Re: Hubby controlling meds

[Guest guest]

Vicki wrote:

>

> Guess I'll have to learn to live with

> taking 1/2 10mg Methadone tablet when he decides to give it to me.

> I told him that there was no way I could live on half tablets after

> a complete hysterectomy and he said, " oh well.....guess we will see

> how much pain you can tolerate. "

>********************************************************8

OH NO YOU WILL NOT HAVE TO SEE HOW MUCH PAIN YOU CAN TOLERATE!!

Call the police,

I tell you what, give me his name and the town you live in and the

local police phone nuymber and I will call...I think I need an

address too,

It is not his way or the highway. Tell the police to arrest him for

stealing your medications. Do it now, today, don't wait a single

day. and when he has a record of stealing your medications....there

is no way he is going to get costody of your child over you. Get a

police advocate a community service officer on your side. Get a

restraining order... Get a letter from your doctor showing the amount

of meds you are supposed to take, then get that surgery you need,

cancer surgery is not something to put off, I know because I work in

cancer research. Get the surgery, take the chemo and your other meds

and DUMP THAT CHUMP! Don't give up and don't give in. He is a

danger to you and your child.

God watch over the both of you.

God Bless,

Daphne

(Seattle)

[Guest guest]

Vicki wrote:

>

> Guess I'll have to learn to live with

> taking 1/2 10mg Methadone tablet when he decides to give it to me.

> I told him that there was no way I could live on half tablets after

> a complete hysterectomy and he said, " oh well.....guess we will see

> how much pain you can tolerate. "

>********************************************************8

OH NO YOU WILL NOT HAVE TO SEE HOW MUCH PAIN YOU CAN TOLERATE!!

Call the police,

I tell you what, give me his name and the town you live in and the

local police phone nuymber and I will call...I think I need an

address too,

It is not his way or the highway. Tell the police to arrest him for

stealing your medications. Do it now, today, don't wait a single

day. and when he has a record of stealing your medications....there

is no way he is going to get costody of your child over you. Get a

police advocate a community service officer on your side. Get a

restraining order... Get a letter from your doctor showing the amount

of meds you are supposed to take, then get that surgery you need,

cancer surgery is not something to put off, I know because I work in

cancer research. Get the surgery, take the chemo and your other meds

and DUMP THAT CHUMP! Don't give up and don't give in. He is a

danger to you and your child.

God watch over the both of you.

God Bless,

Daphne

(Seattle)

[Guest guest]

Vicki wrote:

>

> Guess I'll have to learn to live with

> taking 1/2 10mg Methadone tablet when he decides to give it to me.

> I told him that there was no way I could live on half tablets after

> a complete hysterectomy and he said, " oh well.....guess we will see

> how much pain you can tolerate. "

>********************************************************8

OH NO YOU WILL NOT HAVE TO SEE HOW MUCH PAIN YOU CAN TOLERATE!!

Call the police,

I tell you what, give me his name and the town you live in and the

local police phone nuymber and I will call...I think I need an

address too,

It is not his way or the highway. Tell the police to arrest him for

stealing your medications. Do it now, today, don't wait a single

day. and when he has a record of stealing your medications....there

is no way he is going to get costody of your child over you. Get a

police advocate a community service officer on your side. Get a

restraining order... Get a letter from your doctor showing the amount

of meds you are supposed to take, then get that surgery you need,

cancer surgery is not something to put off, I know because I work in

cancer research. Get the surgery, take the chemo and your other meds

and DUMP THAT CHUMP! Don't give up and don't give in. He is a

danger to you and your child.

God watch over the both of you.

God Bless,

Daphne

(Seattle)

[Guest guest]

He just thinks that the way it would go. My first husband made the same threat.

It didn't work out that way at all. Try this number when you have a bit of time

to yourself. 1- It's the Center for Community Solutions and works

with people at risk in domestic violence situations. If you tell them what's

happened with your medications, the postponement of your surgery and the latest

threat they'll do what they can for you. They can refer you to a legal clinic

for free consultations. There are shelters all over the country for refuge for

people at risk, and their children who are also considered at risk in this type

of situation.

I was a psychologist before I retired, my specialty was domestic violence. And

it sure sounds to me like that's what you're facing here.

Take care of yourself,

Jana

Hubby controlling meds

My husband said it was his way or the highway and that he would ask for a

divorce and

take my baby girl with him.

[Guest guest]

He just thinks that the way it would go. My first husband made the same threat.

It didn't work out that way at all. Try this number when you have a bit of time

to yourself. 1- It's the Center for Community Solutions and works

with people at risk in domestic violence situations. If you tell them what's

happened with your medications, the postponement of your surgery and the latest

threat they'll do what they can for you. They can refer you to a legal clinic

for free consultations. There are shelters all over the country for refuge for

people at risk, and their children who are also considered at risk in this type

of situation.

I was a psychologist before I retired, my specialty was domestic violence. And

it sure sounds to me like that's what you're facing here.

Take care of yourself,

Jana

Hubby controlling meds

My husband said it was his way or the highway and that he would ask for a

divorce and

take my baby girl with him.

[Guest guest]

Dear Vicki,

I've been following your posts, but have been keeping my very angry

opinions to myself. But the things I've been reading in your posts

now not only anger me, they make me literally sick. You are being

abused in the most horrible way, and you need to get out.

As everyone has stated over and over, you do NOT have to live with

this. What your husband is doing is not just horribly cruel to you,

it's also highly illegal. One call to your local police dept. will

have him behind bars and convicted of felony drug possession faster

than you could bat an eye. And believe me, no one is going to care

to hear his story about how he was doing it " for your own good " or

any of that bullshit. It's still felony possession, and they're

also going to think he's as inhumane as all of us do!

I absolutely do NOT think you would risk any chance of losing your

daughter in all of this, especially when it's revealed what your

husband has been doing to you. She's getting to the age where she's

going to start to become acutely aware of what's going on around

her, and the things that happen are going to have a lasting impact

on her. You need to get her out of that environment as soon as

possible. If you can't do it for yourself, do it for her.

But you REALLY need to call the police on your husband. Normally, I

wouldn't suggest going to such extremes, or feel such need for

revenge, but the man needs to feel what he's done to you. NO ONE

should have to suffer like you have Vicki. Only letting you have

5mg of Methadone per day when you are supposed to be taking 10mg 4

times a day, and denying it to you now, when you have cancer, and

telling you that you will have to see how much pain you can

tolerate, that's beyond cruelty. He DESERVES to spend time behind

bars!

Have the strength to do what is right for you and your daughter

Vicki. Please don't feel trapped by his threats that he'll take

your child away, because they are just blind threats. YOU actually

hold all the power to blow his little house of cards down. Contact

your local women's shelter, make plans, then contact the police.

Get your meds back, let him go to jail, then get the heck out.

Contact your doc to let him know what has gone down, and then the

pharmacy you use to " red flag " your scripts so that ONLY YOU can

pick them up. Your daughter will be safely with you while your low-

life husband gets what he deserves. You CAN get out of this

situation, and with your daughter.

I wish you strength and courage!

Lots of hugs,

Jen

[Guest guest]

Dear Vicki,

I've been following your posts, but have been keeping my very angry

opinions to myself. But the things I've been reading in your posts

now not only anger me, they make me literally sick. You are being

abused in the most horrible way, and you need to get out.

As everyone has stated over and over, you do NOT have to live with

this. What your husband is doing is not just horribly cruel to you,

it's also highly illegal. One call to your local police dept. will

have him behind bars and convicted of felony drug possession faster

than you could bat an eye. And believe me, no one is going to care

to hear his story about how he was doing it " for your own good " or

any of that bullshit. It's still felony possession, and they're

also going to think he's as inhumane as all of us do!

I absolutely do NOT think you would risk any chance of losing your

daughter in all of this, especially when it's revealed what your

husband has been doing to you. She's getting to the age where she's

going to start to become acutely aware of what's going on around

her, and the things that happen are going to have a lasting impact

on her. You need to get her out of that environment as soon as

possible. If you can't do it for yourself, do it for her.

But you REALLY need to call the police on your husband. Normally, I

wouldn't suggest going to such extremes, or feel such need for

revenge, but the man needs to feel what he's done to you. NO ONE

should have to suffer like you have Vicki. Only letting you have

5mg of Methadone per day when you are supposed to be taking 10mg 4

times a day, and denying it to you now, when you have cancer, and

telling you that you will have to see how much pain you can

tolerate, that's beyond cruelty. He DESERVES to spend time behind

bars!

Have the strength to do what is right for you and your daughter

Vicki. Please don't feel trapped by his threats that he'll take

your child away, because they are just blind threats. YOU actually

hold all the power to blow his little house of cards down. Contact

your local women's shelter, make plans, then contact the police.

Get your meds back, let him go to jail, then get the heck out.

Contact your doc to let him know what has gone down, and then the

pharmacy you use to " red flag " your scripts so that ONLY YOU can

pick them up. Your daughter will be safely with you while your low-

life husband gets what he deserves. You CAN get out of this

situation, and with your daughter.

I wish you strength and courage!

Lots of hugs,

Jen

[Guest guest]

Dear Vicki,

I've been following your posts, but have been keeping my very angry

opinions to myself. But the things I've been reading in your posts

now not only anger me, they make me literally sick. You are being

abused in the most horrible way, and you need to get out.

As everyone has stated over and over, you do NOT have to live with

this. What your husband is doing is not just horribly cruel to you,

it's also highly illegal. One call to your local police dept. will

have him behind bars and convicted of felony drug possession faster

than you could bat an eye. And believe me, no one is going to care

to hear his story about how he was doing it " for your own good " or

any of that bullshit. It's still felony possession, and they're

also going to think he's as inhumane as all of us do!

I absolutely do NOT think you would risk any chance of losing your

daughter in all of this, especially when it's revealed what your

husband has been doing to you. She's getting to the age where she's

going to start to become acutely aware of what's going on around

her, and the things that happen are going to have a lasting impact

on her. You need to get her out of that environment as soon as

possible. If you can't do it for yourself, do it for her.

But you REALLY need to call the police on your husband. Normally, I

wouldn't suggest going to such extremes, or feel such need for

revenge, but the man needs to feel what he's done to you. NO ONE

should have to suffer like you have Vicki. Only letting you have

5mg of Methadone per day when you are supposed to be taking 10mg 4

times a day, and denying it to you now, when you have cancer, and

telling you that you will have to see how much pain you can

tolerate, that's beyond cruelty. He DESERVES to spend time behind

bars!

Have the strength to do what is right for you and your daughter

Vicki. Please don't feel trapped by his threats that he'll take

your child away, because they are just blind threats. YOU actually

hold all the power to blow his little house of cards down. Contact

your local women's shelter, make plans, then contact the police.

Get your meds back, let him go to jail, then get the heck out.

Contact your doc to let him know what has gone down, and then the

pharmacy you use to " red flag " your scripts so that ONLY YOU can

pick them up. Your daughter will be safely with you while your low-

life husband gets what he deserves. You CAN get out of this

situation, and with your daughter.

I wish you strength and courage!

Lots of hugs,

Jen

[Guest guest]

ey you need to put restraing order against him where he can not come

near you and the child.

Im worried you confronted him,it who gets to who frist gets cusdoyy, do you

have family there,thats makes it hard ,if you file retstraning order on him

he cannot come near you are yourr child,but you got to do it your screaming

for help vicki please get help now,please,dont belive him you have just as

much rigth as you to your child,dose he have lots of influabce in town or

somthing,

[Guest guest]

ey you need to put restraing order against him where he can not come

near you and the child.

Im worried you confronted him,it who gets to who frist gets cusdoyy, do you

have family there,thats makes it hard ,if you file retstraning order on him

he cannot come near you are yourr child,but you got to do it your screaming

for help vicki please get help now,please,dont belive him you have just as

much rigth as you to your child,dose he have lots of influabce in town or

somthing,

[Guest guest]

ey you need to put restraing order against him where he can not come

near you and the child.

Im worried you confronted him,it who gets to who frist gets cusdoyy, do you

have family there,thats makes it hard ,if you file retstraning order on him

he cannot come near you are yourr child,but you got to do it your screaming

for help vicki please get help now,please,dont belive him you have just as

much rigth as you to your child,dose he have lots of influabce in town or

somthing,

[Guest guest]

VickiFL@... wrote:

>

> I confronted my husband, after talking to my doctor who said that it was

> basically my problem and there wasn't anything they could do about

> it. My husband said it was his way or the highway and that he would

> ask for a divorce and take my baby girl with him. I feel trapped.

Why do you believe him?

Why don't you believe in yourself?

Just reverse this scenario. ok. You tell him " It's my way or the highway. "

Now! Why don't you think you can do what he'd do with that threat?

What ever he can do, you can do as well. You are no less of a person

than he is.

Now, go tell him. " It's my way or the highway, mate! "

As for him saying he'll take his daughter from you. What a load of crap!

Call his bluff the big flobby bully.

Just get up and go woman. Or. Let him cook his own dinners and wash

his own clothes. Let him go without his conjugal rights

He has to love you for that. And until he does....well, stiff bickies.

Sorry i'm not seasoning my words with salt and pepper, i'm tired and

it's late again for me.

I just feel your situation is urgent. Otherwise I would have sat back

a bit for a while.

> I told him that there was no way I could live on half tablets after a

> complete hysterectomy and he said, " oh well.....guess we will see how

> much pain you can tolerate. "

Lets just see how he likes a lonely house without you in it.

Sharon.

[Guest guest]

Jana L. Menefee wrote:

> He just thinks that the way it would go. My first husband made the

> same threat. It didn't work out that way at all. Try this number when

> you have a bit of time to yourself. 1- <snipped>... There

> are shelters all over the country for refuge for people at risk, .....

Why should the woman who's being abused leave the home? It should be the

other way around. He is the one who should go, and you should stay .

I always ask myself that question. Because it seems that the abusers get

to stay in the home whilst the abused have the added trauma of packing

up and going. ly I don't care if he sleeps in the street. But I

do care where you sleep.

Anyway, that's by the bye.

Good thoughts for you Vicki. And ring that number Jana left for you now.

Sharon.

[Guest guest]

Jana L. Menefee wrote:

> He just thinks that the way it would go. My first husband made the

> same threat. It didn't work out that way at all. Try this number when

> you have a bit of time to yourself. 1- <snipped>... There

> are shelters all over the country for refuge for people at risk, .....

Why should the woman who's being abused leave the home? It should be the

other way around. He is the one who should go, and you should stay .

I always ask myself that question. Because it seems that the abusers get

to stay in the home whilst the abused have the added trauma of packing

up and going. ly I don't care if he sleeps in the street. But I

do care where you sleep.

Anyway, that's by the bye.

Good thoughts for you Vicki. And ring that number Jana left for you now.

Sharon.

[Guest guest]

She is rigth I think that it runs deeper than your telling vicki,so if you

wont stand up for yourself,do you want him rasing your child by himself ,get

restraing order now go to shelder,You see vickie if you dont get out

eventally the baby well suffer dont ever make the mistake its only you he

well controll get out of there and make a new start,If you husbun gose to

same doc get a diffret one Theres no way I can candie coat this,please it

only been since 99 that i was poisoned could not prove it ,it was my own

meds he used they put it in them,i think,noone can save you but you I

know it hard to belive,but it happens you had one child I had four I did

it,Dose he tell you noone else well want you,you cannot make it on your

own,dose brow beat you,tells you cant do enything

rigth,get out

Chantel wrote:

> Your husband is abusive, there is no two ways about it.

[Guest guest]

She is rigth I think that it runs deeper than your telling vicki,so if you

wont stand up for yourself,do you want him rasing your child by himself ,get

restraing order now go to shelder,You see vickie if you dont get out

eventally the baby well suffer dont ever make the mistake its only you he

well controll get out of there and make a new start,If you husbun gose to

same doc get a diffret one Theres no way I can candie coat this,please it

only been since 99 that i was poisoned could not prove it ,it was my own

meds he used they put it in them,i think,noone can save you but you I

know it hard to belive,but it happens you had one child I had four I did

it,Dose he tell you noone else well want you,you cannot make it on your

own,dose brow beat you,tells you cant do enything

rigth,get out

Chantel wrote:

> Your husband is abusive, there is no two ways about it.

[Guest guest]

I, for one, can offer Vicki and her daughter a safe place to stay - for as long

as necessary. We've got two spare rooms, it is possible. I hope that we don't

all sound too pushy for Vicki to handle and push her away from this group... we

just care about you, Vicki - and want good things for you. You deserve good

things.

Sending love, hugs, and good energy your way,

in Iowa

[Guest guest]

No, I haven't and that has me worried too. Wish someone knew how to

contact her offlist. I talked to my husband about this last night. He's

also a chronic pain suffer AND a recently retired deputy sheriff and he was

very upset that someone would treat someone else like that. I admit at

times I have had control over my husbands meds doling them out when he was

unable to do so himself because of surgery, but I would have NEVER

considered cutting him off, giving him fewer then needed or stealing any of

them even though I suffer too (I have my own meds). I really hope someone

can get a hold of her and help her out, she's in more danger then she

realizes.

Chantel

-------Original Message-------

has enyone heard from vickie,i have not seen her responed at all,

[Guest guest]

I know maby hes got controll og her computer I hope he relzes that if

enything happens there all of us to bear witness agianst him,and its in

wrting,good for court,if we do not here from here somone should call

athortys.and if your reading her email mr husbun,realize she has frinds,we

well not let go tell here from her.

Chantel wrote:

> No, I haven't and that has me worried too.

>Wish someone knew how to contact her offlist.

[Guest guest]

I know maby hes got controll og her computer I hope he relzes that if

enything happens there all of us to bear witness agianst him,and its in

wrting,good for court,if we do not here from here somone should call

athortys.and if your reading her email mr husbun,realize she has frinds,we

well not let go tell here from her.

Chantel wrote:

> No, I haven't and that has me worried too.

>Wish someone knew how to contact her offlist.

[Guest guest]

I know maby hes got controll og her computer I hope he relzes that if

enything happens there all of us to bear witness agianst him,and its in

wrting,good for court,if we do not here from here somone should call

athortys.and if your reading her email mr husbun,realize she has frinds,we

well not let go tell here from her.

Chantel wrote:

> No, I haven't and that has me worried too.

>Wish someone knew how to contact her offlist.

[Guest guest]

Chantel:

It sounds like you and I do almost the same thing. I give my husband his

insulin if his sugar is so high he cannot do it himself or I feed him milk

or orange juice if his sugar is too low that he cannot get to the kitchen

and get it or feed himself. But, our cases are very different from Vicki's.

Ours is out of love and compassion, not control and commanding.

Sam

When a man screams, you must learn to whisper. - Graffiti Bridge.

Chantel wrote: I admit at

times I have had control over my husbands meds doling them out when he was

unable to do so himself because of surgery, but I would have NEVER

considered cutting him off, giving him fewer then needed or stealing any of

them even though I suffer too (I have my own meds).

[Guest guest]

Please let us know how she is doing Ken. Both me and my husband are very

concerned about her. my husband, who is also a retired deputy sheriff

would very much like to help her but he needs to be able to contact her and

know she's safe. She's got a lot of people on her side, i hope she uses

that advantage.

Chantel

[Guest guest]

Please let us know how she is doing Ken. Both me and my husband are very

concerned about her. my husband, who is also a retired deputy sheriff

would very much like to help her but he needs to be able to contact her and

know she's safe. She's got a lot of people on her side, i hope she uses

that advantage.

Chantel

[Guest guest]

We all have had our real ups and downs. With the big downs, it is nice t

have someone there that cares. Yet, I cannot force someone to talk if

they do not want to. Yet, if the know that I am there for them, sometimes

this helps. This has been the case this afternoon. I think the best we

can do is reach back to her from the group offering our support and care.

Vicki has gone through a lot for a long time now. No one needs their

spouse or love ones causing them more more problems! Any one in this kind

of additional abuse must reach out for help! This is not only wrong for

her husband to do, but illegal. I have told her this when this started a

couple weeks ago. I/we as a group continue to tell her this. I will

level my my " IM " line open to her if she would like to chat. I will not

force her to do so, though. It is great that you along with so many here

on this group show care for her. Maybe this will help her. I wish there

was more that I could do, but it is hard with the distance and situations.

Ken - Colorado Springs