Guest guest Posted September 15, 2003 Report Share Posted September 15, 2003 Sue, I agree with Kim. When my oldest daughter came forward and told me about her OCD it was the day before a big Girl Scout sleepover at my house. The thought of having ten girls in the house was what drove her to tell me. I called the psychiatrist treating my other daughter and asked him if I should make Hannah deal with it or disappoint ten other girls and he said to cancel. He said that if Hannah said it was too stressful I needed to respect that and so I cancelled. We run into the same thing with visiting my parents out of state. My brother and his four children are too much for my girls to deal with and so I have to be firm in visiting alone with mine. This has caused some upset but I make sure that my folks and brother understand that it isn't anything about his children--that it's mine. Kelley in NV Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted September 15, 2003 Report Share Posted September 15, 2003 Hi everyone, We're just getting Angie (aged 6) in a stable place (finally!). The behavioral therapy is working. The need for reassurance has decreased dramatically. She's liking school and doing well. OCD is not ruling our lives. It's hard to believe it's the same child it was a few weeks ago. So here's my question... My brother, his wife and their two children (ages 2 & 4) have asked if they can visit for a week in November. I mentioned it to Angie and she is already stressed out (doesn't like small kids, they'll be in our house, and a million other things). This is because she doesn't like change and it will be chaos for a week if they come. Should I gently tell them it's not a good time due to her OCD? What experiences have you guys had with houseguests? Or should I just accept this is part of life and deal with it. Right now I'm kind of walking on eggshells and don't want to do anything that will give the OCD a chance to take hold again. Thanks for your help. Sue in Phoenix Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted September 15, 2003 Report Share Posted September 15, 2003 Hi Sue, Boy, do I know the walking on egg shells feeling. I suppose everyone reading this list does! If it were I, I would take the conservative route and politely explain to your brother that the change and stress involved in having company can (and likely will) exacerbate Angie's OCD, so unfortunately you have to decline at this time. I'm sure he would understand. For me, personally, it wouldn't be worth the risk. Having company is stressful in itself, aside from the stress of OCDland that we (and our kids) have to deal with. That's just what I would do. Kim > Hi everyone, > > We're just getting Angie (aged 6) in a stable place (finally!). The > behavioral therapy is working. The need for reassurance has decreased > dramatically. She's liking school and doing well. OCD is not ruling our > lives. It's hard to believe it's the same child it was a few weeks ago. > > So here's my question... My brother, his wife and their two children > (ages 2 & 4) have asked if they can visit for a week in November. I > mentioned it to Angie and she is already stressed out (doesn't like > small kids, they'll be in our house, and a million other things). This > is because she doesn't like change and it will be chaos for a week if > they come. Should I gently tell them it's not a good time due to her > OCD? What experiences have you guys had with houseguests? Or should I > just accept this is part of life and deal with it. > > Right now I'm kind of walking on eggshells and don't want to do anything > that will give the OCD a chance to take hold again. > > Thanks for your help. > > Sue in Phoenix Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted September 15, 2003 Report Share Posted September 15, 2003 Hi Sue, Boy, do I know the walking on egg shells feeling. I suppose everyone reading this list does! If it were I, I would take the conservative route and politely explain to your brother that the change and stress involved in having company can (and likely will) exacerbate Angie's OCD, so unfortunately you have to decline at this time. I'm sure he would understand. For me, personally, it wouldn't be worth the risk. Having company is stressful in itself, aside from the stress of OCDland that we (and our kids) have to deal with. That's just what I would do. Kim > Hi everyone, > > We're just getting Angie (aged 6) in a stable place (finally!). The > behavioral therapy is working. The need for reassurance has decreased > dramatically. She's liking school and doing well. OCD is not ruling our > lives. It's hard to believe it's the same child it was a few weeks ago. > > So here's my question... My brother, his wife and their two children > (ages 2 & 4) have asked if they can visit for a week in November. I > mentioned it to Angie and she is already stressed out (doesn't like > small kids, they'll be in our house, and a million other things). This > is because she doesn't like change and it will be chaos for a week if > they come. Should I gently tell them it's not a good time due to her > OCD? What experiences have you guys had with houseguests? Or should I > just accept this is part of life and deal with it. > > Right now I'm kind of walking on eggshells and don't want to do anything > that will give the OCD a chance to take hold again. > > Thanks for your help. > > Sue in Phoenix Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted September 15, 2003 Report Share Posted September 15, 2003 Hi Sue, I'm going to buck the trend and suggest that you have the guests as planned. Since your daughter is having such success in therapy, and the visit isn't until November, she'll have a lot of time to work on exposures toward these plans with her therapist. Since this is family, it should be easier to explain any troubles your child may experience while they are visiting. Having guests, traveling, going to restaurants, all sorts of things are normal things to do. Choosing to avoid something you'd otherwise do, due to OCD and fears, strengthens the disorder unfortunately. Avoidance of the feared thing is contrary to the goals of the ERP you say is working well with your child. Good luck! Kathy R. in Indiana ----- Original Message ----- From: Sue Clayton We're just getting Angie (aged 6) in a stable place (finally!). The behavioral therapy is working. The need for reassurance has decreased dramatically. She's liking school and doing well. OCD is not ruling our lives. It's hard to believe it's the same child it was a few weeks ago. So here's my question... My brother, his wife and their two children (ages 2 & 4) have asked if they can visit for a week in November. I mentioned it to Angie and she is already stressed out (doesn't like small kids, they'll be in our house, and a million other things). This is because she doesn't like change and it will be chaos for a week if they come. Should I gently tell them it's not a good time due to her OCD? What experiences have you guys had with houseguests? Or should I just accept this is part of life and deal with it. Right now I'm kind of walking on eggshells and don't want to do anything that will give the OCD a chance to take hold again. Thanks for your help. Sue in Phoenix Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted September 15, 2003 Report Share Posted September 15, 2003 Hi Sue Destinie has had problems with change since she was a bout 4 months old, what he have learned to do is prepare her in advance , talk it over , discuss it and get her used to the idea , we reasure her and work with her on the fears. we do activities that help.little things that sort of lead up to the event that is stressing her. I am new to this and cant tell you what is right or wrong but i do know that the more we avoided Destinies fears the worse they got.It is really hard to deal with change issues, the world around us is ever cahnging and it isitn soemthing we can controll. can i ask you what will you do in the future ?Will you never have company ?will she never go out and face new things?what about that day when she will have to face those things?wont it be harder to face and conquer in the future that it would be now?This is something i think about a lot with Destinie, the future. I want to prepare her to live as normal a life as possible It seems that the longer a fear isnt the adressed or dealt with the stronger it will grow. With Destinies ocd issues i have found that the sooner we adress them the easier they are to fight agaisnt and win. good luck to you i know this is a hard decision to make. TJ Having houseguests Hi everyone, We're just getting Angie (aged 6) in a stable place (finally!). The behavioral therapy is working. The need for reassurance has decreased dramatically. She's liking school and doing well. OCD is not ruling our lives. It's hard to believe it's the same child it was a few weeks ago. So here's my question... My brother, his wife and their two children (ages 2 & 4) have asked if they can visit for a week in November. I mentioned it to Angie and she is already stressed out (doesn't like small kids, they'll be in our house, and a million other things). This is because she doesn't like change and it will be chaos for a week if they come. Should I gently tell them it's not a good time due to her OCD? What experiences have you guys had with houseguests? Or should I just accept this is part of life and deal with it. Right now I'm kind of walking on eggshells and don't want to do anything that will give the OCD a chance to take hold again. Thanks for your help. Sue in Phoenix Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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