Re: Frustrated! Hitting is a big problem!!

May 26, 2012

my daughter was kicked out of school for tantruming like that - she attacked a pregnant teacher... You ARE NOT a failure as a parent. Does your child have an IEP/Behavior Plan in place??? Where are you? If you are in California there are many resources I could direct you too (I left in 07 and it was the dumbest thing that I have ever done!!!!!). I have four special needs children, and my youngest is very aggressive - medication may also help. Clonidine seemed to help with Hope's aggressiveness....Mom to four special kids aged 24 to 12 Scar tissue is stronger than regular tissue. Realize the strength, move on.~Henry Rollins~ To: autism-aspergers Sent: Saturday, May 26, 2012 12:40 AM Subject: Frustrated! Hitting is a big problem!!

My 3 year old son recently diagnosed with high functioning autism has had a hitting problem since last year at age 2 when we suspected he was on the spectrum.

Lately at preschool he hits certain kids. It's like he targets some more than others. He's been targeting one little girl the past few weeks. I feel like a failure as a parent!! It just seems so wrong that my child acts like this & I don't know how to control it! I'm a teacher and I feel not only like a failure for not being able to help him overcome this aggressive behavior but I'm embarrassed because I feel that I should be able to do this since in my own classroom I have pretty good classroom management techniques. I know its different as a parent & that he does have special needs but I just want to know what to do!!!

He does have a really hard time keeping his hands to himself. I'm not sure why he hits other kids & why he targets certain ones. It's very frustrating to me! I get so angry because I just don't get it & no one seems to be helping him. I wish I knew what to do.

He did this last year at daycare & was kicked out. He targeted one little girl & terrorized her! I felt so helpless not knowing why he did this or what to do to correct the behavior. That's why I decided to stay home for a year to get him a diagnosis & help. We've gotten some help but not enough. His IEP has been minimal & the way they address these aggressive behaviors is by using social stories or having the para educator redirect him. These methods don't seem to be working long term. They do not provide ABA which I think could help.

We re-opened his IEP & demanded a functional behavior assessment to be conducted. But now we are at the last week of school so we will have to wait until next fall for this to be conducted & discussed.

I would rather not start any meds yet. He's too young for that. I just know that there has to be a behavioral approach that could help him & me understand how to control those impulses.

Does he do this with malicious intent or is it more an impulse control issue? Why does he target certain kids more than others? I wonder if OT could help if it's related to sensory stimulation?

Any ideas or suggestions?

Thanks!!

Gladys

May 26, 2012

It would really help you to try to figure out exactly why he is hitting. My first thought, for a 3 year old who seems to only hit one person is that he is trying to communicate. I had to teach my son how to initiate playing with someone, and then show him exactly how to play with someone. He knew he wanted to play, but didn't know what to do next.Another possibility is sensory, but it would be less likely, in my mind, that it would be just one person. Unless she in particular somehow tips the bucket, so to speak. Is her voice exceptionally loud? That kind of thing. Or, it is a habitualized response to being overwhelmed.It could be control, too, as in sensory overload. Sometimes our kids do something because it is the routine they know, and they need help to reset that. Does it always happen during play time? It could be a free play time is too unstructured for him. Does it mostly happen during a circle time? It could be that he needs more structure of that time--sitting in a chair or a beanbag, to help him define his space.It is hard to say exactly, but your team needs to help figure out what is going on. It is really helpful to do careful observation. What is he like right before this happens? Is he playing happily? Is he looking agitated? It may seem random, but careful observation over time can help uncover clues as to why it is happening.You can't effectively change things until you know what needs to change! Figure out why, and you will be on your way.Oh, the only thing I would say for sure is that it is NOT malicious, and it does NOT make you a bad mother!Sent from my iPad

My 3 year old son recently diagnosed with high functioning autism has had a hitting problem since last year at age 2 when we suspected he was on the spectrum.

Lately at preschool he hits certain kids. It's like he targets some more than others. He's been targeting one little girl the past few weeks. I feel like a failure as a parent!! It just seems so wrong that my child acts like this & I don't know how to control it! I'm a teacher and I feel not only like a failure for not being able to help him overcome this aggressive behavior but I'm embarrassed because I feel that I should be able to do this since in my own classroom I have pretty good classroom management techniques. I know its different as a parent & that he does have special needs but I just want to know what to do!!!

He does have a really hard time keeping his hands to himself. I'm not sure why he hits other kids & why he targets certain ones. It's very frustrating to me! I get so angry because I just don't get it & no one seems to be helping him. I wish I knew what to do.

He did this last year at daycare & was kicked out. He targeted one little girl & terrorized her! I felt so helpless not knowing why he did this or what to do to correct the behavior. That's why I decided to stay home for a year to get him a diagnosis & help. We've gotten some help but not enough. His IEP has been minimal & the way they address these aggressive behaviors is by using social stories or having the para educator redirect him. These methods don't seem to be working long term. They do not provide ABA which I think could help.

We re-opened his IEP & demanded a functional behavior assessment to be conducted. But now we are at the last week of school so we will have to wait until next fall for this to be conducted & discussed.

I would rather not start any meds yet. He's too young for that. I just know that there has to be a behavioral approach that could help him & me understand how to control those impulses.

Does he do this with malicious intent or is it more an impulse control issue? Why does he target certain kids more than others? I wonder if OT could help if it's related to sensory stimulation?

Any ideas or suggestions?

Thanks!!

Gladys

May 26, 2012

May be sensory in nature. Could be the sounds of these kids voices, that they move too quickly. Or their odor. An OT may be able to help, my son had and can have similar reactions to children. He use to bite! Sent from my iPad

My 3 year old son recently diagnosed with high functioning autism has had a hitting problem since last year at age 2 when we suspected he was on the spectrum.

Lately at preschool he hits certain kids. It's like he targets some more than others. He's been targeting one little girl the past few weeks. I feel like a failure as a parent!! It just seems so wrong that my child acts like this & I don't know how to control it! I'm a teacher and I feel not only like a failure for not being able to help him overcome this aggressive behavior but I'm embarrassed because I feel that I should be able to do this since in my own classroom I have pretty good classroom management techniques. I know its different as a parent & that he does have special needs but I just want to know what to do!!!

He does have a really hard time keeping his hands to himself. I'm not sure why he hits other kids & why he targets certain ones. It's very frustrating to me! I get so angry because I just don't get it & no one seems to be helping him. I wish I knew what to do.

He did this last year at daycare & was kicked out. He targeted one little girl & terrorized her! I felt so helpless not knowing why he did this or what to do to correct the behavior. That's why I decided to stay home for a year to get him a diagnosis & help. We've gotten some help but not enough. His IEP has been minimal & the way they address these aggressive behaviors is by using social stories or having the para educator redirect him. These methods don't seem to be working long term. They do not provide ABA which I think could help.

We re-opened his IEP & demanded a functional behavior assessment to be conducted. But now we are at the last week of school so we will have to wait until next fall for this to be conducted & discussed.

I would rather not start any meds yet. He's too young for that. I just know that there has to be a behavioral approach that could help him & me understand how to control those impulses.

Does he do this with malicious intent or is it more an impulse control issue? Why does he target certain kids more than others? I wonder if OT could help if it's related to sensory stimulation?

Any ideas or suggestions?

Thanks!!

Gladys

=

May 27, 2012

My .02, I really believe its gotta be sensory. She may have a voice highly irritating to him, who knows? Seriously she might have clothes too bright. Reminds me of a story where a mom who had a son that used to SCREAM shut up to her, only happened when they were driving. Dad and relatives are ready to strangle the kid, mom is devastated. A good OT figured out, he was fine driving in the vehicle, and fine with the radio on...but that was IT. He maxed out with even a whisper, never mind talking when the driving and music were happening at once. Go figure, with my daughter, I just never know, but I DO know, I need to have great respect for environment and how it affects her. Please don't buy into the whole "I should know thing, it will hurt you and him. Having a child with these needs is very humbling in our politically correct world, but in a few years you will see...who really cares what "they" (who?) think. Hugs, DebiSent from my iPhone May be sensory in nature. Could be the sounds of these kids voices, that they move too quickly. Or their odor. An OT may be able to help, my son had and can have similar reactions to children. He use to bite! Sent from my iPad My 3 year old son recently diagnosed with high functioning autism has had a hitting problem since last year at age 2 when we suspected he was on the spectrum. Lately at preschool he hits certain kids. It's like he targets some more than others. He's been targeting one little girl the past few weeks. I feel like a failure as a parent!! It just seems so wrong that my child acts like this & I don't know how to control it! I'm a teacher and I feel not only like a failure for not being able to help him overcome this aggressive behavior but I'm embarrassed because I feel that I should be able to do this since in my own classroom I have pretty good classroom management techniques. I know its different as a parent & that he does have special needs but I just want to know what to do!!!He does have a really hard time keeping his hands to himself. I'm not sure why he hits other kids & why he targets certain ones. It's very frustrating to me! I get so angry because I just don't get it & no one seems to be helping him. I wish I knew what to do. He did this last year at daycare & was kicked out. He targeted one little girl & terrorized her! I felt so helpless not knowing why he did this or what to do to correct the behavior. That's why I decided to stay home for a year to get him a diagnosis & help. We've gotten some help but not enough. His IEP has been minimal & the way they address these aggressive behaviors is by using social stories or having the para educator redirect him. These methods don't seem to be working long term. They do not provide ABA which I think could help. We re-opened his IEP & demanded a functional behavior assessment to be conducted. But now we are at the last week of school so we will have to wait until next fall for this to be conducted & discussed. I would rather not start any meds yet. He's too young for that. I just know that there has to be a behavioral approach that could help him & me understand how to control those impulses. Does he do this with malicious intent or is it more an impulse control issue? Why does he target certain kids more than others? I wonder if OT could help if it's related to sensory stimulation? Any ideas or suggestions?Thanks!! Gladys=

May 28, 2012

Thanks! I appreciate the support & ideas. I'll look into strategies that'll help my son in this area. Gladys

My .02, I really believe its gotta be sensory. She may have a voice highly irritating to him, who knows? Seriously she might have clothes too bright. Reminds me of a story where a mom who had a son that used to SCREAM shut up to her, only happened when they were driving. Dad and relatives are ready to strangle the kid, mom is devastated. A good OT figured out, he was fine driving in the vehicle, and fine with the radio on...but that was IT. He maxed out with even a whisper, never mind talking when the driving and music were happening at once. Go figure, with my daughter, I just never know, but I DO know, I need to have great respect for environment and how it affects her. Please don't buy into the whole "I should know thing, it will hurt you and him. Having a child with these needs is very humbling in our politically correct world, but in a few years you will see...who really cares what "they" (who?) think. Hugs, DebiSent from my iPhone