Singles Date sites and dealing with Chronic Pain....My Experience # 1

[Guest guest]

Hello again<

I asked about this subject a while back and gave me some good webites

to start on then I have looked into a couple more. This is the start of what

will be my experience on these sites individually and as a whole.

I am a 38 year old male, Good looking of corse (LOL), average, sparse in the

hair department so I just about keep my head shaved, average height, about

10-15 lbs overweight so pretty well average all the way around. You will Not

Meet people like you see in the ads! You may meet one that looks nothing like

their picture and frankly scares you to death, but I wouldn't know about that

(LOL). Actually I did meet one like this !! Meet only in public !! Not at

your car, inside a public place at a given time, and don't give them a

description of your car.-- This is mainly for the protection of the women

however, men

there are some weird women out there so all be careful !!

The first thing I'd like to bring up is the question in my mind as to whether

two disabled people living together is a good idea as a whole. That being

said there are a few sites available for people with all kinds of disabilities.

I have been to and used one whom if they have any major deficiencies is a LACK

OF MEMBERS. " Lovebyrd.com " actually even gave me a free membership as I

believe they can't get or find disabled singles tho they didn't tell me why. I

took a very short survey and badaboom free membership, however, there were very

few members and only 1 other member with chronic pain disabilities whom was

much to my junior. These websites could use your support or they may go away.

Again I go back to my first statement, but you will have to make up your own

mind as to whether its a good idea for two people of the same disabilities is a

good idea. I can see good and bad aspects like any relationship.

I believe one of the main problems most chronic pain suffers have over time

is decreased libido (sex drive) due to pain itself, immobility, depression, and

the pain meds in which I believe most of us take. In that sense it may make

sense for two like ability people to get together. I'm sure we will get a

consenus after this post. I will tell in my next post of a couple more sites I

have used but I don't want the post to get to long.

C Ya

y

[Guest guest]

Hello y,

After reading your post I could not help but to respond because I met

my husband on-line. Not through a dating service, but while playing

a multi-player role playing game. I had actually met several people

from the game we shared and have many on-line close relationships

that have developed from it.

You are very right about being careful, regardless of being man or

woman and I always met people in resturants. Most of them were

already in my local area so we would meet for lunch or coffee and the

game also has yearly conventions around the country so there were

other alternatives to meeting fellow players.

But do be very careful. I always made sure I never gave anyone my

home address, phone number or the location of my job and was very

glad after one person attempted to stalk me and he had given me his

address and he actually lived less than two miles from my home. With

no other contact posiable other than the game, he eventually gave

up. The moderators of the game were helpful to see that he didn't

stalk me in game as well.

I live in Arizona and my husband lived in California and we met while

playing and knew each other for a year before meeting. I resisted at

first because I was leary of the whole " on-line dating " thing plus he

was 14 years younger than me, but he was very stubborn about it and I

finally relented. We were lucky that the feelings we shared on-line

were carried over in to real life for us. I know of others who met

from the same game, some were successful but many were not.

We both have CP although mine developed a year after we met and he

had broken his back while on active duty many years before, but it

has been benificial because we both know what we are going through,

never doubt the others pain, help each other out and the

understanding of our limits and disbitities never get in the way of

our life with each other as I have read here and in other groups. I

have read so often how when one spouse is disabled and the other

isn't, it can cause such frustration and make the non-disabled spouse

feel overwhelmed at times.

This dosn't happen with us, even when we are both having bad days at

the same time, we just comfort each other as much as possible and on

days when only one of us is having more problems than usual we do

everything we can to aleviate as much pain as possible. Just this

morning he stumbled out of bed to check on me and make sure I had

taken my meds because he knew the last few days had been hard on me.

When I have bad days I usually end up on the couch and he watches

after me.

It is more one sided in our relationship, with me having more

problems than he, but we have been together several years now and it

seems like I love him more each day and I could not ask for a more

loving and caring husband. And he would kill me if he knew I wrote

this (lol) because he is such a private person, but I as always had

to put my 2 cents worth in and let you know it can work.

y wrote:

> Hello again<

> I asked about this subject a while back and gave me some good

> webites to start on then I have looked into a couple more.

[Guest guest]

Hello y,

After reading your post I could not help but to respond because I met

my husband on-line. Not through a dating service, but while playing

a multi-player role playing game. I had actually met several people

from the game we shared and have many on-line close relationships

that have developed from it.

You are very right about being careful, regardless of being man or

woman and I always met people in resturants. Most of them were

already in my local area so we would meet for lunch or coffee and the

game also has yearly conventions around the country so there were

other alternatives to meeting fellow players.

But do be very careful. I always made sure I never gave anyone my

home address, phone number or the location of my job and was very

glad after one person attempted to stalk me and he had given me his

address and he actually lived less than two miles from my home. With

no other contact posiable other than the game, he eventually gave

up. The moderators of the game were helpful to see that he didn't

stalk me in game as well.

I live in Arizona and my husband lived in California and we met while

playing and knew each other for a year before meeting. I resisted at

first because I was leary of the whole " on-line dating " thing plus he

was 14 years younger than me, but he was very stubborn about it and I

finally relented. We were lucky that the feelings we shared on-line

were carried over in to real life for us. I know of others who met

from the same game, some were successful but many were not.

We both have CP although mine developed a year after we met and he

had broken his back while on active duty many years before, but it

has been benificial because we both know what we are going through,

never doubt the others pain, help each other out and the

understanding of our limits and disbitities never get in the way of

our life with each other as I have read here and in other groups. I

have read so often how when one spouse is disabled and the other

isn't, it can cause such frustration and make the non-disabled spouse

feel overwhelmed at times.

This dosn't happen with us, even when we are both having bad days at

the same time, we just comfort each other as much as possible and on

days when only one of us is having more problems than usual we do

everything we can to aleviate as much pain as possible. Just this

morning he stumbled out of bed to check on me and make sure I had

taken my meds because he knew the last few days had been hard on me.

When I have bad days I usually end up on the couch and he watches

after me.

It is more one sided in our relationship, with me having more

problems than he, but we have been together several years now and it

seems like I love him more each day and I could not ask for a more

loving and caring husband. And he would kill me if he knew I wrote

this (lol) because he is such a private person, but I as always had

to put my 2 cents worth in and let you know it can work.

y wrote:

> Hello again<

> I asked about this subject a while back and gave me some good

> webites to start on then I have looked into a couple more.

[Guest guest]

Hello y,

After reading your post I could not help but to respond because I met

my husband on-line. Not through a dating service, but while playing

a multi-player role playing game. I had actually met several people

from the game we shared and have many on-line close relationships

that have developed from it.

You are very right about being careful, regardless of being man or

woman and I always met people in resturants. Most of them were

already in my local area so we would meet for lunch or coffee and the

game also has yearly conventions around the country so there were

other alternatives to meeting fellow players.

But do be very careful. I always made sure I never gave anyone my

home address, phone number or the location of my job and was very

glad after one person attempted to stalk me and he had given me his

address and he actually lived less than two miles from my home. With

no other contact posiable other than the game, he eventually gave

up. The moderators of the game were helpful to see that he didn't

stalk me in game as well.

I live in Arizona and my husband lived in California and we met while

playing and knew each other for a year before meeting. I resisted at

first because I was leary of the whole " on-line dating " thing plus he

was 14 years younger than me, but he was very stubborn about it and I

finally relented. We were lucky that the feelings we shared on-line

were carried over in to real life for us. I know of others who met

from the same game, some were successful but many were not.

We both have CP although mine developed a year after we met and he

had broken his back while on active duty many years before, but it

has been benificial because we both know what we are going through,

never doubt the others pain, help each other out and the

understanding of our limits and disbitities never get in the way of

our life with each other as I have read here and in other groups. I

have read so often how when one spouse is disabled and the other

isn't, it can cause such frustration and make the non-disabled spouse

feel overwhelmed at times.

This dosn't happen with us, even when we are both having bad days at

the same time, we just comfort each other as much as possible and on

days when only one of us is having more problems than usual we do

everything we can to aleviate as much pain as possible. Just this

morning he stumbled out of bed to check on me and make sure I had

taken my meds because he knew the last few days had been hard on me.

When I have bad days I usually end up on the couch and he watches

after me.

It is more one sided in our relationship, with me having more

problems than he, but we have been together several years now and it

seems like I love him more each day and I could not ask for a more

loving and caring husband. And he would kill me if he knew I wrote

this (lol) because he is such a private person, but I as always had

to put my 2 cents worth in and let you know it can work.

y wrote:

> Hello again<

> I asked about this subject a while back and gave me some good

> webites to start on then I have looked into a couple more.