Re: Negative Self-Hypnosis

[Guest guest]

In a message dated 3/24/04 7:03:54 PM Eastern Standard Time,

free_spirit_etc@... writes:

most of our un-useful childhood impressions or beliefs are

weakened by later experiences

And here we are...creating better experiences for ourselves. There is HOPE.

Thanks, Carol

[Guest guest]

Free,

Totally know what you're talking about. When I dropped off nada

yesterday, I heard this inner voice like I'd not heard in so long

and I thought " I get it now why I had all those car accidents when I

was younger " in that I couldn't focus on being in the now- too much

garbage playing upstairs. The main thing I heard was " Kill nada-

kill nada " ...lol. But my son was in the car and I'm trying to be all

spiritual and stuff so I just turned up the radio so she couldn't

talk until I dropped her off. To me, its little wonder so many

serial killers have nadas as I use to fantasize about that a lot

when I was a teenager and I even thought of it a couple of times

while she was here the past few days and I'm a fairly level headed

moral person. Wonder if they did studies of crimes of passion how

many would be either be victims of BP's rage or acting from BP's

projections?

I'm glad she's gone. I've spent too much money in therapy to buy her

bs about what a horrible and worthless person I am, but its hard not

to internalize it when I'm around her. The only thing I could think

was 'Thank God she's leaving soon.'. My shoulders have been tight

all day today and I've been a little stressed and wrote a super long

letter that I may or may not send, but I'm pretty much over it and

ready to get back to my semi-normal life where nada has no input or

influence (which is probably why she acted up so much- but at this

point she's pretty much dead to me- think I'm going the route of a

few other KOs here as she crossed too many boundaries on my turf and

that just isn't acceptable to me).

Here's to getting that internal dialogue out in the open, analyzed

and disposed of for the garbage it truly is...needs to be put in a

landfill in nadaville so that they can deal w/all the $hit they dole

out. Not willing to give a psycho anymore of my time, emotion,

energy and identity as of this point in my life. Here's us taking

out the nada trash.

Kerrie

> Hey! Here's my drive by posting for the evening. (gotta get to

class.)

>

> Interesting when I was thinking of the " nada in the head " thing.

But

> the article talks of how we have " silent chatter " - kind

> of " hypnotizing " ourselves with negative self talk that we do not

> even HEAR.

>

> So, instead of trying to silence the chatter - they advise us to

> become more aware of it (since we are " hearing " it at some level

we

> might as well make it conscious.

>

> I know recently this voice started coming up for me that said " I'm

a

> BAD person " any time something went wrong. At first the voice

> surprised me - but it has probably been there ALL ALONG - silently

> undermining me....

>

> FREE

>

> Article

>

> http://www.nlp-now.co.uk/negative_self_hypnosis.htm

>

> Notice your Negative Self-Hypnosis

> (From The Pegasus NLP Newsletter - 4 April 2000)

>

> I don't know what he did wrong but he'd certainly annoyed his

> mother. 'Don't you ever, ever, do that again. You stupid, stupid

> little boy. Do you hear me? I won't stand for it. Never, ever

again!'

> Each phrase was emphasised with a smack on the bottom. The three

year

> old was in tears. The woman was beside herself with anger.

>

> No doubt she was well-intentioned and wanted to teach him an

> important life-lesson. I am sure that her intention wasn't to set

him

> up for a life-time of low self confidence and self esteem.

>

> The constantly repeated messages we receive as children help form

our

> self esteem and self confidence. These messages have added power

if

> received when we are in a highly emotional state. So the little

boy's

> scared and tearful state made him very susceptible to the

repetition

> of 'stupid, stupid' message. Such messages have all the impact of

> powerful hypnosis.

>

> Happily most of our un-useful childhood impressions or beliefs are

> weakened by later experiences and by the passing of time - unless

we

> unwittingly continue the process of negatively hypnotising

> ourselves...

>

> Listen to your self-talk - the on-going silent chatter in your

head.

> Is this building you up or undermining you?

>

> Whenever you make a mistake do you say 'you stupid, stupid

boy/girl'.

> When someone criticises you do you silently agree with them as if

> it's yet more proof of your low self worth? Are you carrying on

the

> negative hypnosis of overworked and impatient teachers or loving

but

> scared and incompetent parents?

>

> Our self talk messages have a very powerful hypnotising affect on

us.

> Just like hypnosis they are so repetitious that we rarely

challenge

> them.

>

> They are relentless - so we stop consciously 'hearing' them. And

> they are either so monotonous that we are lulled into a passively

> accepting them or are very emotionally charged and impactful.

>

> Many people recognise this and try to stop this negative self-

> hypnosis. But most of them go about it the wrong way - by trying

to

> not talk to themselves.

>

> So let's get one thing clear - you will never stop your self talk.

> Accept that and you are half-way to ending the self-undermining.

> What's more your self talk is a valuable part of your thinking. It

is

> what you say to yourself that needs attention.

>

> The solution is powerful but is deceptively simple. Spend a few

> minutes every day noticing the undermining messages you give

> yourself. Just pay attention to this negative self hypnosis and

think

> to yourself 'There I go - repeating the old, redundant stuff

again.'

>

> That's all. Keep it simple and you're more likely to do it.

> Incidentally, this is a lot more effective than trying to stop the

> negative self talk because the more you try to NOT think of

> something the more fixated on it you become.

>

> Do it for a few minutes every day and start benefiting from

positive

> self observation. And, each time you notice that you are

undermining

> your self esteem and self confidence, remind yourself of how you

are

> a different person now than you were way back then.

[Guest guest]

<< To me, its little wonder so many serial killers have nadas as I

use to fantasize about that a lot when I was a teenager and I even

thought of it a couple of times ... >>

Kerrie, this reminds me of something that happened when I was about

14 years old. Fada had a .22 rifle that he kept hidden, I didn't

know here. One day I asked him if he would teach me to shoot

targets. He said that he would not, and he keeps it hidden because

sometimes teenagers shoot their parents. I had really never

fantasized that. I was shocked that he could suspect me of such a

thing, and to this day I don't have faith that I am not a monster

deep down.

My interpretation of the incident now is that he was projecting his

wish to kill me.

- Dan

[Guest guest]

Dan,

I think your interpretation is 'right on target' so to speak-

lol.Yes, those nutcases do project b/c they're too much of cowards

to take ownership of their own emotions and problems. I really do

think many of them enjoy the disease so to speak. I know when I was

addicted to cigarrettes there was a long time where I really enjoyed

smoking, but then after I quit the first time, it wasn't enjoyable

the second time around for those few years. I see that with

alcoholics too as my aunt is one and so is her first cousin. He,

however, no long enjoys being drunk and is in AA, she still enjoys

it. I think the Borderlines who continue to behave as such have a

payoff and so keep playing the game. Otherwise they'd be like Randi

and get help and some of them do to their credit.

I think it is in UMB where it mentions a few serial killers have

been noted to have BP witch type mothers. My nada was on 'witch'

mode this past weekend and in so far as I'm concerned, she's gone

for good in my life. My dh said as much too so even if I wanted

anything to do w/her, he's drawn his line in the sand.

My brother and I both tried to kill ourselves in high school, so we

know all about the projection thing and maybe because she was the

queen/witch type, we both fantasized about killing her more than

maybe KOs of another type of BP. I know my brother left knife marks

in the wall one time when they had cornered him in his bathroom. He

locked them out (my bp nada and np step-fada) and I'm really glad

they didn't push b/c I think he would've perhaps attempted to kill

them. That was after I moved out. I felt really bad for him b/c he

was the all good kid growing up until I moved out and then he got

all nada's rage and yet had no coping mechanisms for it b/c I'd

always taken the brunt of it for most of our lives. He had to go

away for a year to a mental facility to get control of nada's

devestation on him....after his suicide attempt. I only went away

for a couple of months and it was a nice break but they didn't do

anything to address the fact a nada and a fada shouldn't be raising

children. we would've been better off raising ourselves to tell the

truth.

Sorry to go off on such a tangent. Feel like typing now that the

baby's asleep:)

Kerrie

> << To me, its little wonder so many serial killers have nadas as I

> use to fantasize about that a lot when I was a teenager and I even

> thought of it a couple of times ... >>

>

> Kerrie, this reminds me of something that happened when I was

about

> 14 years old. Fada had a .22 rifle that he kept hidden, I didn't

> know here. One day I asked him if he would teach me to shoot

> targets. He said that he would not, and he keeps it hidden

because

> sometimes teenagers shoot their parents. I had really never

> fantasized that. I was shocked that he could suspect me of such a

> thing, and to this day I don't have faith that I am not a monster

> deep down.

>

> My interpretation of the incident now is that he was projecting

his

> wish to kill me.

>

> - Dan

[Guest guest]

Hi Deb,

Emails are slow all over the Internet. Dunno why.

- Edith

Deborah Kovak wrote:

> I wrote this several days ago. Whats going on?

> Debbie

> Re: Re: Negative Self-Hypnosis

>

>

> Dan,

> At 12 I had a plan to kill my step-adopted dad. I used to kill him over and

over in my sleep. I was about ready to act when the fighting between my parents

came to a climax and he left. Later they were discussing going back together. I

informed my mother that if they did, I was certainly running away & never coming

back. For years I believed that she didn't go back to him for 2 reasons, 1) he

tried to molest me, & 2) I threatened to run away. It was later on that she told

me that neither of them had any reason what-so-ever to do with her decision not

to go back with him. Wow! What a knock down blow to my heart. It was like I was

worth nothing to her at all, & I had thought that she had at least cared that

much about me. I believe that I would have been different about the whole

situation. If my husband were to do something like that to one of my kids I

wouldn't kick him out, I would kill him. But to be honest, I don't think that I

would ever let it get to that point to b

egin with. She married him even after he abused me. That would have been my

warning & I would have told him to go to hell.

> All this to say, I know just what a kick in the heart & soul that had to be

for you. My kids & I frequently target practice in my back yard for 2 reasons.

1) they may need it one day to save their lives or for food to eat. 2) just

because my mother wouldn't approve of me doing it & tried to forbid it when I

was a kid. She didn't get her way then & she won't get her way concerning my

kids. Have some fun & if you can do it where you are target practice just for

spite. Its fun & its taking back something you wanted to do & were forbidden. I

feel good every time I do it.

>

> Debbie

>

>

> << To me, its little wonder so many serial killers have nadas as I

> use to fantasize about that a lot when I was a teenager and I even

> thought of it a couple of times ... >>

>

> Kerrie, this reminds me of something that happened when I was about

> 14 years old. Fada had a .22 rifle that he kept hidden, I didn't

> know here. One day I asked him if he would teach me to shoot

> targets. He said that he would not, and he keeps it hidden because

> sometimes teenagers shoot their parents. I had really never

> fantasized that. I was shocked that he could suspect me of such a

> thing, and to this day I don't have faith that I am not a monster

> deep down.

>

> My interpretation of the incident now is that he was projecting his

> wish to kill me.

>

> - Dan

>