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> Today, when I was about to send my reworked proposal, I heard, not

> from the boss but from a work-study student, that the boss is going

> on a completely different direction on the project. He didn't ask

> my advice or let me know his plans. As far as I can tell, his

> approach is not technically reasonable. Feasible? Perhaps. Ten

> times more difficult than necessary? At least.

> I am ready to throw in the towel. What towel? I don't know. If I

> quit this job I am done with engineering. I can't really afford to

> retire now. I have been f***** over too many times. There must be

> something about that me that makes EVERYBODY want to f*** me over.

>

> - Dan

Dan,

It sounds like you feel your boss doesn't respect you and your

opinion and maybe this is not the first time he has treated you in a

dismissive manner? I think I have attracted nada like bosses for

years. My last boss of six years treated me like a second class

citizen. She was a real snob and looked down upon me. I was her

personal assistant and it felt degrading at times. She was a classic

NPD and I realize now that she was very insecure underneath the

superior attitude she displayed and got some satisfaction in looking

down on me. An example, I asked for a new desk the whole time I was

there b/c mine was a piece of crap from odd desks and she wouldn't

nallow me one, and after I quit she bought my replacement a new desk

within the first month. My replacement was a more aggressive person

and so I guess she responded to that. The only suggestion I have is

to try and clarify things with your boss and make sure the situation

is what it is; and make sure you stand up for yourself when you feel

it is most important. The problem I had was, once the relationship is

formed, it is hard to change the dynamics. I understand what it is

like to work someplace where you don't feel valued. BTW, that is the

number one reason people leave their jobs....not money, but because

they don't feel valued. The second reason is they don't like their

boss, the third is money......

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Dan wrote:

> Today, when I was about to send my reworked proposal, I heard, not

> from the boss but from a work-study student, that the boss is going

> on a completely different direction on the project.

Hi Dan,

Hmmm... Maybe the work-study student is wrong?

I think I'd check it out with someone in the know before

thinking of throwing in the towel.

- Edith

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<< My replacement was a more aggressive person and so I guess she

responded to that. >>

, maybe it was just the honeymoon period and your replacement

will soon be in the same spot you were.

<< I understand what it is like to work someplace where you don't

feel valued. >>

I have never worked anyplace where I felt valued. I go for a while

with a project to do, and then I get dumped on. I feel like I am

being punished for having done an outstanding job on the previous

project. Is this about me or is it the way business works?

Another hypothesis. Engineers over 40 either move up to management

or they are marginalized. I am 59, but still sharp. Maybe younger

managers see me as a threat simply because of my age. I have no

interest whatever in management, but a manager cannot comprehend that.

- Dan

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> Hmmm... Maybe the work-study student is wrong?

No, Edith, the first thing I did was check with my boss. He acted

like he was surprised I wasn't up to date, but there was nobody but

him or the work-study student who could have told me. I am quite

sure the student told me as soon as he found out, because he has been

told that I am to set his priorities. Which is impossible under

these conditions. He is sort of swinging in the wind too.

- Dan

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Sounds like you have got a boss with the jerk gene!

My theory on bosses - It has been my experience that there are far

more JERKS as bosses, than not. I think it has to do with a jerk

getting a promotion, being able to hire another boss, and hiring

another jerk..The first jerk wouldn't want a non-jerk around to make

him/her look bad! And so the ranks of bosses fill up with jerks!

I also marvel at how many companies can continue in business with all

the mismanagement that abounds!

Sylvia

> The boss had asked me to start a new project. I made a preliminary

> proposal. He told me what he wanted done differently. It didn't

> seem necessary to me, but I redid it accordingly. I believed it

was

> very well thought out.

>

> Today, when I was about to send my reworked proposal, I heard, not

> from the boss but from a work-study student, that the boss is going

> on a completely different direction on the project. He didn't ask

> my advice or let me know his plans. As far as I can tell, his

> approach is not technically reasonable. Feasible? Perhaps. Ten

> times more difficult than necessary? At least.

>

> I am ready to throw in the towel. What towel? I don't know. If I

> quit this job I am done with engineering. I can't really afford to

> retire now. I have been f***** over too many times. There must be

> something about that me that makes EVERYBODY want to f*** me over.

>

> - Dan

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