Re: teary eyes and countenence

[Guest guest]

I have to admit the lack of money and its attendant indignities gets to me also.

Some months I'm living on rice and beans the last week or so and the all

carbohydrate diet seems to have a negative effect on my mood as well. Then the

menopause/perimenopause issue may further complicate things. If the mood doesn't

last too long a good cry or two may be in order. Otherwise you might want to

talk with your Dr.

Jana

teary eyes and countenence

[Guest guest]

Hi Sharon:

You are absolutely entitled to have a down day and to be able to talk about it

all you want. I have at least a day per week that I just get teary-eyed over

the least little thing. I don't expect to be bouncy all the time because I've

got a great big disease that I'll have forever and some smaller ones as well.

Just yesterday, I was talking to my therapist about how rotten I felt that there

are people I know who are like over 80 years old and just bop around with

limitless energy and enthusiasm. My daughter's in-laws are like that and both

have had knee surgery during the past two years. However, they go traveling to

fun places, do volunteer work, still take care of the house and yard, raise

vegetables, and make themselves available for taking care of the grandchildren.

I just reached age 62 and spend half my time lying down which I am doing right

now - actually sitting with my legs propped up because sitting in a regular

chair does something weird to my legs and then I am not able to stand up very

well. So what I'm saying is, I really understand what you are saying as each

day melts into the day after that and the day after that and........

I know it would be quick and easy to find some pill to take in order not to feel

the way you're feeling, but from personal experience I find those pills to cause

way more problems that just experiencing the feelings that I feel which I know

will ultimately go by the wayside. Actually having a really good cry, with

sobbing and everything, makes me feel lots better afterward, sort of cleansed

and looking at a clean slate. Sure, it's a darn pain in the backside to have to

make it through life on a limited income. On the other hand, I remember some of

my best times in life were when I was really financially strapped - I found some

really creative ways to stretch what little money I had. It's amazing what you

can find in the alley trash cans in some of the better neighborhoods of the

city. I used to find clothes with the tags still on, perfectly good furniture

just tossed aside because the lady of the house was redecorating, it was like a

treasure hunt. Right this minute, tomorrow is looking like a repeat of today to

you but it really won't be because you changed that equation when you bought the

two books which I consider wonderful investments, better and more reliable than

stocks and bonds any day. If you feel like having a good cry, why shouldn't you

just go ahead and have one? Why does there have to be a great big solid reason

for one? In the days before people were given tranquilizers if they happened to

be feeling a bit of sadness, it was considered just fine to cry over just about

anything. Women had it the best, because they were considered the more

sensitive gender and thus were entitled to cry when something was worth crying

about. Men, unfortunately, started to get brain-washed into believing that if

they expressed any emotion they would immediately turn into a eunuch. My spouse

was raised according to that philosophy.

Sharon, you do probably have some pre-menopausal symptoms or could actually be

entering that phase of things. And if that's the case, you are going to have

some upsy-downsy mood changes, believe me. For most of my forties, my emotions

swung around like a monkey on a chandelier while my periods came and went or

didn't come at all or came twice in one month, etc. When I was 48, I started

getting severe pain along with my periods when they showed up. The GYN did an

ultra-sound and it showed I had some sizable fibroids so I underwent a total

hysterectomy. Right after that, I was started on estrogen and I felt so much

better to not have to deal with all that stuff that was going on before. I am

still a person who cried easily (at movies, listening to music, hearing

someone's troubles, etc.) but I accept that as part of myself now and wouldn't

change that part of myself ever. Please don't feel embarassed or any other

negative thing because you feel things. What would be much more worrisome would

be if you didn't feel things.

Do you have a gynecologist that you see on a regular basis? It might be a good

time to visit the doctor about where things are with your cycle and because I

think maybe the slow diminishment of estrogen in your body as you approach

menopause is why you are experiencing the things you've described. My

daughter's 40 and she started having some symptoms for which her regular doctor

prescribed Prozac. Suddenly, she started getting panic attacks all the time.

So then she went t see her GYN who took her off Prozac and put her on a very

weak estrogen med and my daughter feels better than she has felt in years. She

needs all her wits about her with three kids and four dogs.

Hope this helps but please don't ever be apologetic for having feelings that are

shared by so many of us. You're entitled to these feelings because you're a

woman and this is how it goes for us gals. Take care!

Hugs from

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[Guest guest]

Hi Sharon:

You are absolutely entitled to have a down day and to be able to talk about it

all you want. I have at least a day per week that I just get teary-eyed over

the least little thing. I don't expect to be bouncy all the time because I've

got a great big disease that I'll have forever and some smaller ones as well.

Just yesterday, I was talking to my therapist about how rotten I felt that there

are people I know who are like over 80 years old and just bop around with

limitless energy and enthusiasm. My daughter's in-laws are like that and both

have had knee surgery during the past two years. However, they go traveling to

fun places, do volunteer work, still take care of the house and yard, raise

vegetables, and make themselves available for taking care of the grandchildren.

I just reached age 62 and spend half my time lying down which I am doing right

now - actually sitting with my legs propped up because sitting in a regular

chair does something weird to my legs and then I am not able to stand up very

well. So what I'm saying is, I really understand what you are saying as each

day melts into the day after that and the day after that and........

I know it would be quick and easy to find some pill to take in order not to feel

the way you're feeling, but from personal experience I find those pills to cause

way more problems that just experiencing the feelings that I feel which I know

will ultimately go by the wayside. Actually having a really good cry, with

sobbing and everything, makes me feel lots better afterward, sort of cleansed

and looking at a clean slate. Sure, it's a darn pain in the backside to have to

make it through life on a limited income. On the other hand, I remember some of

my best times in life were when I was really financially strapped - I found some

really creative ways to stretch what little money I had. It's amazing what you

can find in the alley trash cans in some of the better neighborhoods of the

city. I used to find clothes with the tags still on, perfectly good furniture

just tossed aside because the lady of the house was redecorating, it was like a

treasure hunt. Right this minute, tomorrow is looking like a repeat of today to

you but it really won't be because you changed that equation when you bought the

two books which I consider wonderful investments, better and more reliable than

stocks and bonds any day. If you feel like having a good cry, why shouldn't you

just go ahead and have one? Why does there have to be a great big solid reason

for one? In the days before people were given tranquilizers if they happened to

be feeling a bit of sadness, it was considered just fine to cry over just about

anything. Women had it the best, because they were considered the more

sensitive gender and thus were entitled to cry when something was worth crying

about. Men, unfortunately, started to get brain-washed into believing that if

they expressed any emotion they would immediately turn into a eunuch. My spouse

was raised according to that philosophy.

Sharon, you do probably have some pre-menopausal symptoms or could actually be

entering that phase of things. And if that's the case, you are going to have

some upsy-downsy mood changes, believe me. For most of my forties, my emotions

swung around like a monkey on a chandelier while my periods came and went or

didn't come at all or came twice in one month, etc. When I was 48, I started

getting severe pain along with my periods when they showed up. The GYN did an

ultra-sound and it showed I had some sizable fibroids so I underwent a total

hysterectomy. Right after that, I was started on estrogen and I felt so much

better to not have to deal with all that stuff that was going on before. I am

still a person who cried easily (at movies, listening to music, hearing

someone's troubles, etc.) but I accept that as part of myself now and wouldn't

change that part of myself ever. Please don't feel embarassed or any other

negative thing because you feel things. What would be much more worrisome would

be if you didn't feel things.

Do you have a gynecologist that you see on a regular basis? It might be a good

time to visit the doctor about where things are with your cycle and because I

think maybe the slow diminishment of estrogen in your body as you approach

menopause is why you are experiencing the things you've described. My

daughter's 40 and she started having some symptoms for which her regular doctor

prescribed Prozac. Suddenly, she started getting panic attacks all the time.

So then she went t see her GYN who took her off Prozac and put her on a very

weak estrogen med and my daughter feels better than she has felt in years. She

needs all her wits about her with three kids and four dogs.

Hope this helps but please don't ever be apologetic for having feelings that are

shared by so many of us. You're entitled to these feelings because you're a

woman and this is how it goes for us gals. Take care!

Hugs from

Know someone who could benefit from our list? Send our direct sign-up URL:

http://www.yahoogroups.com/subscribe.cgi/chronic_pain or write us at:

chronic_pain-listowner

Manage your subscription with several special email addresses:

chronic_pain-owner - Sends email to the list owners

chronic_pain-subscribe - Subscribe to the list through email

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chronic_pain-digest - Switch your subscription to digest

[Guest guest]

Oh, my soon to be adoptive Mum,

I am so sorry to hear you are down, but I am glad you are willing to share your

other pain with us. Don't feel bad about it, you are right when you have posted

that this group is so open and understanding. I in no way want to belittle the

pain your feeling inside, but I think we all go through it and it gives us

understanding, only a few weeks ago I found myself breaking down and crying over

the silliest things, but it passed and you will come through this too.

I have this theory about life being like the moon. We live in cycles where we

wax in happiness, are full at our highest points, but when you are at the full

there is not a higher place to go so we then wain and sometimes find the

darkness, but the cycle always lets us wax into the full of life again. I

always try to remember when I am at my darkest and its hard to believe things

will ever be right, that my time to wax and be full is coming again soon, I just

have to give myself time.

Its not easy not to get discouraged when our lives are touched by such physical

pain that everything we do is a struggle. It sounds too like the change of life

may be approaching you which is a biological response that is beyond our control

and does effect our emotions traumatically. It makes it all that much harder

for those of us who are put into financial straights because our pain will not

allow us to be productive enough to be financially secure. I've been homeless

before and Its only been a few months that I was almost suicidal thinking I was

going to be homeless again, only this time while too ill to deal with the dire

situation homelessness and hunger can cause. I do understand.

I am hoping since you are such a bright and lovely soul that you will be

bouncing again soon. You should talk with your doctor. I understand there are

hormonal supplements you can take to help you through menopause if thats whats

troubling you. I'm sure with the health problems you should take advantage of

any help you can get to overcome the depression from the change of life. You

have enough to deal with as it is.

Let me tell you a little secret about when I was down a few weeks ago. Do you

know what made me feel better, better enough to laugh and have tears from

feeling better instead of from being down?

You did! When you suggested we finger paint the walls of my new room! I got to

giggling, then laughing at the thought and the next thing I knew I had tears of

laughter rolling down my cheeks at the thought of how fun and nice that would

be. I guess this is a good time to thank you, you made a difference in my life,

a turning point and I bet you never knew it. Thank you Mum.

You and the other members of this group are always in my thoughts.

Be well and gentle hugs,

(your soon to be adoptive daughter)

We shall share some devilish times! But only if you tell me where the toes on

my brain are located?

Sharon wrote:

g'day everyone,

I absolutely hate to post a mood downer. But I feel really awful. Not

like me as I know me at all.

I'm tearing up nearly all the time. Just then I teared up. And they

come totally unbidden too. It's not like they are reacting to a subject

or topic. It's a sort of thing that they are just there. And i'm not

bouncing like me either.

[Guest guest]

Oh, my soon to be adoptive Mum,

I am so sorry to hear you are down, but I am glad you are willing to share your

other pain with us. Don't feel bad about it, you are right when you have posted

that this group is so open and understanding. I in no way want to belittle the

pain your feeling inside, but I think we all go through it and it gives us

understanding, only a few weeks ago I found myself breaking down and crying over

the silliest things, but it passed and you will come through this too.

I have this theory about life being like the moon. We live in cycles where we

wax in happiness, are full at our highest points, but when you are at the full

there is not a higher place to go so we then wain and sometimes find the

darkness, but the cycle always lets us wax into the full of life again. I

always try to remember when I am at my darkest and its hard to believe things

will ever be right, that my time to wax and be full is coming again soon, I just

have to give myself time.

Its not easy not to get discouraged when our lives are touched by such physical

pain that everything we do is a struggle. It sounds too like the change of life

may be approaching you which is a biological response that is beyond our control

and does effect our emotions traumatically. It makes it all that much harder

for those of us who are put into financial straights because our pain will not

allow us to be productive enough to be financially secure. I've been homeless

before and Its only been a few months that I was almost suicidal thinking I was

going to be homeless again, only this time while too ill to deal with the dire

situation homelessness and hunger can cause. I do understand.

I am hoping since you are such a bright and lovely soul that you will be

bouncing again soon. You should talk with your doctor. I understand there are

hormonal supplements you can take to help you through menopause if thats whats

troubling you. I'm sure with the health problems you should take advantage of

any help you can get to overcome the depression from the change of life. You

have enough to deal with as it is.

Let me tell you a little secret about when I was down a few weeks ago. Do you

know what made me feel better, better enough to laugh and have tears from

feeling better instead of from being down?

You did! When you suggested we finger paint the walls of my new room! I got to

giggling, then laughing at the thought and the next thing I knew I had tears of

laughter rolling down my cheeks at the thought of how fun and nice that would

be. I guess this is a good time to thank you, you made a difference in my life,

a turning point and I bet you never knew it. Thank you Mum.

You and the other members of this group are always in my thoughts.

Be well and gentle hugs,

(your soon to be adoptive daughter)

We shall share some devilish times! But only if you tell me where the toes on

my brain are located?

Sharon wrote:

g'day everyone,

I absolutely hate to post a mood downer. But I feel really awful. Not

like me as I know me at all.

I'm tearing up nearly all the time. Just then I teared up. And they

come totally unbidden too. It's not like they are reacting to a subject

or topic. It's a sort of thing that they are just there. And i'm not

bouncing like me either.

[Guest guest]

So happy you shared with all of us. Thank you. bummback

wrote:Oh, my soon to be adoptive Mum,

I am so sorry to hear you are down, but I am glad you are willing to share your

other pain with us. Don't feel bad about it, you are right when you have posted

that this group is so open and understanding. I in no way want to belittle the

pain your feeling inside, but I think we all go through it and it gives us

understanding, only a few weeks ago I found myself breaking down and crying over

the silliest things, but it passed and you will come through this too.

[Guest guest]

THANK YOU TO ABSOLUTELY EVERYONE!

* * * * * * * *

Kaylene Goyette wrote:

>

> Menopause is also a possibility... The progestin made me feel

> absolutely mad so I

> quit taking it.

That's summat to give good thought too.

>

> Anyway it sounds like you have a variety of reasons to feel tearful.

I do at the minute.

> Sometimes I just get weary of the constancy of the pain and all the

> things I

> can't do anymore and sob and sob for a bit.

Yes it's the day in and day out, and it's all out of my control. I

believe you can do anything within reason in your life.

Now i'm being held back by things out of my control and with no way to

seek respite. But I will find a way out of this.

I'll let you know when I do. :-)

>

> Sometimes it's okay to cry a bit for the life we have had stolen from us.

Yes it is isn't it. I can adjust, but try telling my brain that this

last few weeks.

>

> If the " teary eyes " continue for more than 2 weeks you might want to see

> your doctor for a check up and perhaps see a counsellor.

:-) Seeing one on Monday! Psychologist.

> Having someone who cares and listens but isn't involved in any part of

> the

> rest of your life can be invaluable. You don't have to care about

> them. It's

> just all about you.

That it totally so true. :-) Thanks for writing. I feel better for

reading what you've said.

*****************************

From Dee:

>...depression comes in bouts you can only handle so much pain ...you having hot

flush's off on but your really pretty young...

>

47 in May. But I love you for saying i'm pretty young. ;-)

>

>that should cheer you up,.... ,hugs sharon im tinking about you.

>

You always cheer me up. :-)

********************************************

[Guest guest]

THANK YOU TO ABSOLUTELY EVERYONE!

* * * * * * * *

Kaylene Goyette wrote:

>

> Menopause is also a possibility... The progestin made me feel

> absolutely mad so I

> quit taking it.

That's summat to give good thought too.

>

> Anyway it sounds like you have a variety of reasons to feel tearful.

I do at the minute.

> Sometimes I just get weary of the constancy of the pain and all the

> things I

> can't do anymore and sob and sob for a bit.

Yes it's the day in and day out, and it's all out of my control. I

believe you can do anything within reason in your life.

Now i'm being held back by things out of my control and with no way to

seek respite. But I will find a way out of this.

I'll let you know when I do. :-)

>

> Sometimes it's okay to cry a bit for the life we have had stolen from us.

Yes it is isn't it. I can adjust, but try telling my brain that this

last few weeks.

>

> If the " teary eyes " continue for more than 2 weeks you might want to see

> your doctor for a check up and perhaps see a counsellor.

:-) Seeing one on Monday! Psychologist.

> Having someone who cares and listens but isn't involved in any part of

> the

> rest of your life can be invaluable. You don't have to care about

> them. It's

> just all about you.

That it totally so true. :-) Thanks for writing. I feel better for

reading what you've said.

*****************************

From Dee:

>...depression comes in bouts you can only handle so much pain ...you having hot

flush's off on but your really pretty young...

>

47 in May. But I love you for saying i'm pretty young. ;-)

>

>that should cheer you up,.... ,hugs sharon im tinking about you.

>

You always cheer me up. :-)

********************************************

[Guest guest]

It seems like the cure is worse than the disease. Half of the stuff we take

isn't really tested the way it should be cause people need relief so badly. I

know depression. It's brutal and I feel for you. When it hits, you have so

little control of your emotions. So sad, we were strong people, wern't we?

Maybe this is our " Passion' who knows. Just try and keep some peace inside and

keep going. Donna

Sharon wrote: THANK YOU TO ABSOLUTELY EVERYONE!