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Re: Another Newbie

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Hi , and welcome! You'll find that you're going to

shout " Eureka! " over and over again as you read the posts here - we

actually *understand* each other and there's a lot of validation in

knowing that others know what you're talking about.

Your siblings are trying to maintain the " family facade " that you've

held up for so many years. I've had to walk away from almost my

entire family because they're all still playing that game, and I'm

just not a player anymore. I know the truth now, and it's so

freeing :).

Welcome!!

> Hi all.

>

> I'm brand new at this. I'm used to various message boards (I

belong

> to a Catholic Convert forum), but I've never talked to anyone

> outside my immediate family...regarding " Life with Mother. " *BIG

> SIGH*

>

> It just so happens that the " Law and Order " episode, that some of

> this group's members were talking about, was the pivotal moment

that

> caused me to race to the computer, and type in, " Borderline

> Personality Disorder. " Imagine my surprise (and relief) when page

> after page came up...and all of them were about...mother! I almost

> shouted, " Eureka! "

>

> I should mention that my mother refuses to acknowledge she has any

> kind of problem. She says the problem is me. Six years ago, I

> just...snapped, and finally told her that there was

something " Wrong

> with her. " Well, that did it. I was treated to the most

> traumatizing episode of histronics...the likes of which I had never

> seen...even from my mother. Since that day, I officially went from

> being the VERY good daughter, to the VERY BAD, SOCIOPATHIC, CRUEL

> AND SECOND-RATE daughter.

> I spent years feeling guilty. I would wake up in the middle of the

> night, and wonder what I could do, to be a better daughter. I just

> assumed that mother was right...and then...slowly, but surely, that

> self-opinion began to erode. Still, I had no explanation for

> behaviors that my mother exhibited. My siblings would hear none of

> it! One agrees that I'm the problem, and the other doesn't

> understand why I can't just make everything better.

>

> Neither of them understand...that my mother chose me from the time

I

> was born, to be her co-dependant...her caretaker...her everything.

> For, that is what I was. Still, when I was finally strong enough

to

> make the break (40 years later), I was assaulted with feelings of

> responsiblity. After all...I had taken care of my mother for so

> long. And, she was more than happy to validate those feelings, and

> she let me know (often) just how warped I was.

>

> So, how's that for an introduction? I could go on and on.

>

> IH,

>

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> Hi all.

>

> I'm brand new at this. I'm used to various message boards (I

belong

> to a Catholic Convert forum), but I've never talked to anyone

> outside my immediate family...regarding " Life with Mother. " *BIG

> SIGH*

>

> It just so happens that the " Law and Order " episode, that some of

> this group's members were talking about, was the pivotal moment

that

> caused me to race to the computer, and type in, " Borderline

> Personality Disorder. " Imagine my surprise (and relief) when page

> after page came up...and all of them were about...mother! I almost

> shouted, " Eureka! "

>

> Welcome, .

I have been a member for less than a month. This is a very good place

to be to learn more about BPD, and to get support for dealing with

your mother.

Be kind and gentle to yourself - Sylvia

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  • 2 months later...
Guest guest

Hi and welcome. Hope all is going well for you.

Sylvia

> Hi to everyone,

>

> I'm another one out there who's just discovered

> I have a nada. I've been an observer for awhile; this

> is my first post. I've only been an enlightened KO for

> about a month, and I am amazed at the transformation it has

> effected. Never has one single piece of information been so

> very important to my existence.

>

>.......>>>>>

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Guest guest

Hi and welcome. Hope all is going well for you.

Sylvia

> Hi to everyone,

>

> I'm another one out there who's just discovered

> I have a nada. I've been an observer for awhile; this

> is my first post. I've only been an enlightened KO for

> about a month, and I am amazed at the transformation it has

> effected. Never has one single piece of information been so

> very important to my existence.

>

>.......>>>>>

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Guest guest

Hi and welcome. Hope all is going well for you.

Sylvia

> Hi to everyone,

>

> I'm another one out there who's just discovered

> I have a nada. I've been an observer for awhile; this

> is my first post. I've only been an enlightened KO for

> about a month, and I am amazed at the transformation it has

> effected. Never has one single piece of information been so

> very important to my existence.

>

>.......>>>>>

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