Re: nada & dad getting a divorce

[Guest guest]

Kath, your post reminded me so much of my dad in the same situation,

it was heartbreaking to watch. Best wishes for him and hope he will be

able to reassure himself of not being a failure, for no one, who has

been in a chosen or non-chosen relationship with a BP, is a failure.

Take care you both,

BM

>

> Hi all,

>

> Today is the court date for my dad and nada. Hopefully, the divorce

> will be final today - nada keeps finding reasons that she will not

> accept dad's settlement - even though he has given her way more than

> half - because he wants to make sure she will be ok.

>

> I'm glad that this may finally be over - but sad at the same time.

> Dad tried so hard to make it worth with nada - but it was actually

> affecting his health - so he finally gave up. He still feels a

> tremendous abount of obligation to her - and this is tearing him up.

> I think he feels like a failure because he couldn't fix it. He moved

> in with me when he couldn't take being at nada's anymore. It's hard

> to watch him go through the pain - but I think that after this is

> finalized he might be able to move on - maybe feel less tired and

> have fewer anxiety attacks. He was doing great for a while - but the

> last week has been hard on him.

>

> I know there's nothing I can do to help him - except support him and

> keep reminding him that he is loved. He has always been there for me

> and my sisters - and it hurts to watch him be in so much pain.

>

> Take care,

> Kath

[Guest guest]

Kath, your post reminded me so much of my dad in the same situation,

it was heartbreaking to watch. Best wishes for him and hope he will be

able to reassure himself of not being a failure, for no one, who has

been in a chosen or non-chosen relationship with a BP, is a failure.

Take care you both,

BM

>

> Hi all,

>

> Today is the court date for my dad and nada. Hopefully, the divorce

> will be final today - nada keeps finding reasons that she will not

> accept dad's settlement - even though he has given her way more than

> half - because he wants to make sure she will be ok.

>

> I'm glad that this may finally be over - but sad at the same time.

> Dad tried so hard to make it worth with nada - but it was actually

> affecting his health - so he finally gave up. He still feels a

> tremendous abount of obligation to her - and this is tearing him up.

> I think he feels like a failure because he couldn't fix it. He moved

> in with me when he couldn't take being at nada's anymore. It's hard

> to watch him go through the pain - but I think that after this is

> finalized he might be able to move on - maybe feel less tired and

> have fewer anxiety attacks. He was doing great for a while - but the

> last week has been hard on him.

>

> I know there's nothing I can do to help him - except support him and

> keep reminding him that he is loved. He has always been there for me

> and my sisters - and it hurts to watch him be in so much pain.

>

> Take care,

> Kath

[Guest guest]

Hi Kath,

>

> Hi all,

>

> Today is the court date for my dad and nada. Hopefully, the

divorce

> will be final today - nada keeps finding reasons that she will not

> accept dad's settlement - even though he has given her way more

than

> half - because he wants to make sure she will be ok.

==============================

Gee, my Nada keeps finding reason's not to accept my dad's offers too.

I was wondering if it's because it's never really enough or she likes

the chaos she's living in or she doesn't really want it to end.

>

> I'm glad that this may finally be over - but sad at the same time.

> Dad tried so hard to make it worth with nada - but it was actually

> affecting his health - so he finally gave up. He still feels a

> tremendous abount of obligation to her - and this is tearing him

up.

> I think he feels like a failure because he couldn't fix it.

===============

Maybe it's for the best, it may be very painful now but maybe after

time passes he'll be happier w/o her. I guess he's going through a

grieving process like all of us.

He moved

> in with me when he couldn't take being at nada's anymore. It's

hard

> to watch him go through the pain - but I think that after this is

> finalized he might be able to move on - maybe feel less tired and

> have fewer anxiety attacks. He was doing great for a while - but

the

> last week has been hard on him.

>

> I know there's nothing I can do to help him - except support him

and

> keep reminding him that he is loved. He has always been there for

me

> and my sisters - and it hurts to watch him be in so much pain.

>

> Take care,

> Kath

==========

Sorry you have to watch him in this pain. I can't imagine what it

must be like. I was never close to my dad (I think he may be NPD)

and I know how bad it makes me feel to watch him w/ divorce thing so

I can't imagine if I were close to him.

Hope you feel better.

cntbreathe

[Guest guest]

Hi Kath,

>

> Hi all,

>

> Today is the court date for my dad and nada. Hopefully, the

divorce

> will be final today - nada keeps finding reasons that she will not

> accept dad's settlement - even though he has given her way more

than

> half - because he wants to make sure she will be ok.

==============================

Gee, my Nada keeps finding reason's not to accept my dad's offers too.

I was wondering if it's because it's never really enough or she likes

the chaos she's living in or she doesn't really want it to end.

>

> I'm glad that this may finally be over - but sad at the same time.

> Dad tried so hard to make it worth with nada - but it was actually

> affecting his health - so he finally gave up. He still feels a

> tremendous abount of obligation to her - and this is tearing him

up.

> I think he feels like a failure because he couldn't fix it.

===============

Maybe it's for the best, it may be very painful now but maybe after

time passes he'll be happier w/o her. I guess he's going through a

grieving process like all of us.

He moved

> in with me when he couldn't take being at nada's anymore. It's

hard

> to watch him go through the pain - but I think that after this is

> finalized he might be able to move on - maybe feel less tired and

> have fewer anxiety attacks. He was doing great for a while - but

the

> last week has been hard on him.

>

> I know there's nothing I can do to help him - except support him

and

> keep reminding him that he is loved. He has always been there for

me

> and my sisters - and it hurts to watch him be in so much pain.

>

> Take care,

> Kath

==========

Sorry you have to watch him in this pain. I can't imagine what it

must be like. I was never close to my dad (I think he may be NPD)

and I know how bad it makes me feel to watch him w/ divorce thing so

I can't imagine if I were close to him.

Hope you feel better.

cntbreathe

[Guest guest]

Hi Kath,

>

> Hi all,

>

> Today is the court date for my dad and nada. Hopefully, the

divorce

> will be final today - nada keeps finding reasons that she will not

> accept dad's settlement - even though he has given her way more

than

> half - because he wants to make sure she will be ok.

==============================

Gee, my Nada keeps finding reason's not to accept my dad's offers too.

I was wondering if it's because it's never really enough or she likes

the chaos she's living in or she doesn't really want it to end.

>

> I'm glad that this may finally be over - but sad at the same time.

> Dad tried so hard to make it worth with nada - but it was actually

> affecting his health - so he finally gave up. He still feels a

> tremendous abount of obligation to her - and this is tearing him

up.

> I think he feels like a failure because he couldn't fix it.

===============

Maybe it's for the best, it may be very painful now but maybe after

time passes he'll be happier w/o her. I guess he's going through a

grieving process like all of us.

He moved

> in with me when he couldn't take being at nada's anymore. It's

hard

> to watch him go through the pain - but I think that after this is

> finalized he might be able to move on - maybe feel less tired and

> have fewer anxiety attacks. He was doing great for a while - but

the

> last week has been hard on him.

>

> I know there's nothing I can do to help him - except support him

and

> keep reminding him that he is loved. He has always been there for

me

> and my sisters - and it hurts to watch him be in so much pain.

>

> Take care,

> Kath

==========

Sorry you have to watch him in this pain. I can't imagine what it

must be like. I was never close to my dad (I think he may be NPD)

and I know how bad it makes me feel to watch him w/ divorce thing so

I can't imagine if I were close to him.

Hope you feel better.

cntbreathe

[Guest guest]

My nada just divorced my step father. After a full day of mediation,

they settled- and it came out like it should have- 50/50. She was

beyond livid. She felt she deserved every single thing. She had been

squirling away money for several years in prep for this big event.

After it was all said and done, a friend of hers told me that nada

was very sad, almost lethargic, and not talking. Nada said " I can't

contol him any more.... "

There is a reason why the book is titled " I hate you.. Don't leave

me "

Hope this helps!

> >

> > Hi all,

> >

> > Today is the court date for my dad and nada. Hopefully, the

> divorce

> > will be final today - nada keeps finding reasons that she will

not

> > accept dad's settlement - even though he has given her way more

> than

> > half - because he wants to make sure she will be ok.

> ==============================

> Gee, my Nada keeps finding reason's not to accept my dad's offers

too.

> I was wondering if it's because it's never really enough or she

likes

> the chaos she's living in or she doesn't really want it to end.

> >

> > I'm glad that this may finally be over - but sad at the same

time.

> > Dad tried so hard to make it worth with nada - but it was

actually

> > affecting his health - so he finally gave up. He still feels a

> > tremendous abount of obligation to her - and this is tearing him

> up.

> > I think he feels like a failure because he couldn't fix it.

> ===============

> Maybe it's for the best, it may be very painful now but maybe

after

> time passes he'll be happier w/o her. I guess he's going through

a

> grieving process like all of us.

>

>

> He moved

> > in with me when he couldn't take being at nada's anymore. It's

> hard

> > to watch him go through the pain - but I think that after this

is

> > finalized he might be able to move on - maybe feel less tired

and

> > have fewer anxiety attacks. He was doing great for a while -

but

> the

> > last week has been hard on him.

> >

> > I know there's nothing I can do to help him - except support him

> and

> > keep reminding him that he is loved. He has always been there

for

> me

> > and my sisters - and it hurts to watch him be in so much pain.

> >

> > Take care,

> > Kath

> ==========

> Sorry you have to watch him in this pain. I can't imagine what it

> must be like. I was never close to my dad (I think he may be NPD)

> and I know how bad it makes me feel to watch him w/ divorce thing

so

> I can't imagine if I were close to him.

> Hope you feel better.

> cntbreathe

[Guest guest]

My nada just divorced my step father. After a full day of mediation,

they settled- and it came out like it should have- 50/50. She was

beyond livid. She felt she deserved every single thing. She had been

squirling away money for several years in prep for this big event.

After it was all said and done, a friend of hers told me that nada

was very sad, almost lethargic, and not talking. Nada said " I can't

contol him any more.... "

There is a reason why the book is titled " I hate you.. Don't leave

me "

Hope this helps!

> >

> > Hi all,

> >

> > Today is the court date for my dad and nada. Hopefully, the

> divorce

> > will be final today - nada keeps finding reasons that she will

not

> > accept dad's settlement - even though he has given her way more

> than

> > half - because he wants to make sure she will be ok.

> ==============================

> Gee, my Nada keeps finding reason's not to accept my dad's offers

too.

> I was wondering if it's because it's never really enough or she

likes

> the chaos she's living in or she doesn't really want it to end.

> >

> > I'm glad that this may finally be over - but sad at the same

time.

> > Dad tried so hard to make it worth with nada - but it was

actually

> > affecting his health - so he finally gave up. He still feels a

> > tremendous abount of obligation to her - and this is tearing him

> up.

> > I think he feels like a failure because he couldn't fix it.

> ===============

> Maybe it's for the best, it may be very painful now but maybe

after

> time passes he'll be happier w/o her. I guess he's going through

a

> grieving process like all of us.

>

>

> He moved

> > in with me when he couldn't take being at nada's anymore. It's

> hard

> > to watch him go through the pain - but I think that after this

is

> > finalized he might be able to move on - maybe feel less tired

and

> > have fewer anxiety attacks. He was doing great for a while -

but

> the

> > last week has been hard on him.

> >

> > I know there's nothing I can do to help him - except support him

> and

> > keep reminding him that he is loved. He has always been there

for

> me

> > and my sisters - and it hurts to watch him be in so much pain.

> >

> > Take care,

> > Kath

> ==========

> Sorry you have to watch him in this pain. I can't imagine what it

> must be like. I was never close to my dad (I think he may be NPD)

> and I know how bad it makes me feel to watch him w/ divorce thing

so

> I can't imagine if I were close to him.

> Hope you feel better.

> cntbreathe

[Guest guest]

My nada just divorced my step father. After a full day of mediation,

they settled- and it came out like it should have- 50/50. She was

beyond livid. She felt she deserved every single thing. She had been

squirling away money for several years in prep for this big event.

After it was all said and done, a friend of hers told me that nada

was very sad, almost lethargic, and not talking. Nada said " I can't

contol him any more.... "

There is a reason why the book is titled " I hate you.. Don't leave

me "

Hope this helps!

> >

> > Hi all,

> >

> > Today is the court date for my dad and nada. Hopefully, the

> divorce

> > will be final today - nada keeps finding reasons that she will

not

> > accept dad's settlement - even though he has given her way more

> than

> > half - because he wants to make sure she will be ok.

> ==============================

> Gee, my Nada keeps finding reason's not to accept my dad's offers

too.

> I was wondering if it's because it's never really enough or she

likes

> the chaos she's living in or she doesn't really want it to end.

> >

> > I'm glad that this may finally be over - but sad at the same

time.

> > Dad tried so hard to make it worth with nada - but it was

actually

> > affecting his health - so he finally gave up. He still feels a

> > tremendous abount of obligation to her - and this is tearing him

> up.

> > I think he feels like a failure because he couldn't fix it.

> ===============

> Maybe it's for the best, it may be very painful now but maybe

after

> time passes he'll be happier w/o her. I guess he's going through

a

> grieving process like all of us.

>

>

> He moved

> > in with me when he couldn't take being at nada's anymore. It's

> hard

> > to watch him go through the pain - but I think that after this

is

> > finalized he might be able to move on - maybe feel less tired

and

> > have fewer anxiety attacks. He was doing great for a while -

but

> the

> > last week has been hard on him.

> >

> > I know there's nothing I can do to help him - except support him

> and

> > keep reminding him that he is loved. He has always been there

for

> me

> > and my sisters - and it hurts to watch him be in so much pain.

> >

> > Take care,

> > Kath

> ==========

> Sorry you have to watch him in this pain. I can't imagine what it

> must be like. I was never close to my dad (I think he may be NPD)

> and I know how bad it makes me feel to watch him w/ divorce thing

so

> I can't imagine if I were close to him.

> Hope you feel better.

> cntbreathe

[Guest guest]

That is a whole buch to give a person....a beautiful

gift...especially when you are giving back.

But, yes, to see those we care for and love in pain is....painful.

Free

> I know there's nothing I can do to help him - except support him

and keep reminding him that he is loved.