roll your eyes, or imagine I am nuts. I am nuts; but not for the reason you think. I am tired and focused on what I have to do to get my day done. I have to speak to my child in a specific scripted way he understands. Although he seems spoiled, he's not. He's always held to the most rigid standard, and he must comply. He never gets away with anything, he is always watched. You know he takes vitamins and supplements(they taste pretty yucky)and B-12 in the butt, and he still has to do what is asked. He has his blood drawn, gets poked and prodded more times than his peers. So if he has 7 of the latest games (man he earned them) he goes to school year round. I am not telling you my life is hard, I am telling you he deserves a break. He is such a brave little soldier, doing everything he is told by everyone. Doctors, nurses, school aides. 20 adults year round may have a hand in that years schooling, (day and night) and he troops through. So my plea and nervousness aren't for me. Please see beyond the behavior. He and I work very hard so you will see a little boy and not a condition. Thanks mimi I wrote this for something else. The b-12 is my hope to stave off psycotropic drugs a bit longer. The B12 calms Ravi's behavior and gets him to relax and attend. Psycotropic drugs would numb his senses, so i avoid them but they have been suggested since he was 3. this round i was told he was a lovely well behaved endearing boy during his 2 year evaluation. That he want to please and comply he just hasn't learned anything at school, oh and they said i needed to be tougher on him at home (tougher!!) well anyway this is what i might sound like, thought I would give you a sample Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted March 18, 2008 Report Share Posted March 18, 2008 > " My son autistic " , I blurt out again. I can't help myself it is a nervous reaction. Please bear with us a little longer, please don't make my daily tasks any harder. Please don't judge me, roll your eyes, or imagine I am nuts. I am nuts; but not for the reason you think. I am tired and focused on what I have to do to get my day done. I have to speak to my child in a specific scripted way he understands. Although he seems spoiled, he's not. He's always held to the most rigid standard, and he must comply. He never gets away with anything, he is always watched. You know he takes vitamins and supplements(they taste pretty yucky)and B-12 in the butt, and he still has to do what is asked. He has his blood drawn, gets poked and prodded more times than his peers. So if he has 7 of the latest games (man he earned them) he goes to school year round. I am not telling you my life is hard, I am telling you he deserves a break. He is such a brave little soldier, doing everything he is told by everyone. Doctors, nurses, school aides. 20 adults year round may have a hand in that years schooling, (day and night) and he troops through. So my plea and nervousness aren't for me. Please see beyond the behavior. He and I work very hard so you will see a little boy and not a condition. Thanks mimi I wrote this for something else. The b-12 is my hope to stave off psycotropic drugs a bit longer. The B12 calms Ravi's behavior and gets him to relax and attend. Psycotropic drugs would numb his senses, so i avoid them but they have been suggested since he was 3. this round i was told he was a lovely well behaved endearing boy during his 2 year evaluation. That he want to please and comply he just hasn't learned anything at school, oh and they said i needed to be tougher on him at home (tougher!!) well anyway this is what i might sound like, thought I would give you a sample Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted March 18, 2008 Report Share Posted March 18, 2008 > ok but first read my answering post Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted March 18, 2008 Report Share Posted March 18, 2008 > ok but first read my answering post Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted March 18, 2008 Report Share Posted March 18, 2008 But you were a moderator in Family Forum ... Raven > > perhaps you had been too soft hoping for a true exchange of ideas, and > hopeful parents with children with needs would be a better grade of > people. In truth Tom i was not able to participate because i know > other parents and they Do Not have their child's best intrests at > heart. Like you, this is a button for me and I get close to semi > violent with a parent when i think a child is paying the price for > Ego. So I removed myself by not viewing what was written. I have been > deciplined for this on another board when I slammed a mom for using her > child's disability to sell stuff. I can be intolerant just like anyone > else. So I try to keep myself out of the way. In any case I think > your moves are sound > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted March 18, 2008 Report Share Posted March 18, 2008 But you were a moderator in Family Forum ... Raven > > perhaps you had been too soft hoping for a true exchange of ideas, and > hopeful parents with children with needs would be a better grade of > people. In truth Tom i was not able to participate because i know > other parents and they Do Not have their child's best intrests at > heart. Like you, this is a button for me and I get close to semi > violent with a parent when i think a child is paying the price for > Ego. So I removed myself by not viewing what was written. I have been > deciplined for this on another board when I slammed a mom for using her > child's disability to sell stuff. I can be intolerant just like anyone > else. So I try to keep myself out of the way. In any case I think > your moves are sound > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted March 18, 2008 Report Share Posted March 18, 2008 But you were a moderator in Family Forum ... Raven > > perhaps you had been too soft hoping for a true exchange of ideas, and > hopeful parents with children with needs would be a better grade of > people. In truth Tom i was not able to participate because i know > other parents and they Do Not have their child's best intrests at > heart. Like you, this is a button for me and I get close to semi > violent with a parent when i think a child is paying the price for > Ego. So I removed myself by not viewing what was written. I have been > deciplined for this on another board when I slammed a mom for using her > child's disability to sell stuff. I can be intolerant just like anyone > else. So I try to keep myself out of the way. In any case I think > your moves are sound > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted March 18, 2008 Report Share Posted March 18, 2008 mimi wrote: " what would you suggest. i think it is a potential powdercake. I have no tolerance for well meaning (read self absorbed) damage. People even parents aren't honest with their desires and persuits. I feel very pained at being looked at as sappy or extreamly rigid. I feel for children the way the girl with a boys brain feels for animals. Children being more innocent and potentially dangerous than animals based on their rearing. perhaps they are more of a challange to me and more of a puzzle. But really I end of feeling overbearing, naive, battered and bruised. i also feel people precieve me as authoritative, and in that case I am. I can't turn it off it affects me directly (even with starngers) I feel like i come from another planet when i get on a tirad on supporting a child psycologically, emotionally and seeing things through their eyes) Believe me it is even weirder at my son's school, and my day to day life. So please use my words if you wish, but I would need aid to be effective. " But you agreed to be a moderator in Family Forum ... *sigh* ... Raven Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted March 18, 2008 Report Share Posted March 18, 2008 mimi wrote: " what would you suggest. i think it is a potential powdercake. I have no tolerance for well meaning (read self absorbed) damage. People even parents aren't honest with their desires and persuits. I feel very pained at being looked at as sappy or extreamly rigid. I feel for children the way the girl with a boys brain feels for animals. Children being more innocent and potentially dangerous than animals based on their rearing. perhaps they are more of a challange to me and more of a puzzle. But really I end of feeling overbearing, naive, battered and bruised. i also feel people precieve me as authoritative, and in that case I am. I can't turn it off it affects me directly (even with starngers) I feel like i come from another planet when i get on a tirad on supporting a child psycologically, emotionally and seeing things through their eyes) Believe me it is even weirder at my son's school, and my day to day life. So please use my words if you wish, but I would need aid to be effective. " But you agreed to be a moderator in Family Forum ... *sigh* ... Raven Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted March 18, 2008 Report Share Posted March 18, 2008 mimi wrote: " what would you suggest. i think it is a potential powdercake. I have no tolerance for well meaning (read self absorbed) damage. People even parents aren't honest with their desires and persuits. I feel very pained at being looked at as sappy or extreamly rigid. I feel for children the way the girl with a boys brain feels for animals. Children being more innocent and potentially dangerous than animals based on their rearing. perhaps they are more of a challange to me and more of a puzzle. But really I end of feeling overbearing, naive, battered and bruised. i also feel people precieve me as authoritative, and in that case I am. I can't turn it off it affects me directly (even with starngers) I feel like i come from another planet when i get on a tirad on supporting a child psycologically, emotionally and seeing things through their eyes) Believe me it is even weirder at my son's school, and my day to day life. So please use my words if you wish, but I would need aid to be effective. " But you agreed to be a moderator in Family Forum ... *sigh* ... Raven Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted March 18, 2008 Report Share Posted March 18, 2008 mimi wrote: " ... <snip> ... well anyway this is what i might sound like, thought I would give you a sample. " That sounds fine by me and would have been an excellent post over in Family Forum had you posted it there. *sigh* Raven Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted March 18, 2008 Report Share Posted March 18, 2008 mimi wrote: " ... <snip> ... well anyway this is what i might sound like, thought I would give you a sample. " That sounds fine by me and would have been an excellent post over in Family Forum had you posted it there. *sigh* Raven Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted March 18, 2008 Report Share Posted March 18, 2008 mimi wrote: " ... <snip> ... well anyway this is what i might sound like, thought I would give you a sample. " That sounds fine by me and would have been an excellent post over in Family Forum had you posted it there. *sigh* Raven Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted March 18, 2008 Report Share Posted March 18, 2008 " well anyway this is what i might sound like, thought I would give you a sample " No problem. If you post, write what you please. Administrator Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted March 18, 2008 Report Share Posted March 18, 2008 > But you agreed to be a moderator in Family Forum ... *sigh* ... > > Raven > well i did fearfully, i am sorry i seem to have misrepresented myself. I did desire the protection of the aspie board. in the real world i had been a bit burned out. i went for counseling with a social worker and was recruited to run a group. When i shared my actual feeling i was reprimanded and told, although i was affiliated (a co facilitator) I had no real voice. In hearing parents speak i sometimes don't know what to do because what they seem to be asking me to do is forgive them for doing nothing. I don't know how to do that. Raven you are strong and accomplished and I always feel questioned(what makes you an authority) rings in my head. I returned to school to have the licence to help. to stop having to reprove myself and my intentions. (I don't have what you seem to have) confidence. I know i am right about things but i will explain for years hoping someone will understand and sometimes in the end I find I was misunderstood all along and others agreed but didn't know what i was saying because i was trying so hard to not hurt feelings or point things out. I know i am making little sense. but the other parents scared me. in any case I am trying not to be so timid and inflammatory. maybe you get the idea. mimi Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted March 18, 2008 Report Share Posted March 18, 2008 > But you agreed to be a moderator in Family Forum ... *sigh* ... > > Raven > well i did fearfully, i am sorry i seem to have misrepresented myself. I did desire the protection of the aspie board. in the real world i had been a bit burned out. i went for counseling with a social worker and was recruited to run a group. When i shared my actual feeling i was reprimanded and told, although i was affiliated (a co facilitator) I had no real voice. In hearing parents speak i sometimes don't know what to do because what they seem to be asking me to do is forgive them for doing nothing. I don't know how to do that. Raven you are strong and accomplished and I always feel questioned(what makes you an authority) rings in my head. I returned to school to have the licence to help. to stop having to reprove myself and my intentions. (I don't have what you seem to have) confidence. I know i am right about things but i will explain for years hoping someone will understand and sometimes in the end I find I was misunderstood all along and others agreed but didn't know what i was saying because i was trying so hard to not hurt feelings or point things out. I know i am making little sense. but the other parents scared me. in any case I am trying not to be so timid and inflammatory. maybe you get the idea. mimi Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted March 18, 2008 Report Share Posted March 18, 2008 > But you agreed to be a moderator in Family Forum ... *sigh* ... > > Raven > well i did fearfully, i am sorry i seem to have misrepresented myself. I did desire the protection of the aspie board. in the real world i had been a bit burned out. i went for counseling with a social worker and was recruited to run a group. When i shared my actual feeling i was reprimanded and told, although i was affiliated (a co facilitator) I had no real voice. In hearing parents speak i sometimes don't know what to do because what they seem to be asking me to do is forgive them for doing nothing. I don't know how to do that. Raven you are strong and accomplished and I always feel questioned(what makes you an authority) rings in my head. I returned to school to have the licence to help. to stop having to reprove myself and my intentions. (I don't have what you seem to have) confidence. I know i am right about things but i will explain for years hoping someone will understand and sometimes in the end I find I was misunderstood all along and others agreed but didn't know what i was saying because i was trying so hard to not hurt feelings or point things out. I know i am making little sense. but the other parents scared me. in any case I am trying not to be so timid and inflammatory. maybe you get the idea. mimi Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted March 18, 2008 Report Share Posted March 18, 2008 " I know i am making little sense. but the other parents scared me. in any case I am trying not to be so timid and inflammatory. maybe you get the idea. mimi " Aspies take precedence on the Family Forum, so I would have stepped in had they whaled on you. At any rate, you can post there now as an Aspie. I am toying with the idea of another moderator over there and posted a call for one on that forum with the idea of recruiting a particular person, but right now I think Raven and Cub and I can handle it. Administrator Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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