about the card

April 18, 2005

Everyone, who cares about Hallmark? Why not just buy one of the

blank cards with flowers on the outside or something? And inside

just write " Happy Mothers Day. "

Last year for Mother's Day, I made the mistake of going home to

visit, with my card in tow. My reasoning was, it would help keep

nada off the scent that I was 'handling' her and making conscious

boundaries. Well, I got there, and split good sister, who is also a

bpd, was there with her lackie man of the month. She had got him to

buy nada a gift worth almost $1000 dollars. I got a strained though

polite, thank you for the card, then split good sis but especially

her boyfriend got gush, gush, coo, coo etc. Of COURSE they did not

tell me they were doing this. Mother's Day gifts were never a

tradition in our family. Being bpd, split good loves to 'win', and

this was a prime opportunity to show she was the 'good' girl. Can

you imagine how it felt being thanked for that little card, nada's

tone and expression, how the whole scenario was set up to solidify

that my sister was good and valid and had a right to exist INSTEAD

of me, that it had to be one of us only and she was it.

This year, I'm not going home. I am considering sending a one line

email. Nada didn't even send me a birthday card OR email for my

birthday, after all. Of course, that doesn't matter, nada's don't

see it that way--she will feel rejected if she EXPECTS a card, or

especially if someone ASKS her if she got one from me. It has

nothing to do with whether or not MY days are acknowledged.

I freakin HATE " mothers " day.

April 18, 2005

Oh Charlie,

I was hoping you would send your Nada a block of stinky limberger

cheese...say, a week or so old and un-refridgerated, for Mother's Day!

But then, a one line email would be cheaper! LOL!

Di.