An 'aha' moment about my feelings

[Guest guest]

I am reading over the posts from last night, and the last was in

reference to a post that referenced my feelings for my father....I

said that I had 'mixed' feelings because he didn't protect us, and

yet he did give us the only love we received as children in the

family. I have been struggling with 'mixed' feelings and pretty much

mentally beating myself up because I couldn't just have one feeling

or another....And why, I asked myself...do I feel so strongly that I

should only have one feeling about anything? Well, because nada

always thought in black and white, and nada was always right. I had

no reference in my foo that 'mixed' feelings were a more normal than

not. That people who could understand or see the various elements in

any issue would have mixed feelings. Wow! Having mixed feelings is

another way of saying I am NOT like nada. Great! I am going to

celebrate the mixed feelings. They may confuse the heck out of me at

times, but I'll take them over the nada thinking.

My amazon order just arrived. I ordered a copy of 'Surviving a

Borderline Parent'. I will keep the box unopened until I get my

chores done, otherwise, I will just sit down and not get up until I

have finished reading it.

Be kind & gentle to yourself,

Sylvia

[Guest guest]

-What a neat insight Sylvia...Thanks for sharing it...

Free

-- In ModOasis , " smhtrain2 " <smhtrain2@y...> wrote:

> I am reading over the posts from last night, and the last was in

> reference to a post that referenced my feelings for my father....I

> said that I had 'mixed' feelings because he didn't protect us, and

> yet he did give us the only love we received as children in the

> family. I have been struggling with 'mixed' feelings and pretty

much

> mentally beating myself up because I couldn't just have one feeling

> or another....And why, I asked myself...do I feel so strongly that

I

> should only have one feeling about anything? Well, because nada

> always thought in black and white, and nada was always right. I

had

> no reference in my foo that 'mixed' feelings were a more normal

than

> not. That people who could understand or see the various elements

in

> any issue would have mixed feelings. Wow! Having mixed feelings is

> another way of saying I am NOT like nada. Great! I am going to

> celebrate the mixed feelings. They may confuse the heck out of me

at

> times, but I'll take them over the nada thinking.

>

> My amazon order just arrived. I ordered a copy of 'Surviving a

> Borderline Parent'. I will keep the box unopened until I get my

> chores done, otherwise, I will just sit down and not get up until

I

> have finished reading it.

>

> Be kind & gentle to yourself,

>

> Sylvia

[Guest guest]

smhtrain2 wrote:

> ... I have been struggling with 'mixed' feelings and pretty much

> mentally beating myself up because I couldn't just have one feeling

> or another.

Hi Sylvia,

KOs are good at beating their self up. But that's a flea. When

we beat ourself up we're doing nada's work for her.

> ...And why, I asked myself...do I feel so strongly that I

> should only have one feeling about anything? Well, because nada

> always thought in black and white, and nada was always right. I had

> no reference in my foo that 'mixed' feelings were a more normal than

> not. That people who could understand or see the various elements in

> any issue would have mixed feelings. Wow! Having mixed feelings is

> another way of saying I am NOT like nada. Great! I am going to

> celebrate the mixed feelings. They may confuse the heck out of me at

> times, but I'll take them over the nada thinking.

Yes! And another flea (Sylvia's black/white flea) begins to bite

the dust.

I have spaces reserved for all you KOs over here by the

lamppost. A KO can only get here by taking one tiny step at a time.

Cheers,

- Edith

Today's 'Birthday' girl.

[Guest guest]

HAPPY BIRTHDAY EDITH!!!!!!

- Edith

Today's 'Birthday' girl.

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