Guest guest Posted March 5, 2005 Report Share Posted March 5, 2005 I have only been part of this group for a few months, but have learned more about what is wrong with my fada (that I have a fada not a father) and how I can deal with it than in the last 20+ years of my adult life. Thanks everybody for sharing, because it helps those of us that just don't know what to post cope with our own issues. After years of my and everyone else in my family trying to work together to get fada to admit he needs counseling and/or therapy, I have come to the conclusion I just have to let him do his own thing. It dawned on me that I don't really want him back in my life, I want the father I never had. I had some idea that therapy would somehow transform him and we would all live happily ever after. Its finally sinking in that I have this fantasy notion that has very little chance of becoming reality. In a weird way I consider myself lucky because my fada has withdrawn from the entire family, we apparently have all been split bad and his withdrawal is our punishment. Since he has reached out to me, it has really made me realize I don't want him back in my life. I am curious about his current state of mind since we haven't seen each other face to face in 5 or 6 or maybe even 7 years. I plan on making a trip to my hometown in a month or two and will see if he wants to meet for lunch or something. Must be a public place! I fully expect to be split bad again somehow during our meeting, but just feel like I have to try it to see what happens. I would guess you would all recommend I not do this, to just keep my distance, but I feel like I have to prove to myself, and maybe to other family members, that I am willing to make the effort. Will keep you posted. Jeanine Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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