Re: Mghue - Nada's stories etc.

[Guest guest]

<<

My Nada paints such a black ( " all bad " ) picture of most

of her children -- that I wonder how she is able to

maintain even the 2 " friends " that she does have! >>

Other KOs,

My nada has no 'friends' to speak of. Her one 'friend' D. called me once to

say how tired she was of my nada's troubles and how she felt like she'd been

run over by those big wheel cars in a pit when she talked to her. I thought

that was very descriptive of nada's self-centered speils. She came out and said

that my nada had torn still another lady's head off. She even said, 'that

woman's train is off her track'.

My nada thinks that another 'friend' S. stays around her because she loves to

hear her woes and pity-pot party. When I told her once to really, really ask

S. how she feels, without retaliation or revenge in mind, then S. her

'friend' really told her that 'yes, she did love her, and she was a friend, but

her

problems, demands and behavior really did get to her sometimes'. Nada then has

taken to buy this 'friend' gifts to keep her. I ran into S's daughter J once

in a shop by total coincidence and she was quite cool to me. I explained to

the shopkeeper that 'our mother's play together'. I then found out why J was

so cool to me; my nada was wearing out her mother. My nada has a lot of

insight. She got that one. She's very high-functioning, she just hasn't gotten

it

together yet.

The point I was trying to get her to listen to other people's feelings and

how she exploits them by not returning the friendship and the gift of empathy

and maintaining a balance of listening to them in return.

Nada's day is coming up May 9th. I plan to ignore her totally as before. No

call, no card, no contact. I'm very apprehensive but not since being on the

lists and have gotten rid of the the FOG. I see Mother's Day cards but I

won't budge on sending her one after the way she's treated me.

Rita

" And she'll have fun, fun, fun 'till her daddy takes the keyboard away " .

[Guest guest]

<<

My Nada paints such a black ( " all bad " ) picture of most

of her children -- that I wonder how she is able to

maintain even the 2 " friends " that she does have! >>

Other KOs,

My nada has no 'friends' to speak of. Her one 'friend' D. called me once to

say how tired she was of my nada's troubles and how she felt like she'd been

run over by those big wheel cars in a pit when she talked to her. I thought

that was very descriptive of nada's self-centered speils. She came out and said

that my nada had torn still another lady's head off. She even said, 'that

woman's train is off her track'.

My nada thinks that another 'friend' S. stays around her because she loves to

hear her woes and pity-pot party. When I told her once to really, really ask

S. how she feels, without retaliation or revenge in mind, then S. her

'friend' really told her that 'yes, she did love her, and she was a friend, but

her

problems, demands and behavior really did get to her sometimes'. Nada then has

taken to buy this 'friend' gifts to keep her. I ran into S's daughter J once

in a shop by total coincidence and she was quite cool to me. I explained to

the shopkeeper that 'our mother's play together'. I then found out why J was

so cool to me; my nada was wearing out her mother. My nada has a lot of

insight. She got that one. She's very high-functioning, she just hasn't gotten

it

together yet.

The point I was trying to get her to listen to other people's feelings and

how she exploits them by not returning the friendship and the gift of empathy

and maintaining a balance of listening to them in return.

Nada's day is coming up May 9th. I plan to ignore her totally as before. No

call, no card, no contact. I'm very apprehensive but not since being on the

lists and have gotten rid of the the FOG. I see Mother's Day cards but I

won't budge on sending her one after the way she's treated me.

Rita

" And she'll have fun, fun, fun 'till her daddy takes the keyboard away " .

[Guest guest]

In a message dated 5/3/04 10:11:26 AM Eastern Daylight Time,

Chu7190565@... writes:

Nada's day is coming up May 9th. I plan to ignore her totally as before. No

call, no card, no contact. I'm very apprehensive but not since being on the

lists and have gotten rid of the the FOG. I see Mother's Day cards but I

won't budge on sending her one after the way she's treated me.

Rita

Same here Rita. I will not be hoovered into providing false 'perfection' to

Nada. She doesn't 'mother' me. Carol