re: New, just introducing myself

[Guest guest]

Welcome, Becky!

You may not be a KO, but you are now in a non-chosen relationship

with a BPD- your future MIL. You did choose your fiancee, but the

relationship with his MIL just comes along with the package.

Is there any way you can encourage your fiancee to read the posts

here or the book, Understanding the Borderline Mother? I think it

would be helpful if you both were on the same page as far as how to

deal with her, how to set up boundaries, etc. I know that it has

helped my husband when I have explained a lot of this BPD stuff to

him- he now helps me to screen my calls from Nada, he promises not

to leave me alone with her, he respects my wishes about limiting

Nada contact with our son, and he does help me by telling me I am

doing the right thing (tho' I still have to ask him). Maybe since

you know that you are likely to have problems with future MIL, you

should talk about how you will deal with her before you get married.

Also, how you will deal with any children you have. Are you aware

that your fiancee may have some " fleas " from being raised by a Nada.

We KO's are all working on ridding ourselves, because, god forbid,

we DON'T want to be like Nada!

I am glad to know that you are learning about BPD early in your

relationship with your Nada-in-law...that will make your married

life much happier.

Di.