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HOLY HUMOR**A father was approached by his small son who told him proudly, "I knowwhat the Bible means!"His father smiled and replied, "What do you mean, you 'know' what the Biblemeans?The son replied, "I do know!""Okay," said his father. "What does the Bible mean?""That's easy, Daddy..." the young boy replied excitedly," It stands forBasic Information Before Leaving Earth.' (This one is my favorite)=======There was a very gracious lady who was mailing an old family Bible to herbrother in another part of the country."Is there anything breakable in here?" asked the postal clerk."Only the Ten Commandments." answered the lady.========"Somebody has said there are only two kinds of people in the world. Thereare those who wake up in the morning and say, "Good morning, Lord," andthere are those who wake up in the morning and say, "Good Lord, it's morning"========A minister parked his car in a no-parking zone in a large city because hewas short of time and couldn't find a space with a meter.Then he put a note under the windshield wiper that read: "I have circled theblock 10 times. If I don't park here, I'll miss my appointment. Forgive usour trespasses."When he returned, he found a citation from a police officer along with thisnote "I've circled this block for 10 years.. If I don't give you a ticket Ill lose my job. Lead us not into temptation."========There is the story of a pastor who got up one Sunday and announced to hiscongregation: "I have good news and bad news. The good news is, we haveenough money to pay for our new building program. The bad news is, it'sstill out there in your pockets."========While driving in Pennsylvania , a family caught up to an Amish carriage.The owner of the carriage obviously had a sense of humor, because attachedto the back of the carriage was a hand printed sign... "Energy efficientvehicle: Runs on oats and grass. Caution: Do not step in exhaust."========A Sunday School teacher began her lesson with a question, "Boys and girls,what do we know about God?"A hand shot up in the air. "He is an artist!" said the kindergarten boy."Really? How do you know?" the teacher asked."You know - Our Father, who does art in Heaven... "========A minister waited in line to have his car filled with gas just before a longholiday weekend. The attendant worked quickly, but there were many carsahead of him. Finally, the attendant motioned him toward a vacant pump."Reverend," said the young man, "I'm so sorry about the delay. It seems asif everyone waits until the last minute to get ready for a long trip."The minister chuckled, "I know what you mean. It's the same in my business."========People want the front of the bus, the back of the church, and the center ofattention.========Sunday after church, a Mom asked her very young daughter what the lesson wasabout.The daughter answered, "Don't be scared, you'll get your quilt."Needless to say, the Mom was perplexed. Later in the day, the pastor stoppedby for tea and the Mom asked him what that morning'sSunday school lesson wasabout.He said "Be not afraid, thy comforter is coming."========When you carry the Bible, Satan gets a headache..... When you open it, hecollapses..... When he sees you reading it, he faints..... When he sees thatyou are living what you read, he flees..... And when you are about toforward this message.... He will try and discourage you.. I just defeatedhim!!!