Guest guest Posted March 28, 2004 Report Share Posted March 28, 2004 Hi all, I am a the mother of a bpd step-daughter.Age 22 yrs.Abandoned by her Mom at 2 1/2yrs raised alone by Dad and then w/ me from age 4 until age 17yrs when she was kicked out(as she says).Has not seen or heard from bio-Mom since she was 4 yrs.To say that life w/her has been a roller coaster ride, is a mild understatement.She has lied,stolen,refuses to work, dropped out of the finest private schools,boarding schools,etc.Has had 1 form of therapy or another since age 3 yrs.All to NO avail!!!! The reason I have come to the oasis is because I'm very fearful about her chaos and its effects on her 2 yr old baby.Although I doubt she'd hurt her own child I see her rages,and chaos will effect the baby.I guess I thought who better to advise us(husband and I) than those who have been through it themselves.I think in Step- Daughter's case her whole reason for wanting a baby was to be able to control it and boss it around.She also saw it as a way to get rent,food for free through her welfare checks.She feels very " entitled " to this.As a matter of fact she has learned how to cheat the system and manipulate her way into getting lots of things that she feels entitled to.I know how living with her was almost impossible for our family,but I'm not sure how it affects her daughter.She lives from 1 welfare chk to the next.She felt entitled to having 57 channels of cable but since she has never had a job,she assumed welfare pays for that?Sure enough her gr.mother my (M-I-L) payed it.Shortly after that she racked up $500.00 in long dist. phone bills.Again her gr.mother payed it.(2nd or 3rd time).At same time as this she had a brand new expensive tattoo on her arm.That struck a chord w/ me cuz I started to think that if these are her priorities then maybe she is capable of hurting her child.I have begged my M-I-L, since she is involved w/her to get social services involved but St.Daughter has to really hurt baby before they will come.My question to all of you is what should I be looking for and what are the signs? My m-i-l told me she sleeps with her baby,isn't that strange when a baby is 2 yrs old ? Also she refuses to take her to playgroup or daycare,I thought that was just her EXCUSE to NOT work.Could it be more sinister than that?I realize that she is not BAD just sick but I am not quite sure how that can affect an innocent baby and what can I do if at all. Thank-you all for allowing me on here.I look forward to your advice. PandS45 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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