Guest guest Posted April 11, 2004 Report Share Posted April 11, 2004 Free: Never, NEVER negotiate with terrorists. {Carol ... smilin' ... had a great day with children kids and grandchildren/all ten!} In a message dated 4/11/04 9:09:59 PM Eastern Daylight Time, free_spirit_etc@... writes: Hoping everyone is having a wonderful day free from chaos and drama. I am working today.. and am just where I want to be...doing home health care with a lovely lady...and I made a heck of a good ham. Interesting that this year my mother didn't start the " what are you doing for the holiday? " stuff - so that I would start negotiating with the other people at work - not minding if I worked - but feeling a tug at telling my mother I was going to work - so putting it off - so that I negotiated something with them (like the evening or the day before or the day after) which seemed " good enough " until some remark was made later that no one spent the holiday with them. Come to think of it - sometimes I negotiated with my parents (i.e. mother) FIRST - to see what she was expecting - before I started negotiating at work... but it never turned out much better. Not really any drama or chaos - just the subtle reminder that I had " put them aside " or something. Actually, I don't know what it is. Now that I think about it - I don't even know. I just know that whatever I did wasn't dreadfully wrong - it just wasn't " right " enough. Anyway - this year - I just decided I was working and informed them (i.e. my mother) of that. I did invite them (i.e. them both) to come over her..but didn't push it much because last time I did that my dad decided to come and I know my mother would have rather not. She was uncomfortable here. I didn't hear an acknowledgement of my invitation. Nor did I hear anything of their plans..which is also odd. LOL - and I was really relieved to be spared from the whole thing until right about now - when I started wondering if I was supposed to be feeling guilty or something. If so, someone better tell me.... so I will know. LOL Eek!!!!!!! What kind of KO am I??? I don't even know when to feel guilty now!!! LOL Free (still growing) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted April 11, 2004 Report Share Posted April 11, 2004 Hoping everyone is having a wonderful day free from chaos and drama. I am working today.. and am just where I want to be...doing home health care with a lovely lady...and I made a heck of a good ham. Interesting that this year my mother didn't start the " what are you doing for the holiday? " stuff - so that I would start negotiating with the other people at work - not minding if I worked - but feeling a tug at telling my mother I was going to work - so putting it off - so that I negotiated something with them (like the evening or the day before or the day after) which seemed " good enough " until some remark was made later that no one spent the holiday with them. Come to think of it - sometimes I negotiated with my parents (i.e. mother) FIRST - to see what she was expecting - before I started negotiating at work... but it never turned out much better. Not really any drama or chaos - just the subtle reminder that I had " put them aside " or something. Actually, I don't know what it is. Now that I think about it - I don't even know. I just know that whatever I did wasn't dreadfully wrong - it just wasn't " right " enough. Anyway - this year - I just decided I was working and informed them (i.e. my mother) of that. I did invite them (i.e. them both) to come over her..but didn't push it much because last time I did that my dad decided to come and I know my mother would have rather not. She was uncomfortable here. I didn't hear an acknowledgement of my invitation. Nor did I hear anything of their plans..which is also odd. LOL - and I was really relieved to be spared from the whole thing until right about now - when I started wondering if I was supposed to be feeling guilty or something. If so, someone better tell me.... so I will know. LOL Eek!!!!!!! What kind of KO am I??? I don't even know when to feel guilty now!!! LOL Free (still growing) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted April 11, 2004 Report Share Posted April 11, 2004 Thanks Debbie. Actually I don't really feel guilty. I've just been conditioned to feel guilty I suppose. Then at one point today I wondered what was missing. It was all the internal " stuff " that usually goes on. It wasn't really there. So, maybe for the first time, I was able to think about it without all the gnawing " going on inside. Was nice really. I am not always at my mother's beck and call. I often do things that I know might not please her. But usually I pay for that with guilt. Today I didn't. Wow! I did another search inside me - none. Better leave well enough alone. Just still don't trust it. Free > ****Free I wouldn't feel guilty. I would have an easter party all by myself > or with people I would rather be with. I would pull out the ice cream & > chocolate stuff if that was what I wanted. I would probably drink 2 glasses > of wine & some soft music, pamper myself while it was playing. Then get a > good nights sleep. Today is gone & even if you were to feel guilty what good > would it do. This last Christmas, I spent it here with the kids & my > husband. No Foo, No mother & no step-adopted dad either. Close to the end of > the day, or was it the next day, I realized that mother had possibly spent > the day alone. Then I remembered that although the J.W. don't celebrate most > of the holidays, They would have a little get together at the church for > eats & companionship. I decided she was in better hands than mine. At least > she would be wanted there. No one wants her here. She would have to do a > whole lot of changing to be welcomed here. > VERY BIG GRIN. > Hope you had a wonderful day without her, > Debbie > > LOL - and I was really relieved to be spared from the whole thing > > until right about now - when I started wondering if I was supposed to > > be feeling guilty or something. If so, someone better tell me.... so > > I will know. LOL > > > > Eek!!!!!!! What kind of KO am I??? I don't even know when to feel > > guilty now!!! LOL > > > > Free (still growing) > > > > > > > > Send questions and/or concerns to ModOasis-owner > > " Stop Walking on Eggshells, " a primer for non-BPs, can be ordered via > 1-888-35-SHELL () and for the table of contents, go to: > > http://www.BPDCentral.com > > > > > > > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted April 11, 2004 Report Share Posted April 11, 2004 ****Free I wouldn't feel guilty. I would have an easter party all by myself or with people I would rather be with. I would pull out the ice cream & chocolate stuff if that was what I wanted. I would probably drink 2 glasses of wine & some soft music, pamper myself while it was playing. Then get a good nights sleep. Today is gone & even if you were to feel guilty what good would it do. This last Christmas, I spent it here with the kids & my husband. No Foo, No mother & no step-adopted dad either. Close to the end of the day, or was it the next day, I realized that mother had possibly spent the day alone. Then I remembered that although the J.W. don't celebrate most of the holidays, They would have a little get together at the church for eats & companionship. I decided she was in better hands than mine. At least she would be wanted there. No one wants her here. She would have to do a whole lot of changing to be welcomed here. VERY BIG GRIN. Hope you had a wonderful day without her, Debbie > LOL - and I was really relieved to be spared from the whole thing > until right about now - when I started wondering if I was supposed to > be feeling guilty or something. If so, someone better tell me.... so > I will know. LOL > > Eek!!!!!!! What kind of KO am I??? I don't even know when to feel > guilty now!!! LOL > > Free (still growing) > > > > Send questions and/or concerns to ModOasis-owner > " Stop Walking on Eggshells, " a primer for non-BPs, can be ordered via 1-888-35-SHELL () and for the table of contents, go to: > http://www.BPDCentral.com > > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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