Guest guest Posted October 8, 2004 Report Share Posted October 8, 2004 I'm so angry today. I watched the law n order bpd ep last night and the husband was such a wimp, didn't even seem to care about those babies. I am so tired of my dad's party line (dont bring it up she cant defend herself shes dead) Typical. I was not thinking, and impulsively sent the entire foo a copy of my last post. It will hurt my dad. good? No I dont want to be the hurtful one. But I did it. I want a reaction. All I will get is more shaming anger. Dumb. And why the whole foo? I'm feeling shame, but I did not cause those incedents. Why am I provoking them? Is it because I want them to SEE, to KNOW what she did? I am just so SICK of their silences, their unforgiveness, their twisted view of me that SHE put in their heads. All they ever knew of me was the intimate details of my every transgression as well as a bunch of manipulative bullcrap that made me into the family nutjob. And when I finally got old enough to stop trying to prove to her and the rest of the family that I was not this horrible bad person, gave up trying to get her to stop messing with my head and learned instead to shield myself with anger it only seemed to prove that she was right and that I was the troublemaker. Why can't they just allow that she was sick and that it was wrong and that she screwed up my head and that I have a right to " dig it up " so I can get better? They just don't deal with it. - jana Not getting anywhere, just stuck in frustration today. What is the fog anyway? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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