Re: anyone else not go to FOO Easter?

[Guest guest]

Yo Other KOs,

I didn't do FOO Easter myself. I had an invitation from nada about Thursday.

She tried to hoover me in with her fried chicken. She then wanted to bring

it over since I told her I wasn't going to do any more holidays with her

anymore. I mean, if she can't get me over she was going to bring dinner here.

I

said no.

I spent the day FOO Free and enjoyed every minute of it. Worked on my quilt,

read and spent the time in peace. I didn't call her.

KOs I think she's getting it. I sure hope so. At least I have some skills

to use if she does do it again, but it sure does get tiring waiting for the

other shoe to drop. That's almost as tiring as the rages, splitting, etc.,

itself--the apprehension of not knowing what's going to happen next.

Rita

" And she'll have fun, fun, fun 'till her daddy takes the keyboard away. "

[Guest guest]

Yo Other KOs,

I didn't do FOO Easter myself. I had an invitation from nada about Thursday.

She tried to hoover me in with her fried chicken. She then wanted to bring

it over since I told her I wasn't going to do any more holidays with her

anymore. I mean, if she can't get me over she was going to bring dinner here.

I

said no.

I spent the day FOO Free and enjoyed every minute of it. Worked on my quilt,

read and spent the time in peace. I didn't call her.

KOs I think she's getting it. I sure hope so. At least I have some skills

to use if she does do it again, but it sure does get tiring waiting for the

other shoe to drop. That's almost as tiring as the rages, splitting, etc.,

itself--the apprehension of not knowing what's going to happen next.

Rita

" And she'll have fun, fun, fun 'till her daddy takes the keyboard away. "

[Guest guest]

Yo Other KOs,

I didn't do FOO Easter myself. I had an invitation from nada about Thursday.

She tried to hoover me in with her fried chicken. She then wanted to bring

it over since I told her I wasn't going to do any more holidays with her

anymore. I mean, if she can't get me over she was going to bring dinner here.

I

said no.

I spent the day FOO Free and enjoyed every minute of it. Worked on my quilt,

read and spent the time in peace. I didn't call her.

KOs I think she's getting it. I sure hope so. At least I have some skills

to use if she does do it again, but it sure does get tiring waiting for the

other shoe to drop. That's almost as tiring as the rages, splitting, etc.,

itself--the apprehension of not knowing what's going to happen next.

Rita

" And she'll have fun, fun, fun 'till her daddy takes the keyboard away. "

[Guest guest]

Hi ,

Wow, your adult KO sounds like she's been listening to nada for WAY

too long... so I'm just going to whisper an aside to the quiet little

girl: Continue to be safe, be happy, and heal. That's what my quiet

little girl did yesterday, too .

> the quiet little girl in me said, " i want today to be quiet and

>fun. i don't wanna see mommy and daddy and everybody even though i

>miss them. i just wanna be safe today. " and the adult KO stood over

her all day...

>

[Guest guest]

Hi ,

Wow, your adult KO sounds like she's been listening to nada for WAY

too long... so I'm just going to whisper an aside to the quiet little

girl: Continue to be safe, be happy, and heal. That's what my quiet

little girl did yesterday, too .

> the quiet little girl in me said, " i want today to be quiet and

>fun. i don't wanna see mommy and daddy and everybody even though i

>miss them. i just wanna be safe today. " and the adult KO stood over

her all day...

>

[Guest guest]

I also spent a BP free Easter at home alone with my husband, and it

was relaxing (aside from the nada call). Who needs FOO when all you

need is good food, some movies and a pug to entertain you! I love

being away from my FOO!

>

> Gosh, how I missed you all yesterday! I don't have internet at

home

> and I couldn't WAIT to get online this morning and check in!!

>

> so, i didn't go to FOO Easter. in fact, i have no idea how they

> spent easter. the closest anyone got to even inviting me was

> grandnada calling work last week, but i cut her off before she

could

> whinily invite me. wow for me!

>

> i went to church in the morning and then to a friend's for dinner.

I

> did get pretty upset last night, after all was said and done,

mostly

> just fighting my guilty guilty self. Honestly, I make myself feel

> worse than anyone else bc I feel like I am doing something wrong!

>

> externally, i had a fine day. it was simple and quiet. but

> internally i was warring. the quiet little girl in me said, " i

want

> today to be quiet and fun. i don't wanna see mommy and daddy and

> everybody even though i miss them. i just wanna be safe today. "

and

> the adult KO stood over her all day, screaming, " quiet and fun, on

a

> holiday? you idiot! on holidays you have to go to your

grandmother's

> house! you AT LEAST have to call your parents and wish them a good

> holiday! what kind of a kid are you? You are completely overly-

> emotional. why do you always overreact? you are such a drama

queen.

> god, i hope someday a man will be able to HANDLE marrying you. AND

> you miss your family? what the heck is that about? you know they

are

> crazy and that there are medical terms for what is wrong with

them?

> Ugh. will you ever learn? you want to be safe? you are a big baby. "

>

> The internal war continues, even though NO ONE is coming at me

> externally. I really hope that, eventually, that adult KO treats

the

> child me better. it is exhausting.

>

>

[Guest guest]

I also spent a BP free Easter at home alone with my husband, and it

was relaxing (aside from the nada call). Who needs FOO when all you

need is good food, some movies and a pug to entertain you! I love

being away from my FOO!

>

> Gosh, how I missed you all yesterday! I don't have internet at

home

> and I couldn't WAIT to get online this morning and check in!!

>

> so, i didn't go to FOO Easter. in fact, i have no idea how they

> spent easter. the closest anyone got to even inviting me was

> grandnada calling work last week, but i cut her off before she

could

> whinily invite me. wow for me!

>

> i went to church in the morning and then to a friend's for dinner.

I

> did get pretty upset last night, after all was said and done,

mostly

> just fighting my guilty guilty self. Honestly, I make myself feel

> worse than anyone else bc I feel like I am doing something wrong!

>

> externally, i had a fine day. it was simple and quiet. but

> internally i was warring. the quiet little girl in me said, " i

want

> today to be quiet and fun. i don't wanna see mommy and daddy and

> everybody even though i miss them. i just wanna be safe today. "

and

> the adult KO stood over her all day, screaming, " quiet and fun, on

a

> holiday? you idiot! on holidays you have to go to your

grandmother's

> house! you AT LEAST have to call your parents and wish them a good

> holiday! what kind of a kid are you? You are completely overly-

> emotional. why do you always overreact? you are such a drama

queen.

> god, i hope someday a man will be able to HANDLE marrying you. AND

> you miss your family? what the heck is that about? you know they

are

> crazy and that there are medical terms for what is wrong with

them?

> Ugh. will you ever learn? you want to be safe? you are a big baby. "

>

> The internal war continues, even though NO ONE is coming at me

> externally. I really hope that, eventually, that adult KO treats

the

> child me better. it is exhausting.

>

>

[Guest guest]

I also spent a BP free Easter at home alone with my husband, and it

was relaxing (aside from the nada call). Who needs FOO when all you

need is good food, some movies and a pug to entertain you! I love

being away from my FOO!

>

> Gosh, how I missed you all yesterday! I don't have internet at

home

> and I couldn't WAIT to get online this morning and check in!!

>

> so, i didn't go to FOO Easter. in fact, i have no idea how they

> spent easter. the closest anyone got to even inviting me was

> grandnada calling work last week, but i cut her off before she

could

> whinily invite me. wow for me!

>

> i went to church in the morning and then to a friend's for dinner.

I

> did get pretty upset last night, after all was said and done,

mostly

> just fighting my guilty guilty self. Honestly, I make myself feel

> worse than anyone else bc I feel like I am doing something wrong!

>

> externally, i had a fine day. it was simple and quiet. but

> internally i was warring. the quiet little girl in me said, " i

want

> today to be quiet and fun. i don't wanna see mommy and daddy and

> everybody even though i miss them. i just wanna be safe today. "

and

> the adult KO stood over her all day, screaming, " quiet and fun, on

a

> holiday? you idiot! on holidays you have to go to your

grandmother's

> house! you AT LEAST have to call your parents and wish them a good

> holiday! what kind of a kid are you? You are completely overly-

> emotional. why do you always overreact? you are such a drama

queen.

> god, i hope someday a man will be able to HANDLE marrying you. AND

> you miss your family? what the heck is that about? you know they

are

> crazy and that there are medical terms for what is wrong with

them?

> Ugh. will you ever learn? you want to be safe? you are a big baby. "

>

> The internal war continues, even though NO ONE is coming at me

> externally. I really hope that, eventually, that adult KO treats

the

> child me better. it is exhausting.

>

>

[Guest guest]

> Yo Other KOs,

>

> I didn't do FOO Easter myself. I had an invitation from nada

about Thursday.

> She tried to hoover me in with her fried chicken. She then

wanted to bring

> it over since I told her I wasn't going to do any more holidays

with her

> anymore. I mean, if she can't get me over she was going to bring

dinner here. I

> said no.

>

> I spent the day FOO Free and enjoyed every minute of it. Worked

on my quilt,

> read and spent the time in peace. I didn't call her.

>

> KOs I think she's getting it. I sure hope so. At least I have

some skills

> to use if she does do it again, but it sure does get tiring

waiting for the

> other shoe to drop. That's almost as tiring as the rages,

splitting, etc.,

> itself--the apprehension of not knowing what's going to happen

next.

>

> Rita

>

Rita,

You go, girl! Way to say no, stick to it, AND not call her!!!

Awesome job.

I relate to getting exhausted by waiting for the other shoe to drop.

My therapist calls this hypper-vigilance, and it is tiring.

[Guest guest]

> Yo Other KOs,

>

> I didn't do FOO Easter myself. I had an invitation from nada

about Thursday.

> She tried to hoover me in with her fried chicken. She then

wanted to bring

> it over since I told her I wasn't going to do any more holidays

with her

> anymore. I mean, if she can't get me over she was going to bring

dinner here. I

> said no.

>

> I spent the day FOO Free and enjoyed every minute of it. Worked

on my quilt,

> read and spent the time in peace. I didn't call her.

>

> KOs I think she's getting it. I sure hope so. At least I have

some skills

> to use if she does do it again, but it sure does get tiring

waiting for the

> other shoe to drop. That's almost as tiring as the rages,

splitting, etc.,

> itself--the apprehension of not knowing what's going to happen

next.

>

> Rita

>

Rita,

You go, girl! Way to say no, stick to it, AND not call her!!!

Awesome job.

I relate to getting exhausted by waiting for the other shoe to drop.

My therapist calls this hypper-vigilance, and it is tiring.

[Guest guest]

> Yo Other KOs,

>

> I didn't do FOO Easter myself. I had an invitation from nada

about Thursday.

> She tried to hoover me in with her fried chicken. She then

wanted to bring

> it over since I told her I wasn't going to do any more holidays

with her

> anymore. I mean, if she can't get me over she was going to bring

dinner here. I

> said no.

>

> I spent the day FOO Free and enjoyed every minute of it. Worked

on my quilt,

> read and spent the time in peace. I didn't call her.

>

> KOs I think she's getting it. I sure hope so. At least I have

some skills

> to use if she does do it again, but it sure does get tiring

waiting for the

> other shoe to drop. That's almost as tiring as the rages,

splitting, etc.,

> itself--the apprehension of not knowing what's going to happen

next.

>

> Rita

>

Rita,

You go, girl! Way to say no, stick to it, AND not call her!!!

Awesome job.

I relate to getting exhausted by waiting for the other shoe to drop.

My therapist calls this hypper-vigilance, and it is tiring.

[Guest guest]

I didn't attend Easter with the FOO. After not responding to the

invitation for St. 's Day dinner, I think they got the hint.

I'm not going near them. I didn't get an invitation. Didn't want one

either. But it surely secures my thinking. They can let me go in a

heartbeat, all if nada says so. Whatever. I felt a little strange not

being there. Spent it with my fiancee's family. I had a great time,

but still, my mind had a tendency to drift into thinking I was making

a mistake. I guess my fiancee may have noticed, cuz halfway through

the day, she asked if I was okay. But those feelings went away pretty

quickly.

It turns out I had the most on a holiday since when I was like 4 or 5

and got tons of presents on Christmas. It was just so open and

relaxing. The family with is lud and eveyone is just talking with

everyone. They are all joking with each other and having a good time.

We even played cards(poker). Real betting, only with quarters of

course. Lost $15 though...lol Played for 4+ hours. Now, this would

NEVER happen with my family. Holidays were so uncomfortable. Quiet,

minimal talking relegated to world events. Card playing? NEVER....to

lowly for my high and mighty family. Makes me sick ...yuck. In any

event, it couldn't have been better and I relly felt like I belinged.

I could be myself, carry on good conversations...even get in

arguments and 2 seconds later, they would be forgotten. Her family

allows so much in the way of indivuality. Without much consequence.

I really wish sometimes I had that....atleast I can sample some of it.

Better late than never I guess.

Over a month and counting. I never thought I could feel so much

better. I still check my phone from time to time and see if nada has

called. But even those tendencies are fading ever so slightly.

I even notice that the arguments that my fianceee and I used to get in

are dwindling. I get to focus more on our realtionship than pleasing

my nada. Trust me it helps

ta ta

[Guest guest]

I didn't attend Easter with the FOO. After not responding to the

invitation for St. 's Day dinner, I think they got the hint.

I'm not going near them. I didn't get an invitation. Didn't want one

either. But it surely secures my thinking. They can let me go in a

heartbeat, all if nada says so. Whatever. I felt a little strange not

being there. Spent it with my fiancee's family. I had a great time,

but still, my mind had a tendency to drift into thinking I was making

a mistake. I guess my fiancee may have noticed, cuz halfway through

the day, she asked if I was okay. But those feelings went away pretty

quickly.

It turns out I had the most on a holiday since when I was like 4 or 5

and got tons of presents on Christmas. It was just so open and

relaxing. The family with is lud and eveyone is just talking with

everyone. They are all joking with each other and having a good time.

We even played cards(poker). Real betting, only with quarters of

course. Lost $15 though...lol Played for 4+ hours. Now, this would

NEVER happen with my family. Holidays were so uncomfortable. Quiet,

minimal talking relegated to world events. Card playing? NEVER....to

lowly for my high and mighty family. Makes me sick ...yuck. In any

event, it couldn't have been better and I relly felt like I belinged.

I could be myself, carry on good conversations...even get in

arguments and 2 seconds later, they would be forgotten. Her family

allows so much in the way of indivuality. Without much consequence.

I really wish sometimes I had that....atleast I can sample some of it.

Better late than never I guess.

Over a month and counting. I never thought I could feel so much

better. I still check my phone from time to time and see if nada has

called. But even those tendencies are fading ever so slightly.

I even notice that the arguments that my fianceee and I used to get in

are dwindling. I get to focus more on our realtionship than pleasing

my nada. Trust me it helps

ta ta

[Guest guest]

I didn't attend Easter with the FOO. After not responding to the

invitation for St. 's Day dinner, I think they got the hint.

I'm not going near them. I didn't get an invitation. Didn't want one

either. But it surely secures my thinking. They can let me go in a

heartbeat, all if nada says so. Whatever. I felt a little strange not

being there. Spent it with my fiancee's family. I had a great time,

but still, my mind had a tendency to drift into thinking I was making

a mistake. I guess my fiancee may have noticed, cuz halfway through

the day, she asked if I was okay. But those feelings went away pretty

quickly.

It turns out I had the most on a holiday since when I was like 4 or 5

and got tons of presents on Christmas. It was just so open and

relaxing. The family with is lud and eveyone is just talking with

everyone. They are all joking with each other and having a good time.

We even played cards(poker). Real betting, only with quarters of

course. Lost $15 though...lol Played for 4+ hours. Now, this would

NEVER happen with my family. Holidays were so uncomfortable. Quiet,

minimal talking relegated to world events. Card playing? NEVER....to

lowly for my high and mighty family. Makes me sick ...yuck. In any

event, it couldn't have been better and I relly felt like I belinged.

I could be myself, carry on good conversations...even get in

arguments and 2 seconds later, they would be forgotten. Her family

allows so much in the way of indivuality. Without much consequence.

I really wish sometimes I had that....atleast I can sample some of it.

Better late than never I guess.

Over a month and counting. I never thought I could feel so much

better. I still check my phone from time to time and see if nada has

called. But even those tendencies are fading ever so slightly.

I even notice that the arguments that my fianceee and I used to get in

are dwindling. I get to focus more on our realtionship than pleasing

my nada. Trust me it helps

ta ta

[Guest guest]

Hi ,

You put this well. My day was pleasant w/ in-laws, however, just

feel like I'm holding everything in that has to do w/ FOO. Didn't

call NPD dad. Guilty about that. Than today two cards come in mail

from Nada for my kids. UGGGHHHHH! Stuffed them in the closet can't

deal with it. Would be better if she didn't send them at all and I

could just keep the internal war going and pretend on the outside

that nothings going on.

It is exhausting. I'm really beginning to think I need medication.

I'm just feeling fine about NC than she sends the cards. I'm letting

her do this to me right? It's not funny but they all seem to have

thier own pattern. I mean I should have known the cards would come

because that's what she's been doing to me for the last 5 months. So

I guess she thinks she's got a relationship with my kids when she

won't have one with me. More abuse I think. I think the cards are

just more abuse. I'm begining to think it's not so much that they're

for my kids but that it's the little twist of the knife. You know

like I won't talk to you but these are for your kids. Or more guilt,

you won't let me see my grandkids!

Sorry to go on. I just loooooovvvveeeee holidays. Don't you?

cntbreathe

>

> Gosh, how I missed you all yesterday! I don't have internet at home

> and I couldn't WAIT to get online this morning and check in!!

>

> so, i didn't go to FOO Easter. in fact, i have no idea how they

> spent easter. the closest anyone got to even inviting me was

> grandnada calling work last week, but i cut her off before she

could

> whinily invite me. wow for me!

>

> i went to church in the morning and then to a friend's for dinner.

I

> did get pretty upset last night, after all was said and done,

mostly

> just fighting my guilty guilty self. Honestly, I make myself feel

> worse than anyone else bc I feel like I am doing something wrong!

>

> externally, i had a fine day. it was simple and quiet. but

> internally i was warring. the quiet little girl in me said, " i want

> today to be quiet and fun. i don't wanna see mommy and daddy and

> everybody even though i miss them. i just wanna be safe today. " and

> the adult KO stood over her all day, screaming, " quiet and fun, on

a

> holiday? you idiot! on holidays you have to go to your

grandmother's

> house! you AT LEAST have to call your parents and wish them a good

> holiday! what kind of a kid are you? You are completely overly-

> emotional. why do you always overreact? you are such a drama queen.

> god, i hope someday a man will be able to HANDLE marrying you. AND

> you miss your family? what the heck is that about? you know they

are

> crazy and that there are medical terms for what is wrong with them?

> Ugh. will you ever learn? you want to be safe? you are a big baby. "

>

> The internal war continues, even though NO ONE is coming at me

> externally. I really hope that, eventually, that adult KO treats

the

> child me better. it is exhausting.

>

>

[Guest guest]

Hi ,

You put this well. My day was pleasant w/ in-laws, however, just

feel like I'm holding everything in that has to do w/ FOO. Didn't

call NPD dad. Guilty about that. Than today two cards come in mail

from Nada for my kids. UGGGHHHHH! Stuffed them in the closet can't

deal with it. Would be better if she didn't send them at all and I

could just keep the internal war going and pretend on the outside

that nothings going on.

It is exhausting. I'm really beginning to think I need medication.

I'm just feeling fine about NC than she sends the cards. I'm letting

her do this to me right? It's not funny but they all seem to have

thier own pattern. I mean I should have known the cards would come

because that's what she's been doing to me for the last 5 months. So

I guess she thinks she's got a relationship with my kids when she

won't have one with me. More abuse I think. I think the cards are

just more abuse. I'm begining to think it's not so much that they're

for my kids but that it's the little twist of the knife. You know

like I won't talk to you but these are for your kids. Or more guilt,

you won't let me see my grandkids!

Sorry to go on. I just loooooovvvveeeee holidays. Don't you?

cntbreathe

>

> Gosh, how I missed you all yesterday! I don't have internet at home

> and I couldn't WAIT to get online this morning and check in!!

>

> so, i didn't go to FOO Easter. in fact, i have no idea how they

> spent easter. the closest anyone got to even inviting me was

> grandnada calling work last week, but i cut her off before she

could

> whinily invite me. wow for me!

>

> i went to church in the morning and then to a friend's for dinner.

I

> did get pretty upset last night, after all was said and done,

mostly

> just fighting my guilty guilty self. Honestly, I make myself feel

> worse than anyone else bc I feel like I am doing something wrong!

>

> externally, i had a fine day. it was simple and quiet. but

> internally i was warring. the quiet little girl in me said, " i want

> today to be quiet and fun. i don't wanna see mommy and daddy and

> everybody even though i miss them. i just wanna be safe today. " and

> the adult KO stood over her all day, screaming, " quiet and fun, on

a

> holiday? you idiot! on holidays you have to go to your

grandmother's

> house! you AT LEAST have to call your parents and wish them a good

> holiday! what kind of a kid are you? You are completely overly-

> emotional. why do you always overreact? you are such a drama queen.

> god, i hope someday a man will be able to HANDLE marrying you. AND

> you miss your family? what the heck is that about? you know they

are

> crazy and that there are medical terms for what is wrong with them?

> Ugh. will you ever learn? you want to be safe? you are a big baby. "

>

> The internal war continues, even though NO ONE is coming at me

> externally. I really hope that, eventually, that adult KO treats

the

> child me better. it is exhausting.

>

>

[Guest guest]

Hi ,

You put this well. My day was pleasant w/ in-laws, however, just

feel like I'm holding everything in that has to do w/ FOO. Didn't

call NPD dad. Guilty about that. Than today two cards come in mail

from Nada for my kids. UGGGHHHHH! Stuffed them in the closet can't

deal with it. Would be better if she didn't send them at all and I

could just keep the internal war going and pretend on the outside

that nothings going on.

It is exhausting. I'm really beginning to think I need medication.

I'm just feeling fine about NC than she sends the cards. I'm letting

her do this to me right? It's not funny but they all seem to have

thier own pattern. I mean I should have known the cards would come

because that's what she's been doing to me for the last 5 months. So

I guess she thinks she's got a relationship with my kids when she

won't have one with me. More abuse I think. I think the cards are

just more abuse. I'm begining to think it's not so much that they're

for my kids but that it's the little twist of the knife. You know

like I won't talk to you but these are for your kids. Or more guilt,

you won't let me see my grandkids!

Sorry to go on. I just loooooovvvveeeee holidays. Don't you?

cntbreathe

>

> Gosh, how I missed you all yesterday! I don't have internet at home

> and I couldn't WAIT to get online this morning and check in!!

>

> so, i didn't go to FOO Easter. in fact, i have no idea how they

> spent easter. the closest anyone got to even inviting me was

> grandnada calling work last week, but i cut her off before she

could

> whinily invite me. wow for me!

>

> i went to church in the morning and then to a friend's for dinner.

I

> did get pretty upset last night, after all was said and done,

mostly

> just fighting my guilty guilty self. Honestly, I make myself feel

> worse than anyone else bc I feel like I am doing something wrong!

>

> externally, i had a fine day. it was simple and quiet. but

> internally i was warring. the quiet little girl in me said, " i want

> today to be quiet and fun. i don't wanna see mommy and daddy and

> everybody even though i miss them. i just wanna be safe today. " and

> the adult KO stood over her all day, screaming, " quiet and fun, on

a

> holiday? you idiot! on holidays you have to go to your

grandmother's

> house! you AT LEAST have to call your parents and wish them a good

> holiday! what kind of a kid are you? You are completely overly-

> emotional. why do you always overreact? you are such a drama queen.

> god, i hope someday a man will be able to HANDLE marrying you. AND

> you miss your family? what the heck is that about? you know they

are

> crazy and that there are medical terms for what is wrong with them?

> Ugh. will you ever learn? you want to be safe? you are a big baby. "

>

> The internal war continues, even though NO ONE is coming at me

> externally. I really hope that, eventually, that adult KO treats

the

> child me better. it is exhausting.

>

>

[Guest guest]

Yes, yes!! That's what my nada does. Just last week nada told my

daughter, " I will be here for whenever you need me " right after

making comments that nada thought I had made fun of my daughter

wanting to play with toy horses the week before. I was not making fun

and daughter knew I was not. Daughter is 14 so some people think it's

weird for her to want to play with toy horses but I think it's cute

and nifty. Somehow nada thought I was making fun of her when I asked

her if she was going to open the new package of horses she got to play

with them. So, of course, nada tells daughter that nada will be

there for daughter whenever she needs her (of course - for things like

when I reject my own daughter by making fun of her -NOT!) That would

be such a nada dream come true. I think the same thing about cards

as you do. I am now allergic to cards; can't stand to look at them or

have to send them to anyone. It's all guilt trips and " you should

do this for family " stuff. Gag!

Theresa

> I guess she thinks she's got a relationship with my kids when she

> won't have one with me. More abuse I think. I think the cards are

> just more abuse. I'm begining to think it's not so much that they're

> for my kids but that it's the little twist of the knife. You know

> like I won't talk to you but these are for your kids. Or more guilt,

> you won't let me see my grandkids!

> Sorry to go on. I just loooooovvvveeeee holidays. Don't you?

> cntbreathe

>

>

> >

> > Gosh, how I missed you all yesterday! I don't have internet at home

> > and I couldn't WAIT to get online this morning and check in!!

> >

> > so, i didn't go to FOO Easter. in fact, i have no idea how they

> > spent easter. the closest anyone got to even inviting me was

> > grandnada calling work last week, but i cut her off before she

> could

> > whinily invite me. wow for me!

> >

> > i went to church in the morning and then to a friend's for dinner.

> I

> > did get pretty upset last night, after all was said and done,

> mostly

> > just fighting my guilty guilty self. Honestly, I make myself feel

> > worse than anyone else bc I feel like I am doing something wrong!

> >

> > externally, i had a fine day. it was simple and quiet. but

> > internally i was warring. the quiet little girl in me said, " i want

> > today to be quiet and fun. i don't wanna see mommy and daddy and

> > everybody even though i miss them. i just wanna be safe today. " and

> > the adult KO stood over her all day, screaming, " quiet and fun, on

> a

> > holiday? you idiot! on holidays you have to go to your

> grandmother's

> > house! you AT LEAST have to call your parents and wish them a good

> > holiday! what kind of a kid are you? You are completely overly-

> > emotional. why do you always overreact? you are such a drama queen.

> > god, i hope someday a man will be able to HANDLE marrying you. AND

> > you miss your family? what the heck is that about? you know they

> are

> > crazy and that there are medical terms for what is wrong with them?

> > Ugh. will you ever learn? you want to be safe? you are a big baby. "

> >

> > The internal war continues, even though NO ONE is coming at me

> > externally. I really hope that, eventually, that adult KO treats

> the

> > child me better. it is exhausting.

> >

> >

>

>

> Send questions and/or concerns to ModOasis-owner

> " Stop Walking on Eggshells, " a primer for non-BPs, can be ordered via

1-888-35-SHELL () and for the table of contents, go to:

> http://www.BPDCentral.com

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

Yes, yes!! That's what my nada does. Just last week nada told my

daughter, " I will be here for whenever you need me " right after

making comments that nada thought I had made fun of my daughter

wanting to play with toy horses the week before. I was not making fun

and daughter knew I was not. Daughter is 14 so some people think it's

weird for her to want to play with toy horses but I think it's cute

and nifty. Somehow nada thought I was making fun of her when I asked

her if she was going to open the new package of horses she got to play

with them. So, of course, nada tells daughter that nada will be

there for daughter whenever she needs her (of course - for things like

when I reject my own daughter by making fun of her -NOT!) That would

be such a nada dream come true. I think the same thing about cards

as you do. I am now allergic to cards; can't stand to look at them or

have to send them to anyone. It's all guilt trips and " you should

do this for family " stuff. Gag!

Theresa

> I guess she thinks she's got a relationship with my kids when she

> won't have one with me. More abuse I think. I think the cards are

> just more abuse. I'm begining to think it's not so much that they're

> for my kids but that it's the little twist of the knife. You know

> like I won't talk to you but these are for your kids. Or more guilt,

> you won't let me see my grandkids!

> Sorry to go on. I just loooooovvvveeeee holidays. Don't you?

> cntbreathe

>

>

> >

> > Gosh, how I missed you all yesterday! I don't have internet at home

> > and I couldn't WAIT to get online this morning and check in!!

> >

> > so, i didn't go to FOO Easter. in fact, i have no idea how they

> > spent easter. the closest anyone got to even inviting me was

> > grandnada calling work last week, but i cut her off before she

> could

> > whinily invite me. wow for me!

> >

> > i went to church in the morning and then to a friend's for dinner.

> I

> > did get pretty upset last night, after all was said and done,

> mostly

> > just fighting my guilty guilty self. Honestly, I make myself feel

> > worse than anyone else bc I feel like I am doing something wrong!

> >

> > externally, i had a fine day. it was simple and quiet. but

> > internally i was warring. the quiet little girl in me said, " i want

> > today to be quiet and fun. i don't wanna see mommy and daddy and

> > everybody even though i miss them. i just wanna be safe today. " and

> > the adult KO stood over her all day, screaming, " quiet and fun, on

> a

> > holiday? you idiot! on holidays you have to go to your

> grandmother's

> > house! you AT LEAST have to call your parents and wish them a good

> > holiday! what kind of a kid are you? You are completely overly-

> > emotional. why do you always overreact? you are such a drama queen.

> > god, i hope someday a man will be able to HANDLE marrying you. AND

> > you miss your family? what the heck is that about? you know they

> are

> > crazy and that there are medical terms for what is wrong with them?

> > Ugh. will you ever learn? you want to be safe? you are a big baby. "

> >

> > The internal war continues, even though NO ONE is coming at me

> > externally. I really hope that, eventually, that adult KO treats

> the

> > child me better. it is exhausting.

> >

> >

>

>

> Send questions and/or concerns to ModOasis-owner

> " Stop Walking on Eggshells, " a primer for non-BPs, can be ordered via

1-888-35-SHELL () and for the table of contents, go to:

> http://www.BPDCentral.com

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

Yes, yes!! That's what my nada does. Just last week nada told my

daughter, " I will be here for whenever you need me " right after

making comments that nada thought I had made fun of my daughter

wanting to play with toy horses the week before. I was not making fun

and daughter knew I was not. Daughter is 14 so some people think it's

weird for her to want to play with toy horses but I think it's cute

and nifty. Somehow nada thought I was making fun of her when I asked

her if she was going to open the new package of horses she got to play

with them. So, of course, nada tells daughter that nada will be

there for daughter whenever she needs her (of course - for things like

when I reject my own daughter by making fun of her -NOT!) That would

be such a nada dream come true. I think the same thing about cards

as you do. I am now allergic to cards; can't stand to look at them or

have to send them to anyone. It's all guilt trips and " you should

do this for family " stuff. Gag!

Theresa

> I guess she thinks she's got a relationship with my kids when she

> won't have one with me. More abuse I think. I think the cards are

> just more abuse. I'm begining to think it's not so much that they're

> for my kids but that it's the little twist of the knife. You know

> like I won't talk to you but these are for your kids. Or more guilt,

> you won't let me see my grandkids!

> Sorry to go on. I just loooooovvvveeeee holidays. Don't you?

> cntbreathe

>

>

> >

> > Gosh, how I missed you all yesterday! I don't have internet at home

> > and I couldn't WAIT to get online this morning and check in!!

> >

> > so, i didn't go to FOO Easter. in fact, i have no idea how they

> > spent easter. the closest anyone got to even inviting me was

> > grandnada calling work last week, but i cut her off before she

> could

> > whinily invite me. wow for me!

> >

> > i went to church in the morning and then to a friend's for dinner.

> I

> > did get pretty upset last night, after all was said and done,

> mostly

> > just fighting my guilty guilty self. Honestly, I make myself feel

> > worse than anyone else bc I feel like I am doing something wrong!

> >

> > externally, i had a fine day. it was simple and quiet. but

> > internally i was warring. the quiet little girl in me said, " i want

> > today to be quiet and fun. i don't wanna see mommy and daddy and

> > everybody even though i miss them. i just wanna be safe today. " and

> > the adult KO stood over her all day, screaming, " quiet and fun, on

> a

> > holiday? you idiot! on holidays you have to go to your

> grandmother's

> > house! you AT LEAST have to call your parents and wish them a good

> > holiday! what kind of a kid are you? You are completely overly-

> > emotional. why do you always overreact? you are such a drama queen.

> > god, i hope someday a man will be able to HANDLE marrying you. AND

> > you miss your family? what the heck is that about? you know they

> are

> > crazy and that there are medical terms for what is wrong with them?

> > Ugh. will you ever learn? you want to be safe? you are a big baby. "

> >

> > The internal war continues, even though NO ONE is coming at me

> > externally. I really hope that, eventually, that adult KO treats

> the

> > child me better. it is exhausting.

> >

> >

>

>

> Send questions and/or concerns to ModOasis-owner

> " Stop Walking on Eggshells, " a primer for non-BPs, can be ordered via

1-888-35-SHELL () and for the table of contents, go to:

> http://www.BPDCentral.com

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

>

> Gosh, how I missed you all yesterday! I don't have internet at home

> and I couldn't WAIT to get online this morning and check in!!

>

> so, i didn't go to FOO Easter. in fact, i have no idea how they

> spent easter. the closest anyone got to even inviting me was

> grandnada calling work last week, but i cut her off before she

could

> whinily invite me. wow for me!

>

> i went to church in the morning and then to a friend's for dinner.

I

> did get pretty upset last night, after all was said and done,

mostly

> just fighting my guilty guilty self. Honestly, I make myself feel

> worse than anyone else bc I feel like I am doing something wrong!

****Because everytime we stood up for ourselves, or did something for

ourselves, our nadas made us feel that what we did was wrong, and we

have internalized that message. Nada doens't have to tell us

anymore, cause we do it for her.

>

> externally, i had a fine day. it was simple and quiet. but

> internally i was warring. the quiet little girl in me said, " i want

> today to be quiet and fun. i don't wanna see mommy and daddy and

> everybody even though i miss them. i just wanna be safe today. " and

> the adult KO stood over her all day, screaming, " quiet and fun, on

a

> holiday? you idiot! on holidays you have to go to your

grandmother's

> house! you AT LEAST have to call your parents and wish them a good

> holiday! what kind of a kid are you? You are completely overly-

> emotional. why do you always overreact? you are such a drama queen.

> god, i hope someday a man will be able to HANDLE marrying you. AND

> you miss your family? what the heck is that about? you know they

are

> crazy and that there are medical terms for what is wrong with them?

> Ugh. will you ever learn? you want to be safe? you are a big baby. "

****Are you sure that is the adult KO? Sounds like another version

of a nada tape to me. I have had success with my therapist's

suggestion, scream or yell back at that voice - SHUT UP! - (and feel

free to add any expletives you want to that.) It has taken me

probably 6 months to perfect this technique, but it sure does work

well. Evidently, it is important to attack this negative self-talk

on an emotional level, cause that is where it is coming from. I am

not real comfortable with yelling, even in my own head. But I do it

cause it works.

Sylvia

>

> The internal war continues, even though NO ONE is coming at me

> externally. I really hope that, eventually, that adult KO treats

the

> child me better. it is exhausting.

>

>

[Guest guest]

>

> Gosh, how I missed you all yesterday! I don't have internet at home

> and I couldn't WAIT to get online this morning and check in!!

>

> so, i didn't go to FOO Easter. in fact, i have no idea how they

> spent easter. the closest anyone got to even inviting me was

> grandnada calling work last week, but i cut her off before she

could

> whinily invite me. wow for me!

>

> i went to church in the morning and then to a friend's for dinner.

I

> did get pretty upset last night, after all was said and done,

mostly

> just fighting my guilty guilty self. Honestly, I make myself feel

> worse than anyone else bc I feel like I am doing something wrong!

****Because everytime we stood up for ourselves, or did something for

ourselves, our nadas made us feel that what we did was wrong, and we

have internalized that message. Nada doens't have to tell us

anymore, cause we do it for her.

>

> externally, i had a fine day. it was simple and quiet. but

> internally i was warring. the quiet little girl in me said, " i want

> today to be quiet and fun. i don't wanna see mommy and daddy and

> everybody even though i miss them. i just wanna be safe today. " and

> the adult KO stood over her all day, screaming, " quiet and fun, on

a

> holiday? you idiot! on holidays you have to go to your

grandmother's

> house! you AT LEAST have to call your parents and wish them a good

> holiday! what kind of a kid are you? You are completely overly-

> emotional. why do you always overreact? you are such a drama queen.

> god, i hope someday a man will be able to HANDLE marrying you. AND

> you miss your family? what the heck is that about? you know they

are

> crazy and that there are medical terms for what is wrong with them?

> Ugh. will you ever learn? you want to be safe? you are a big baby. "

****Are you sure that is the adult KO? Sounds like another version

of a nada tape to me. I have had success with my therapist's

suggestion, scream or yell back at that voice - SHUT UP! - (and feel

free to add any expletives you want to that.) It has taken me

probably 6 months to perfect this technique, but it sure does work

well. Evidently, it is important to attack this negative self-talk

on an emotional level, cause that is where it is coming from. I am

not real comfortable with yelling, even in my own head. But I do it

cause it works.

Sylvia

>

> The internal war continues, even though NO ONE is coming at me

> externally. I really hope that, eventually, that adult KO treats

the

> child me better. it is exhausting.

>

>

[Guest guest]

The Easter cards to my children.... and nothing for me(on Christmas,

on Valentines Day, and now on Easter). It is all just a guilt thing.

And in my oldest child's card, grandnada drew a sad crying face,

saying " call your old granny " .... Is it OK to just throw this

garbage away????? And, cntbreathe, you are right- a 'twist of the

knife' is what it is. Nada is saying " I will not communicate with

you, you are not good enough, but let me talk to me sweet angel

grandchildren... they know I am a good granny. "

Kind of reminds me of Hansel and Gretel- grandnada is luring them

into a candy house.. then she will gobble them up!! (Oooo... thats a

scary thought)

Nada will not call here, thank goodness. It has been Christmas eve

since there was contact- and I like it. And like so many of you, I

always feel like I am waiting for 'the other shoe' to drop. I told

my hubby I was feeling this overwhelming sense of doom... he said -

you are just anticipating what she might do next. He is right I

think.

I did not call her on Easter, nor did I send a card. But we ALLL

know what is just around the corner....... MOTHER'S DAY!!!!!

We should probably all start kicking around what we are planning for

that day.

Thanks for all being there- I read a lot more than I post. I am kind

of an introvert...

KC

> >

> > Gosh, how I missed you all yesterday! I don't have internet at

home

> > and I couldn't WAIT to get online this morning and check in!!

> >

> > so, i didn't go to FOO Easter. in fact, i have no idea how they

> > spent easter. the closest anyone got to even inviting me was

> > grandnada calling work last week, but i cut her off before she

> could

> > whinily invite me. wow for me!

> >

> > i went to church in the morning and then to a friend's for

dinner.

> I

> > did get pretty upset last night, after all was said and done,

> mostly

> > just fighting my guilty guilty self. Honestly, I make myself

feel

> > worse than anyone else bc I feel like I am doing something wrong!

> >

> > externally, i had a fine day. it was simple and quiet. but

> > internally i was warring. the quiet little girl in me said, " i

want

> > today to be quiet and fun. i don't wanna see mommy and daddy and

> > everybody even though i miss them. i just wanna be safe today. "

and

> > the adult KO stood over her all day, screaming, " quiet and fun,

on

> a

> > holiday? you idiot! on holidays you have to go to your

> grandmother's

> > house! you AT LEAST have to call your parents and wish them a

good

> > holiday! what kind of a kid are you? You are completely overly-

> > emotional. why do you always overreact? you are such a drama

queen.

> > god, i hope someday a man will be able to HANDLE marrying you.

AND

> > you miss your family? what the heck is that about? you know they

> are

> > crazy and that there are medical terms for what is wrong with

them?

> > Ugh. will you ever learn? you want to be safe? you are a big

baby. "

> >

> > The internal war continues, even though NO ONE is coming at me

> > externally. I really hope that, eventually, that adult KO treats

> the

> > child me better. it is exhausting.

> >

> >

[Guest guest]

The Easter cards to my children.... and nothing for me(on Christmas,

on Valentines Day, and now on Easter). It is all just a guilt thing.

And in my oldest child's card, grandnada drew a sad crying face,

saying " call your old granny " .... Is it OK to just throw this

garbage away????? And, cntbreathe, you are right- a 'twist of the

knife' is what it is. Nada is saying " I will not communicate with

you, you are not good enough, but let me talk to me sweet angel

grandchildren... they know I am a good granny. "

Kind of reminds me of Hansel and Gretel- grandnada is luring them

into a candy house.. then she will gobble them up!! (Oooo... thats a

scary thought)

Nada will not call here, thank goodness. It has been Christmas eve

since there was contact- and I like it. And like so many of you, I

always feel like I am waiting for 'the other shoe' to drop. I told

my hubby I was feeling this overwhelming sense of doom... he said -

you are just anticipating what she might do next. He is right I

think.

I did not call her on Easter, nor did I send a card. But we ALLL

know what is just around the corner....... MOTHER'S DAY!!!!!

We should probably all start kicking around what we are planning for

that day.

Thanks for all being there- I read a lot more than I post. I am kind

of an introvert...

KC

> >

> > Gosh, how I missed you all yesterday! I don't have internet at

home

> > and I couldn't WAIT to get online this morning and check in!!

> >

> > so, i didn't go to FOO Easter. in fact, i have no idea how they

> > spent easter. the closest anyone got to even inviting me was

> > grandnada calling work last week, but i cut her off before she

> could

> > whinily invite me. wow for me!

> >

> > i went to church in the morning and then to a friend's for

dinner.

> I

> > did get pretty upset last night, after all was said and done,

> mostly

> > just fighting my guilty guilty self. Honestly, I make myself

feel

> > worse than anyone else bc I feel like I am doing something wrong!

> >

> > externally, i had a fine day. it was simple and quiet. but

> > internally i was warring. the quiet little girl in me said, " i

want

> > today to be quiet and fun. i don't wanna see mommy and daddy and

> > everybody even though i miss them. i just wanna be safe today. "

and

> > the adult KO stood over her all day, screaming, " quiet and fun,

on

> a

> > holiday? you idiot! on holidays you have to go to your

> grandmother's

> > house! you AT LEAST have to call your parents and wish them a

good

> > holiday! what kind of a kid are you? You are completely overly-

> > emotional. why do you always overreact? you are such a drama

queen.

> > god, i hope someday a man will be able to HANDLE marrying you.

AND

> > you miss your family? what the heck is that about? you know they

> are

> > crazy and that there are medical terms for what is wrong with

them?

> > Ugh. will you ever learn? you want to be safe? you are a big

baby. "

> >

> > The internal war continues, even though NO ONE is coming at me

> > externally. I really hope that, eventually, that adult KO treats

> the

> > child me better. it is exhausting.

> >

> >

[Guest guest]

The Easter cards to my children.... and nothing for me(on Christmas,

on Valentines Day, and now on Easter). It is all just a guilt thing.

And in my oldest child's card, grandnada drew a sad crying face,

saying " call your old granny " .... Is it OK to just throw this

garbage away????? And, cntbreathe, you are right- a 'twist of the

knife' is what it is. Nada is saying " I will not communicate with

you, you are not good enough, but let me talk to me sweet angel

grandchildren... they know I am a good granny. "

Kind of reminds me of Hansel and Gretel- grandnada is luring them

into a candy house.. then she will gobble them up!! (Oooo... thats a

scary thought)

Nada will not call here, thank goodness. It has been Christmas eve

since there was contact- and I like it. And like so many of you, I

always feel like I am waiting for 'the other shoe' to drop. I told

my hubby I was feeling this overwhelming sense of doom... he said -

you are just anticipating what she might do next. He is right I

think.

I did not call her on Easter, nor did I send a card. But we ALLL

know what is just around the corner....... MOTHER'S DAY!!!!!

We should probably all start kicking around what we are planning for

that day.

Thanks for all being there- I read a lot more than I post. I am kind

of an introvert...

KC

> >

> > Gosh, how I missed you all yesterday! I don't have internet at

home

> > and I couldn't WAIT to get online this morning and check in!!

> >

> > so, i didn't go to FOO Easter. in fact, i have no idea how they

> > spent easter. the closest anyone got to even inviting me was

> > grandnada calling work last week, but i cut her off before she

> could

> > whinily invite me. wow for me!

> >

> > i went to church in the morning and then to a friend's for

dinner.

> I

> > did get pretty upset last night, after all was said and done,

> mostly

> > just fighting my guilty guilty self. Honestly, I make myself

feel

> > worse than anyone else bc I feel like I am doing something wrong!

> >

> > externally, i had a fine day. it was simple and quiet. but

> > internally i was warring. the quiet little girl in me said, " i

want

> > today to be quiet and fun. i don't wanna see mommy and daddy and

> > everybody even though i miss them. i just wanna be safe today. "

and

> > the adult KO stood over her all day, screaming, " quiet and fun,

on

> a

> > holiday? you idiot! on holidays you have to go to your

> grandmother's

> > house! you AT LEAST have to call your parents and wish them a

good

> > holiday! what kind of a kid are you? You are completely overly-

> > emotional. why do you always overreact? you are such a drama

queen.

> > god, i hope someday a man will be able to HANDLE marrying you.

AND

> > you miss your family? what the heck is that about? you know they

> are

> > crazy and that there are medical terms for what is wrong with

them?

> > Ugh. will you ever learn? you want to be safe? you are a big

baby. "

> >

> > The internal war continues, even though NO ONE is coming at me

> > externally. I really hope that, eventually, that adult KO treats

> the

> > child me better. it is exhausting.

> >

> >