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Plugging in

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I struggle, and think I always have, with the ability to feel and

remain fully present. As a child, nada kept everything in constant

chaos thru her rages and breakdowns. I know I didn't feel safe in

that environment and hid my true self away for many years. Now that I

am reuniting with my self I still struggle with *staying* plugged in.

Its like I am not fully tuned in on a daily basis. I am sure it is a

ptsd thing as I have been diagnosed with that. Its like only a part

of me is present sometimes. I probably have spent most of my life

this way,. BUT sometimes I do plug in and it is a wonderful, calm and

most natural feeling. Its like I am tuned into my spirit but have a

hard time incorporating it fully into my body. Anyway, if somebody

understands/relates to this, what are your thoughts on this and

anything that might help. Maybe it is a process and this is normal, I

just wish I could be more consistently present..Thanks,

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