Guest guest Posted April 20, 2004 Report Share Posted April 20, 2004 This is how I feel about my father. Free --- In ModOasis , " charlottehoneychurch " > He is a good man, and he would be absolutely devastated if he knew the extent of terror this nada put me through. Maybe he would deny it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted April 20, 2004 Report Share Posted April 20, 2004 Free-- Thanks so much for letting me know. It's a great comfort. And I also thank Edith for the recent message in which she phrased so eloquently the way that she helps balance out the universe providing shelter for those on this list. I do believe that is so. I think the best that those of us with nadas can do is to get that shelter and tenderness in other places--learn to get it from ourselves (and from our spiritual practices, if applicable), and from our wonderful friends who can be such helpful listeners, and from this list, and from therapists, etc. etc. So I did not have real parents, but I feel extremely privileged to have had tons and tons of mini-parents, all spread throughout the universe. Anyhow, regarding the father issue--I am wondering if there is anyone out there who HAS told their father, who would like to share what happened next? I also have a sister (the split good sister) who may be bpd, or may just have some very big fleas. Considering her complete denial of ever doing anything wrong, ever, I fear it is full fledged bpd. Edith, any advice on how to make the decision whether or not to tell immediate family members about bpd? I don't have UBM, maybe I would need that book to help with the decision. I am really torn at the moment, because I'm not sure if it is more selfish to tell them or not to tell them. I truly believe my nada's abuse is causing my foo to overeat, and therefore threatening his very life. I also truly believe that being split good--then bad-- and in general having a nada--is what caused my sister to attempt suicide a few times and to have three unsuccessful engagements (so far). They are both suffering, then, and perhaps bpd knowledge might help. But it might not. It is easier for me just to say nothing--much easier. I can just work on my own therapy and self- knowledge, and not worry about causing such an uproar. Plus I am not a trained therapist/doctor, and I don't know what state my sister and father's emotional health are truly in. They might not be able to handle it. Argh. For me this is the hardest aspect of my new bpd knowledge. Learning of bpd is probably the best, happiest thing that's ever happened to ME, but it freaks me out for my other two family members. > This is how I feel about my father. > > Free > > --- In ModOasis , " charlottehoneychurch " > > > He is a good man, and he would be absolutely devastated if he knew > the extent of terror this nada put me through. Maybe he would deny > it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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