: Welcome to Holland

[Guest guest]

Dear ,

This is a rerun of something I posted awhile back. I think this

essay is lovely. I've seen it posted here by others as well -- so

those of you who've read it a hundred times can just hit the " delete "

key now. :-)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Recently, as I spoke to some friends about 's Ocd, I told them

that

as I was beginning to accept the reality of our situation, I went

through some tough days. Angie, your words echoed mine: " This isn't

what I signed up for! " was what I thought.

That reminded me of the beautiful essay by Perl Kingsley,

called " Welcome to Holland " and I wanted to share it with any of you

who aren't familiar with it. I'm learning to live with our days in

Holland, but I disagree with Ms. Kingsley on one thing: when she

says that the pain of the change in plans will " never, ever go away "

I find myself shaking my head " no. " Because while our new path is a

challenge, and not one I would have chosen, I also often find myself

thinking that God wouldn't have let us land in Holland if He didn't

plan to take good care of us there. Slowly, He reveals to me the

little ways in which He can turn this pain into good: compassion for

others with the same trials, sensitivity to all kinds of " different "

kids, an aching love for that tender, aching heart of my child, a

powerful love for the siblings who also have to struggle through, an

increased level of communication between husband and wife, and the

heartening and moving support of this online community.

Best wishes to you all,

Welcome To Holland

By Perl Kingsley

c1987 by Perl Kingsley. All rights reserved

I am often asked to describe the experience of raising a child with a

disability - to try to help people who have not shared that unique

experience to understand it, to imagine how it would feel. It's like

this......

When you're going to have a baby, it's like planning a fabulous

vacation trip - to Italy. You buy a bunch of guide books and make

your wonderful plans. The Coliseum. The Michelangelo . The

gondolas in Venice. You may learn some handy phrases in Italian. It's

all very exciting.

After months of eager anticipation, the day finally arrives. You pack

your bags and off you go. Several hours later, the plane lands. The

stewardess comes in and says, " Welcome to Holland. "

" Holland?!? " you say. " What do you mean Holland?? I signed up for

Italy! I'm supposed to be in Italy. All my life I've dreamed of going

to Italy. "

But there's been a change in the flight plan. They've landed in

Holland and there you must stay.

The important thing is that they haven't taken you to a horrible,

disgusting, filthy place, full of pestilence, famine and disease.

It's just a different place.

So you must go out and buy new guide books. And you must learn a

whole new language. And you will meet a whole new group of people you

would never have met.

It's just a different place. It's slower-paced than Italy, less

flashy than Italy. But after you've been there for a while and you

catch your breath, you look around.... and you begin to notice that

Holland has windmills....and Holland has tulips. Holland even has

Rembrandts.

But everyone you know is busy coming and going from Italy... and

they're all bragging about what a wonderful time they had there. And

for the rest of your life, you will say " Yes, that's where I was

supposed to go. That's what I had planned. "

And the pain of that will never, ever, ever, ever go away... because

the loss of that dream is a very very significant loss.

But... if you spend your life mourning the fact that you didn't get

to Italy, you may never be free to enjoy the very special, the very

lovely things ... about Holland.