Re: Honor Thy Parents/ Risk for the children

[Guest guest]

After studying of the function that their children can have for the

bp's/hysterics, one must not hesitate to ask further and to answer

until the bitter end:

Bp's/hysterics form a real risk for their own children and especially

for the boys.

Gerard

>

> Just an opinion. I believe in honoring one's parents. When that

> parent is a BP, God, who is just, doesn't expect a child (of any

age)

> to be a doormat or a punching bag, or a reservoir for toxin. He

loves

> each of us equally and wants happiness for each. But he can't serve

> it up on a platter and I figure he must have known I was strong

enough

> to survive BPD and even heal and have joy. He doesn't want me stuck

> in the quagmire of BPD because that doesn't affect only me, but my

> spouse, my children and my grandchildren. We have the opportunity

and

> right to stop BPD in it's tracks and not send it on to another

> generation. My religious leader once said I had built a good immune

> system against my nada, and to keep it in place. I know he believes

> in " honoring thy parents " . This doesn't mean of course that we have

> permission to be abusive to our parent, but we don't have to feel

> guilty for wanting to be healthy, what ever that takes.

> Dee

[Guest guest]

After studying of the function that their children can have for the

bp's/hysterics, one must not hesitate to ask further and to answer

until the bitter end:

Bp's/hysterics form a real risk for their own children and especially

for the boys.

Gerard

>

> Just an opinion. I believe in honoring one's parents. When that

> parent is a BP, God, who is just, doesn't expect a child (of any

age)

> to be a doormat or a punching bag, or a reservoir for toxin. He

loves

> each of us equally and wants happiness for each. But he can't serve

> it up on a platter and I figure he must have known I was strong

enough

> to survive BPD and even heal and have joy. He doesn't want me stuck

> in the quagmire of BPD because that doesn't affect only me, but my

> spouse, my children and my grandchildren. We have the opportunity

and

> right to stop BPD in it's tracks and not send it on to another

> generation. My religious leader once said I had built a good immune

> system against my nada, and to keep it in place. I know he believes

> in " honoring thy parents " . This doesn't mean of course that we have

> permission to be abusive to our parent, but we don't have to feel

> guilty for wanting to be healthy, what ever that takes.

> Dee

[Guest guest]

Gerard, can you tell me more about the fact that how the BP forms

risk especially for the boys? I have 2 brothers that I think have

more problems that I do.

BM

> >

> > Just an opinion. I believe in honoring one's parents. When that

> > parent is a BP, God, who is just, doesn't expect a child (of any

> age)

> > to be a doormat or a punching bag, or a reservoir for toxin. He

> loves

> > each of us equally and wants happiness for each. But he can't

serve

> > it up on a platter and I figure he must have known I was strong

> enough

> > to survive BPD and even heal and have joy. He doesn't want me

stuck

> > in the quagmire of BPD because that doesn't affect only me, but my

> > spouse, my children and my grandchildren. We have the opportunity

> and

> > right to stop BPD in it's tracks and not send it on to another

> > generation. My religious leader once said I had built a good

immune

> > system against my nada, and to keep it in place. I know he

believes

> > in " honoring thy parents " . This doesn't mean of course that we

have

> > permission to be abusive to our parent, but we don't have to feel

> > guilty for wanting to be healthy, what ever that takes.

> > Dee

[Guest guest]

> Gerard, can you tell me more about the fact that how the BP forms

> risk especially for the boys? I have 2 brothers that I think have

> more problems that I do.

I haven't read anything about this but I have some ideas. I was

subjected to emotional incest. Nada wanted me to be a spouse

substitute, and even a God substitute. I felt violated, and Fada

hated me for replacing him in Nada's affections. Her affections to

me took the form of cruelty because I was not what she wanted me to

be and she was angry at me for my failures.

Her expectations on my sister were not so high. My sister was able

to suck up and get in a lot less trouble than me. She still does

that, even though she is aware that she is enabling Nada. I think

her emotional handicaps are more crippling than mine, but she

accepts them, which I do not.

- Dan

[Guest guest]

A good explanation Dan!

the emotional incest could be what it has been. I asked this because I

was not at all close to my nada after I started school. I was a

stubborn kid, who thought she knew the right from the wrong and was

always the one who fought terribly with nada, not the boys, boys gave

in, (like dad did mostly too) and supported her often at the expence

of their relationship with our dad, until last Christmas that is.

So it was " vice versa " for us, boys could handle her better than me,

or as you put it " suck up " and of course there was the fact that I was

the eldest and moved out as soon as I could. I propably had the " good

fortune " not to be involved in the most horrifying times of the boys

lives.

They had it harder than I did, and my heart goes out for them and as

their big sis. I am trying to understand what it was like for them,

for they don't want to talk about it anymore - I can totally

understand that - but I still know that they are hurting, when the

crises was at hand, I could see the panic in their eyes and they

turned to me for the first time in their lives and we did talk then. I

heard some pretty awful stories, but telling about them must have been

so painful that they started to spare themselves and others at the

expence of their own health.

But I know I can't help them if they don't want to be helped, it is

their decision. If they come to me someday, I will give the

information that I have and leave it up to them. Until till then I am

trying to understand as much as i possibly can.

BM

>

> > Gerard, can you tell me more about the fact that how the BP forms

> > risk especially for the boys? I have 2 brothers that I think have

> > more problems that I do.

>

> I haven't read anything about this but I have some ideas. I was

> subjected to emotional incest. Nada wanted me to be a spouse

> substitute, and even a God substitute. I felt violated, and Fada

> hated me for replacing him in Nada's affections. Her affections to

> me took the form of cruelty because I was not what she wanted me to

> be and she was angry at me for my failures.

>

> Her expectations on my sister were not so high. My sister was able

> to suck up and get in a lot less trouble than me. She still does

> that, even though she is aware that she is enabling Nada. I think

> her emotional handicaps are more crippling than mine, but she

> accepts them, which I do not.

>

> - Dan

[Guest guest]

Thanks for the information, I will try to find the booklet!

BM

>

> BM, Children of bp's/hysterics get literally broken in to look like

> their mother, to behave themselves like here. Since the boy himself

> can be no mirror for the mother, he solves that problem to offer

> these mother a bride in her image. (I have done that -at that time

> onconscious of that- too !) So the bp-cycle rolls further. So will

> the children get their whole life outlined/lay down. The boys are

> threat with a much worse alienation because they are deprived of

the

> father model,(the father is often by the bp already broken down)

> that, if this comes to reality, can lead them to psychosis.

> Much more about this subject is to read in the

> booklet: 'L'Hystérique, le sex et le médecin' autor: Lucien Israël,

> ISBN 90-334-1020-6. Much psychiatrists has told me that BPD was

once

> HYSTERIA, after reading this book I understand why BPD a new label

is

> on that ancient illness/disorder.

> Gerard

>

[Guest guest]

Thanks for the information, I will try to find the booklet!

BM

>

> BM, Children of bp's/hysterics get literally broken in to look like

> their mother, to behave themselves like here. Since the boy himself

> can be no mirror for the mother, he solves that problem to offer

> these mother a bride in her image. (I have done that -at that time

> onconscious of that- too !) So the bp-cycle rolls further. So will

> the children get their whole life outlined/lay down. The boys are

> threat with a much worse alienation because they are deprived of

the

> father model,(the father is often by the bp already broken down)

> that, if this comes to reality, can lead them to psychosis.

> Much more about this subject is to read in the

> booklet: 'L'Hystérique, le sex et le médecin' autor: Lucien Israël,

> ISBN 90-334-1020-6. Much psychiatrists has told me that BPD was

once

> HYSTERIA, after reading this book I understand why BPD a new label

is

> on that ancient illness/disorder.

> Gerard

>

[Guest guest]

Dear Les

According the booklet about Hysteria I mentioned exists indeed the

killing/murderous hysteria/bpd. By looking at the raising/bringing-up

bp's/hysterics are given to their children it is to understand that

these are literally murderous educations.

Hysteria/bpd are responsible for some deathly roadaccidents, but also

a part of the wave of suicide of young people who find no sense in

life, follow from the experience of senseless/meaningless life of

their parents. There are more examples to tell about these

devastating events.

Happy I myself have no experience with such deathly events in my

family, except that a boy with whom my daughter have had courtship,

sometime after that courtship, had committed suicide. But I think

that he would have done that also if he had not met my daughter, he

was namely a schizofrenic.

Best wishes, Gerard

>

> Dear Gerard,

>

> I'm glad I didn't know any of that when I was raising my own boys.

I

> was always secretely relieved that I didn't have girls because nada

> raised such a mixed-up bunch of girls. I didn't want to perpetuate

> the problem unwittingly as I was so confused as to what was

happening

> us. When I was raising my boys, I felt very fortunate I had no

girls.

> I guess I should have been smart enough to know that no one gets off

> scot- free when raised by a woman like that.

>

> Our family had a weak father too--beaten down to begin with because

of

> his own mother, and then completely destroyed by nada. I never

really

> stopped to think of the impact that would have on my brother--having

> no strong male model--and nada perhaps assigning him a sick role. I

> have read that many boys of BP mothers are psychotic and in fact,

end

> up killing their mothers. We have a sister we suspect is BP and her

> boy is so mixed up that I worry he may kill her some day.

>

> I hope you are well and working through this.

> Best wishes.

> Les