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Well, at the risk of sounding like a ninny.... ME TOO!!!!!!!!

All this time I thought she was just a " bad mother with issues. " All

this time I thought I was just a spineless sell-out willing to be

bought.

I'm tired of apologizing for her behavior. I'm tired of never being

able to do it right, whatever " it " is. I'm tired of wondering if

everything she says or does is loaded with buck shot. I'm tired of

everything being loaded with buck shot. I'm PO'd that my siblings may

never find their way through. I'm tired of blaming myself for not

raising my siblings well. I'm tired of wondering why my dad stays.

I'm just plain tired.

Yet, here I stay. Right in the middle of it. By choice. Because she

uses my SO as a hoover (I learned a new word:)and I let her suck me

right along. It's a big, sticky, disgusting mess.

No, she's not been officially diagnosed (that I know of), but it all

fits in a nice little package. My therapist first made the suggestion

that she might possibly be BP. She's trying to help me muddle through.

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