Guest guest Posted October 24, 2004 Report Share Posted October 24, 2004 Yep, its ok for me. I bet its ok for others too. Post here. We will help! Also, tell more about hubby who " just cant deal with " all of it?? Is that somehow a familiar thing? Did dad handle your feelings same way?- jana __________________________________________________ Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted October 24, 2004 Report Share Posted October 24, 2004 Yep, its ok for me. I bet its ok for others too. Post here. We will help! Also, tell more about hubby who " just cant deal with " all of it?? Is that somehow a familiar thing? Did dad handle your feelings same way?- jana __________________________________________________ Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted October 24, 2004 Report Share Posted October 24, 2004 Hello! Welcome to this site. I, too am a new member. I am very sorry to hear about the way your mother/Nada is behaving. Remember,that your husband and kids always come first. Protecting them and yourself is never a bad thing. My nada has had one of the worst years ever. Her and my father got divorced or shall I say are still trying to get divorced. My father finally left, but the divorce is still not final. In this past year she has pulled out all the stops. She thinks I should take care of her (she lives 7 hours away.) She doesn't believe that I've ever been there for her, she now says she doesn't love me and never wants to have anything to with me again. The book WOE (Walking on Eggshells) really helped me to understand all the chaos. If you haven't read it please do. It is completely worth it. Whatever you do, remember you are not blame. You are not the one with the problem. It is an illness that you did not create. Setting your boundaries is the best thing you can do to help yourself and to help her. Peace and love, > > Hi! > > I am 38 years old woman and have 3 kids of my own (and fairly happy > married too, can't believe it sometimes). I found out about my mom's > BP at the beginning of this year, after a terrible Christmas, and it > continued with almost a psychotic spring. These things have been > going on as long as I can remember, but this one was the worst, she > is just becoming more and more difficult when the years go by (she is > 60). > > I have 2 younger brothers and my parents are devorced ( 8 years > ago ). We always thought the troubles we had in our FOO, were because > of mom and dad did not have a good marriage, and believed that it > would stop after our parents got devorced. Well, it didn't! It was so > unbearable to listen to her going on about how terrible dad is, > again, and being puzzled about why, when she did not see of talk to > him in eight years. It got so crazy that she scared us bad, and we > went to a crisis-center to get help. We were advised to set > boundaries and we did it, after that we have not seen her, I know at > some point she will try to contact us and blame us for everything > that has happened in her life, that is how she is, but I think that I > just can't deal with her anymore. > > I am feeling lonely with this all, although I can talk to my dad and > brothers about how I feel and how this all is affecting me, but I > just don't want to burden anyone, it's not easy for them either. My > hubby is one of the people, who just can't deal with stuff like this > and I think it's ok, I would not want to make my family miserable > because of stuff that has nothing to do with them. > > I just need friends who understand why this is so difficult, some > people I can talk to about things. It's been a difficult year and I > am just trying to cope and understand what has happened. Hope this is > ok for ya all?! > > Sorry about any mistakes in spelling ect., English is not my first > language. > > BM Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted October 25, 2004 Report Share Posted October 25, 2004 Welcome BM: Much of your description of your situation sounds like my own (save no sibilings or kids) and you will find much support here. It helps all of us as so much of what happens (right down to identical language) here sounds remarkably familiar. I am continually amazed at how " our nadas were all cast from the same mold " as someone wrote recently. It's so validating and thus comforting to here other people experiencing similar things and that our responses are also similar to one another. Many men resist talking about this kind of stuff anyway. Depending on what role your brothers played, they may not feel comfortable opening up to you or supporting you at times. Women use about two to three times more words in a day than most men. Vis a vis, we tend to talk about things more than men do to make sense of the world. It is a wonderful " place " to find help, comfort and advice. I was blamed for most everything while I was growing up, but now that I'm grown and gone, it's funny how the same old stuff persists for my mother. Your thoughts about your parents marriage echo this for me. I'm glad that you're able to recognize that circumstances are only used as an excuse for the underlying problems that always trace back to the BP. Now nada has to blame everything on my dad and tries to triangulate things so that I'll support her against him. On some level, I'm still to blame in her mind, too. Probably for breaking away from her identity by virtue of growing up. Any port in a storm can hold the blame for her... And spelling!!!! At least you have an excuse! I have none, but I don't care much about it. Bigger things to be concerned about. K > We always thought the troubles we had in our FOO, were because > of mom and dad did not have a good marriage, and believed that it > would stop after our parents got devorced. Well, it didn't! ..... > > ...I am feeling lonely with this all, although I can talk to my dad and > brothers about how I feel and how this all is affecting me, but I > just don't want to burden anyone, it's not easy for them either. My > hubby is one of the people, who just can't deal with stuff like this > and I think it's ok, I would not want to make my family miserable > because of stuff that has nothing to do with them. > > I just need friends who understand why this is so difficult, some > people I can talk to about things. It's been a difficult year and I > am just trying to cope and understand what has happened. Hope this is > ok for ya all?! > > Sorry about any mistakes in spelling ect., English is not my first > language. > > BM Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted October 25, 2004 Report Share Posted October 25, 2004 Welcome BM: Much of your description of your situation sounds like my own (save no sibilings or kids) and you will find much support here. It helps all of us as so much of what happens (right down to identical language) here sounds remarkably familiar. I am continually amazed at how " our nadas were all cast from the same mold " as someone wrote recently. It's so validating and thus comforting to here other people experiencing similar things and that our responses are also similar to one another. Many men resist talking about this kind of stuff anyway. Depending on what role your brothers played, they may not feel comfortable opening up to you or supporting you at times. Women use about two to three times more words in a day than most men. Vis a vis, we tend to talk about things more than men do to make sense of the world. It is a wonderful " place " to find help, comfort and advice. I was blamed for most everything while I was growing up, but now that I'm grown and gone, it's funny how the same old stuff persists for my mother. Your thoughts about your parents marriage echo this for me. I'm glad that you're able to recognize that circumstances are only used as an excuse for the underlying problems that always trace back to the BP. Now nada has to blame everything on my dad and tries to triangulate things so that I'll support her against him. On some level, I'm still to blame in her mind, too. Probably for breaking away from her identity by virtue of growing up. Any port in a storm can hold the blame for her... And spelling!!!! At least you have an excuse! I have none, but I don't care much about it. Bigger things to be concerned about. K > We always thought the troubles we had in our FOO, were because > of mom and dad did not have a good marriage, and believed that it > would stop after our parents got devorced. Well, it didn't! ..... > > ...I am feeling lonely with this all, although I can talk to my dad and > brothers about how I feel and how this all is affecting me, but I > just don't want to burden anyone, it's not easy for them either. My > hubby is one of the people, who just can't deal with stuff like this > and I think it's ok, I would not want to make my family miserable > because of stuff that has nothing to do with them. > > I just need friends who understand why this is so difficult, some > people I can talk to about things. It's been a difficult year and I > am just trying to cope and understand what has happened. Hope this is > ok for ya all?! > > Sorry about any mistakes in spelling ect., English is not my first > language. > > BM Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted October 25, 2004 Report Share Posted October 25, 2004 Hi Jana and you all! Well, I have not thought about my dad or my hubby in that way ever. They have both their bad sides, my hubby can be demanding, but he can be empathizing too and does understand reasoning and when it comes to dad, he is the one I turn to when it comes to FOO-problems, althought they are devorced with nada. One thing I have understood about my hubbys difficulties in dealing with anything that has something to do with an illness, is that he has a mother who is a nurse and he has heard so many terrible stories of accidents and about people being ill that he is terrified of an idea that something would happen to any of us. And propably he is a child of a dad with a somekind of personality disorder, but that is an other story. So... it seems that he has not devoloped any terribly hurtful tendesies yet. Anyway we decided together that when this began again with nada, and I saw how it hurt him to see me being so upset and hurt, that it's better that I will try to get thrue this with the help of others - therapists and so on. Maybe he just wants to live in the " land of OZ " , or something but I still don't want to burden him with this . Dad, he was there for me, and I don't feel abondened by him, but my youngest brother (10 years younger than me) would if you talked to him. Dad did not have any energy to fight to get the custody of him when nada and he was separating the first time and he propably got the worst treatments by nada, when dad was not around. I feel so sad about that, that my heart just brakes and so does dad! Well anyway, that was a good question and I propably will see clearer in time, if anyone in my nearest relatives develop BP-traits, or my fleas get the better of me. It's great that I found you! BM Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted October 25, 2004 Report Share Posted October 25, 2004 Hi! I've been trying to find the book here, but I haven't had any luck yet. It's propably called something else in my lanquage, could you tell me who wrote it?! it might be easier to find it with the name of the writer. Thank you for your answer and support, I know I will get thrue this, hopefully wiser and stronger... I will also try to read the older posts, when I have the time. For sure, I can find gems in those posts too. BM Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted December 23, 2004 Report Share Posted December 23, 2004 Welcome, You've found a home here. The stress of the holidays and seeing our nadas is horrible, and we will all have war stories to share after Christmas. You're not alone. If you haven't read Understanding the Borderline Mother by Lawson, I really recommend it. It changed my and my sister's life. I was worried about the no-diagnosis thing when I first joined here too, but as far as I can tell, most of our mothers have not been formally diagnosed. One of the symptoms is that they don't trust the medical profession and won't seek help. Sometimes they think *we're* the ones who need help, not them. Good luck to you this season. Report back after you've seen your nada and just do your best. Merry Christmas. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted December 24, 2004 Report Share Posted December 24, 2004 In a message dated 12/24/2004 12:49:49 PM Eastern Standard Time, little_ugh@... writes: Sometimes they think *we're* the ones who need help, not them. I can totally relate to this statement . . . My father has not been diagnosed but then again he carted me from psychiatrist to psychiatrist as a child to find out what was wrong with me . . . It was not until he kicked me out of the house for over a week my senior year of HS and I went back into therapy (the only way he would allow me to return -- I had to be fixed he said) did I find a professional who understood what I was up against and even then BPD did not come up . . . I was blessed that I was speaking to someone who knew that I did not need to be fixed but instead deal with the realities that life had handed me with my father. Now so many years later my father thinks we all (my sister, as well as his family and friends who have chosen to sever ties) need to be fixed. His relationship with the witchmonster (his girlfriend) does not help because she feeds into his poor woe is me crap. I wish you and all of those celebrating any holiday a joyful and more importantly peaceful holiday. Maddy Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted December 24, 2004 Report Share Posted December 24, 2004 In a message dated 12/24/2004 12:49:49 PM Eastern Standard Time, little_ugh@... writes: Sometimes they think *we're* the ones who need help, not them. I can totally relate to this statement . . . My father has not been diagnosed but then again he carted me from psychiatrist to psychiatrist as a child to find out what was wrong with me . . . It was not until he kicked me out of the house for over a week my senior year of HS and I went back into therapy (the only way he would allow me to return -- I had to be fixed he said) did I find a professional who understood what I was up against and even then BPD did not come up . . . I was blessed that I was speaking to someone who knew that I did not need to be fixed but instead deal with the realities that life had handed me with my father. Now so many years later my father thinks we all (my sister, as well as his family and friends who have chosen to sever ties) need to be fixed. His relationship with the witchmonster (his girlfriend) does not help because she feeds into his poor woe is me crap. I wish you and all of those celebrating any holiday a joyful and more importantly peaceful holiday. Maddy Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted December 29, 2009 Report Share Posted December 29, 2009 I am looking for a forward thinking/practicing endocrinologist in Beaumont Texas (or surrounding area). I am making a residential move to east Texas and will need to establish myself with a new physician. I would really appreciate a recommendation. Thank you! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted December 30, 2009 Report Share Posted December 30, 2009 If you want a "forward thinking" doctor, you will avoid most endocrinologists. Most of the better thyroid docs are in primary care, usually in an alternative/wellness/integrative/anti-aging type practice. Check out our Texas Armour Docs list in Files. Also read the Database. >> I am looking for a forward thinking/practicing endocrinologist in Beaumont Texas (or surrounding area). I am making a residential move to east Texas and will need to establish myself with a new physician.> > I would really appreciate a recommendation.> > Thank you!> Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted August 26, 2010 Report Share Posted August 26, 2010 Thank you for your advice . I greatly appreciate it! > > > > > > > Is there anyone worth seeing in the DFW area who accepts insurance? I've > > looked through the doctor database but was unimpressed with anyone in DFW. > > > > I've had hypothyroidism since 2006 after a RAI for Graves. I'm completely > > frustrated with my current endocrinoligist, because I have many hypthyroid > > symptoms, which I have told him about on numerous visits. Recently, I've had > > an ectopic pregnancy followed by a miscarriage, and I really don't want to > > return to my reproductive endocrinologist for issues I believe are thyroid > > related. I'm willing to drive anywhere in the metroplex to anyone worthwhile > > who will accept my insurance. > > > > Thank you in advance for any information! > > > > Alyssa > > > > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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