Re: Negative Self-Hypnosis -trompolina Free

[Guest guest]

[nada's pregnancy was somehow related to her cruelty to me]

Hadn't given this any thought before; every time nada became pregnant their

marriage was in the toilet; and the new baby made nada helpless (unable to

contribute to the family) for months on end. BP controlling at it's best? BPs

ARE psychic...or at least VERY perceptive of their partner's vulnerabilities; my

fada stayed, for reasons only he understands, and never once left. Leaving

(gone on Friday, back on Monday) was Nada's 'all attention is mine' technique.

Carol

In a message dated 3/26/04 10:47:51 PM Eastern Standard Time,

trompalina@... writes:

Hey Free<g>.

Free, quoting Bradshaw: " That EVERYONE in the family KNOWS the secrets...but

they often don't know that they know. "

Free, probably in more ways than we can live long enough to know. How ironic

you posting that at this time. I realized something today that I realized most

of my life but didn't realize. I'll explain.

With clairity, when before I was having " problems " I was aware that the two

most difficult times in my childhood was when I was 7 and 12. I felt strongly

that when I was 12, nada's pregnancy was somehow related to her cruelty to me.

A lightbulb went off today. When I was 7, mom was pregnant. Hmmmm. Very

interesting. And even more interesting that I didnt' see the common denominator

before now.

[Guest guest]

Hey Free<g>.

Free, quoting Bradshaw: " That EVERYONE in the family KNOWS the secrets...but

they often don't know that they know. "

Free, probably in more ways than we can live long enough to know. How ironic you

posting that at this time. I realized something today that I realized most of my

life but didn't realize. I'll explain.

With clairity, when before I was having " problems " I was aware that the two most

difficult times in my childhood was when I was 7 and 12. I felt strongly that

when I was 12, nada's pregnancy was somehow related to her cruelty to me. A

lightbulb went off today. When I was 7, mom was pregnant. Hmmmm. Very

interesting. And even more interesting that I didnt' see the common denominator

before now.

~~~~~still processing Hugs, Trompalina

>

> Trompolina said: She was probably just afraid he'd shoot her in the

> ass during one of her fits. And Gawwwwwwwwwwwwd forbid the sound of

> the shot alerting neighbors that there might be something wrong in

> the queen's palace.

>

> Free said : The queens' palace - lol

> Yep. You are probably right on her sudden motivation...

>

>

> Trompolina said: I had also said when nada raged at me in august, no

> more family secrets.

>

> Free said: I thought it is interesting what Bradshaw says about

> Family Secrets. That EVERYONE in the family KNOWS the secrets...but

> they often don't know that they know.

>

> Free

[Guest guest]

Lol,

I FEEL like national lampoon's Christmas vacation. In March no less.

My husband and I used to laugh at his mother always taking a vacation with his

sister/husband. We could only fathom how miserable that would be. Houseguest was

too much. Oh, the Kirstie Alley movie where she starts freaking and losing it

" lock the doors, windows, etc. " How I used to laugh over that.

Birth order. I didnt delve into that topic. I do think Bradshaw is " right on "

with family dysfunction. I'll never forget his one program where he used a

mobile. And used it as a tool to show how when one family member broke from what

was expected of them the whole mobile reverberated. He had a series on for about

10 weeks and I was just fascinated

I don't know whether I could handle knowing exactly what made nada tick but I

think it had to be some things that happened to her when she was young. I know

she had an emotionally deprived childhood, I don't think there was extreme abuse

but who knows if there might not have been some molestation. Years ago before I

was focused on nada (but in therapy) my husband said he thought she'd been

molested by her father. Just a consideration but I wouldn't doubt it. Not to

condemn the man as I don't know, nor knew him but I think incest is sometimes

involved in bp's pasts.

How many ko's does it take to change a lightbulb? <smile> Trompalina

> > >

> > > Trompolina said: She was probably just afraid he'd shoot her in

> the

> > > ass during one of her fits. And Gawwwwwwwwwwwwd forbid the sound

> of

> > > the shot alerting neighbors that there might be something wrong

> in

> > > the queen's palace.

> > >

> > > Free said : The queens' palace - lol

> > > Yep. You are probably right on her sudden motivation...

> > >

> > >

> > > Trompolina said: I had also said when nada raged at me in august,

> no

> > > more family secrets.

> > >

> > > Free said: I thought it is interesting what Bradshaw says about

> > > Family Secrets. That EVERYONE in the family KNOWS the

> secrets...but

> > > they often don't know that they know.

> > >

> > > Free

[Guest guest]

Yes - definitely controlling. I read a study - over 20 years ago,

that compared the number of marriages breaking up against the ages of

the children in the family. The study stated that most of the

marriages broke up AFTER the youngest child was over the age of 3.

So nada, and others who think that having a child saves a marriage,

were on to 'something', but not on to the right thing. Having a child

may extend the life of the marriage, but it never really saves it.

And in the end, it is still the children who suffer the most.

Sylvia

> [nada's pregnancy was somehow related to her cruelty to me]

>

> Hadn't given this any thought before; every time nada became

pregnant their

> marriage was in the toilet; and the new baby made nada helpless

(unable to

> contribute to the family) for months on end. BP controlling at

it's best? BPs

> ARE psychic...or at least VERY perceptive of their partner's

vulnerabilities; my

> fada stayed, for reasons only he understands, and never once left.

Leaving

> (gone on Friday, back on Monday) was Nada's 'all attention is mine'

technique.

> Carol

>

>

>

> In a message dated 3/26/04 10:47:51 PM Eastern Standard Time,

> trompalina@y... writes:

> Hey Free<g>.

>

> Free, quoting Bradshaw: " That EVERYONE in the family KNOWS the

secrets...but

> they often don't know that they know. "

>

> Free, probably in more ways than we can live long enough to know.

How ironic

> you posting that at this time. I realized something today that I

realized most

> of my life but didn't realize. I'll explain.

>

> With clairity, when before I was having " problems " I was aware that

the two

> most difficult times in my childhood was when I was 7 and 12. I

felt strongly

> that when I was 12, nada's pregnancy was somehow related to her

cruelty to me.

> A lightbulb went off today. When I was 7, mom was pregnant. Hmmmm.

Very

> interesting. And even more interesting that I didnt' see the common

denominator

> before now.

>

>

>